Wait

Last week a few friends and I were commiserating over some of the perils of being single. Maybe commiserating is the wrong word. We were just commenting about how our lives didn’t really match our childhood dreams with “the” husband and “the” 2.0 kids. And while the journey we find ourselves on can be challenging and lonely at times (especially the random Sunday evening), life remains abundantly full and quite satisfying.

The next day, the following devotional arrived. The encouraging words written by Kelly and “Big Momma” had gone through a series of forwards before making its way to my inbox.  They struck a chord with me, so I thought maybe they’d strike a chord with you too. And Kelly kindly gave me the permission to share.

Long line of people standing in queue

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” I Corinthians 2:9

Well I have talked to lots of you recently and it seems to me that this phase of life is hard on everyone.  Letting go of the security of college and friends and doing really big life decisions for the first time is a hard thing.  All of us seem to be waiting on something….to find “the one”, to get a better job/house, to get married, to be good at what we do, to have babies, to get over bad things that have happened to us.

But somewhere in all of that we have to just give it all up and enjoy the time now!  Easier said than done for me too. But here’s the thing when we actually get that something we are longing for..there will be a new something we desire.  Totally normal! 

None of the things we get in life will take away our insecurities, fears and worries. Well that is except one….which is completely surrendering it all to the One who gave it all to us. This is not something easily accomplished and not something you do once.  It is a constant struggle every day to pray about but so rewarding when you find peace and contentment in everything you do and all you are even just once.

To the single women:
If you can’t find contentment and security as a single woman, then you’re not going to find it in marriage.
Marriage is great. Marriage is wonderful. Marriage is hard. It takes work and sacrifice and dying to what you want in return for what’s best for both of you. 

Marriage isn’t going to take away all of your fears, insecurities, and worries.  Actually, marriage tends to just amplify whatever junk is in your life because you have someone who may or may not point it out to you and call you on it but you have to love them anyway because you’ve pledged to be bound to them until death do you part.

As wonderful a person as your spouse is, we all still mess up and we disappoint each other because we are human.  If God made anyone perfect then we wouldn’t need Him would we? So the best advice I can offer, based on my love of learning things the hard way and doing things wrong the first several times, is to trust God to show you the person who is right for you. Someone can look great on paper, your friends may love him, he may have the best job, a cool car, and not wear jean shorts, but that doesn’t mean that he’s the one.

Basically you need someone who you’d want next to you in battle, who can make you laugh even in the tough times, and will encourage you to be the best that you can be. Apparently, marriage is like being in the Army.

Don’t settle for less than you deserve just because less is right in front of you and the best may still be unseen. I guarantee there are many women in marriages that are so lonely that they long for their single days when at least they had the hope of finding someone who would understand them, love them, and care for them.

Your twenties (or thirties or season of singleness) is the last time in your life when you are free to do whatever it is you want to do without having to answer to anyone else. If I could change anything, I wish I would have embraced it more instead of wishing it away. When it’s all said and done it seems like a mere blip on the radar of life and it’s hard to imagine a time when the most romantic thing in your day didn’t involve someone telling you they don’t mind eating leftovers the second night in a row. (Not kidding. I adore a man that’s willing to eat leftovers two nights in a row.)

To everyone:
And, ultimately, keep in mind that we’re all waiting on something no matter where we are in life. Being married (and having kids) is wonderful, but I guarantee that every person who is reading this has some secret desire in their heart that they would like to see fulfilled. I have so many things in my life to be thankful for, but there are other things that I dream about and hope for and, honestly, I don’t know if those things will ever come to pass or not.

All I can do is keep my eyes on the One who knows everything in my heart and trust that He knows what’s ultimately the best for me. He hasn’t let me down yet.

He hasn’t let me down yet either. But still I needed this beautiful reminder to “Wait.”

Oh, and if you would like to get Kelly’s weekly devotionals in your inbox, just shoot her an email at kellymdurham@yahoo.com. I have already encouraged her to start blogging.

What are you waiting for?

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club. She spends her days (and some nights) laboring to end childhood hunger at Feed the Children and to gather, equip and unleash women at IF:Gathering.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Ali

    This post speaks to me very much, Lindsey! God also hasn't let me down, but here I sit at 39 wanting to find a husband to share my life, and it is hard not having that! One of my best friends always reminds me that having a husband will not make me happy when I tell him that I want to be happy and find someone. He insists that I must find happiness within myself first. His words are true, but obviously I need the reminder.

    And I also see the wisdom here in the fact that we need to ask God for guidance in seeing who, in fact, is right for us. I am human, and I get caught up in wanting the cute guy with the great job. Oh and one who is also very smart. But as my wise friend reminds me, I need to focus on who would be best for me–and forget all these rules I have in my head.

    Thanks for sharing this today, Lindsey.

  • Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting. ~Dr. Seuss

    Patience is the hardest skill to teach a child…apparently it's the hardest skill to retain in adulthood as well!

    Great post!

  • That was really encouraging to read, and be reminded of. I am constantly telling myself to stop thinking so much and just let God lead me. So far its been a interesting ride, but amazing none the less!

    Laura

  • StephanieinLex

    We learn sooooo very much in waiting, indeed. And looking back at the last 10 years or so, I wouldn't trade what I've learned for anything.

    Thank you for the reminder, Lindsey. You're right, a beautiful post. When I get anxious in my wondering/waiting, I try to remember: "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19 Not that I'm good at always remembering this. 🙂 Easier said than done, huh?

    God is big enough for our career questions, our love lives, and for whatever we bring to His feet. I love that His plans for us are greater than we could ask or imagine.

  • it's true. i'm always in a season of waiting. it's so easy for me to believe the lie that if i just had X, i would feel more fulfilled, i'd be happier, i'd be able to do what i want to do, etc. but really, if had X, i'd still be wanting and waiting for Y. vicious cycle.

    learning to be content in all things is one of the hardest simple things to do.

  • Tim

    Amen! Great post.

  • Powerful stuff. This part really hit me:

    "I guarantee that every person who is reading this has some secret desire in their heart that they would like to see fulfilled. I have so many things in my life to be thankful for, but there are other things that I dream about and hope for and, honestly, I don’t know if those things will ever come to pass or not.

    All I can do is keep my eyes on the One who knows everything in my heart and trust that He knows what’s ultimately the best for me. He hasn’t let me down yet."

    It's so hard for me to not let the unknown of whether my heart's desire will come to pass become a feeling that God has let me down. I've had so many things in life that I wanted to do blow up in my face (like my career choice, a marriage…) that sometimes I just sit there asking God why He keeps letting me down like this. (Yeah, I know, stupid…)

    Thanks for sharing this, Lindsey.

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  • This is a great post about waiting in general. We all want something. Sometimes it feels urgent and sometimes it’s not. Now that I’ve been married for 10 years, I’ve found the woman of my dreams and I’m blessed with two amazing gifts from God. Now that my heart has been fulfilled there, my lusts wonder elsewhere. I think there is a reason why the Bible constantly points to Him as the source of our fullness. This other stuff just doesn’t fill the gap or void.

    What am I waiting for? I want to make my mark and be known for it. There I said it. It’s pride and it’s selfish, but it’s true. I’ve spent most of my career behind the top dog. Oftentimes, they were getting the credit for my contributions. But you know, I’ve realized that the call to be #2 is just as great as being #1, so I’m slowly changing my paradigm. It’s not easy. I want to see it differently now, but I don’t. Not yet.

    So, I’m waiting for that day. That opportunity. Perhaps it will come. Maybe it will never. Regardless, I’m going to be the best #2 I can be.

    Apparently, this struck a chord. Thanks for sharing!

  • "and not wear jean shorts." (-: love it.
    My recent post Ask Joy- Should I Dance