With a Heavy Heart

Woman legs on green grass

I’m at the airport, alone after weeks of people and ideas.

Feeling so full. Yet so empty.

Feeling so blessed. Yet so discontent.

God has done a number on my soul. He’s been gently nudging me, prompting me, telling me that it is time to do something, assuring me that I need to trust His plan and His timing.

I have more questions than answers, more doubt than faith, more fear than courage.

Yet I remain in pursuit, desperate for secure footing as I boldly take my next step.

What is on your heart today? How can I be praying for you?

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
2 He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
3 He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD.  Psalm 40: 1-3

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club. She spends her days (and some nights) laboring to end childhood hunger at Feed the Children and to gather, equip and unleash women at IF:Gathering.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • for my hubby… (see link below)… he did not get asked back for his contract.

    and I will keep on praying for you thru this 🙂 my stickie note reminds me to 🙂
    My recent post Dear John: A letter to my sweetie

  • Sounds like a spirit of discontent just before a huge leap forward. I'll be praying Lindsey!

  • my hear is right now praying for your heart. =]
    My recent post jealousy.

  • I so understand a heavy heart. Feeling full but yet empty all at the same time. God keeps working on my heart a little at a time. I will pray for you as you step out on faith to make this change.

  • thanks jenny. i love knowing that i'm sticky note worthy.

  • oh, i don't really know where i am going. i just know i'm going or what i'm doing…it's just clear that i am being called to. thanks for the prayers. saying one for you as well…

  • thanks cheryl! loved your tweet…"Do not pray for a future for which you're not willing to change."

  • thanks patricia

  • thanks lisa..nice to feel understood, although i hate that you know the feeling.

  • ah, i feel the same way. i had a really great convo with bianca last night. some huge stuff happening with us too. =) lets talk soon.
    My recent post Landing Softly

  • i loved that you and bianca were hanging out last night. if only…

    i will call you this weekend. hopefully some of the tired will have faded 🙂

  • mpt

    Thank you, Lindsey, for sharing this. A sweet honest post…

    • thanks for the encouragement matthew. praying for ya'lls trip.

  • Chrystie

    Love the verses you posted! Praying for you to find rest, peace, and renewal.
    My recent post Worshipping In Truth

  • You just described the contents of my brain. I went to a conference last weekend and was encouraged and excited, but then I got home and all week I've felt like I'm missing something obvious. It's been a difficult year for my family to say the least and I feel like I'm just inching back into my life…but I don't recognize it.

    The main difference between how I feel and what you wrote is that I'm not sure about boldly taking a step because I have no idea where I'm going.

    But underneath it all, in my core where it really matters, I have a peace that certainly passes all understanding.

    We're strangers, but I'll pray that God fills you up with so much of Him that you can't hold it all inside yourself. That He gives you light for the next step you need to take. You can pray the same for me if you want.

  • Lindsay, we should talk. Seriously. I understand that "on the edge of a cliff" feeling but not being sure what – or how – you should move onward. I prayed for three years. yeah. And I camped out in those waiting verses. Here are the ones that spoke to me. Perhaps they will minister to you as well:

    Psalm 37:7 says "Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for HIM to act." (don't take it into your own hands is how I interpreted that. Seek HIM first, not information, But HIM!) Then verse 34 of that same passage says "Don't be impatient for the Lord to act! Travel steadily along his path. He will honor you by giving you the land…"

    Praying for peace and great clarity – and an awesome understanding that every place on the journey is sacred. Even the place of waiting.

    • thanks jan. love the verses. peace and clarity would be huge.

  • I remember feeling this way after returning from a mission trip to Indonesia and after attending a Catalyst conference.

    I started to leave a long comment here and as I was thinking on my response, I was given an idea for a blog post. I am going to link to link my post to your thoughts here because I think they are important.
    My recent post Nudiustertian – Not just for adults

    • your post was incredible. thank you so much for sharing it.

      • Tony York

        Lindsey.. I have been away from Social Media for a while because I needed to recenter on what was important… still learning that 🙂

        I joined a small church three years ago that was/is pastored by a young man that God is working through to help people understand their identity is centered in Christ and not performance or relationships… or anything else that we put in the way. He has recently finished a book that will be launched in middle of November. I am trying to help him connect with people on social media that can provide assistance with his ministry.

        For some reason, your name came to mind… (like maybe you were in the editing or book business or new someone). I had to dig through my old blog posts to find my way here.

        I don’t know why I am here, Lindsey except to see if you or someone you know could help Chris with his ministry through his book.

        God Bless.. my email is yorktony@yahoo.com … I used to post at 30secondrule.

  • This is exactly where I am right now…trying to remember that His timing is always perfect and that just because I’m not where I thought I’d be at this point in my life doesn’t mean that I’m not exactly where I should be.

    Thank you for sharing.

    • "t just because I'm not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life doesn't mean that I'm not exactly where I should be." — so true, so true…

  • Your posts always seem to hit close to home for me. I too just returned from an incredible trip and I can totally relate to your mixed feelings. Somehow amidst all the uncertainty I have a deep down peace that God will provide. Thanks for your encouraging words tonight!

  • Pretty much what is on your heart. Strange how many people are experiencing this kind of thing all at the same time.

    My recent post April.30.2009

    • i'll be praying for you too..it is strange how so many people are feeling this right now.

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  • Lindsey, the words you wrote are exactly where I am as well. I am praying for patience, peace and faith as I take each new step and wait. I was thinking the other day about Paul's encouragement for us to "run with patience" the race that is set before us. "Run"… but "with patience". Such an oxymoron, but such a picture of my life right now. Thank you for sharing your heart. Saying a prayer for you tonight.
    My recent post This Guy

    • a friend told me yesterday that i don't need to figure out His plan…just the next right step…it helped in making me feel less overwhelmed. hopefully knowing that will help you too.

  • He shall bear you up on wings as eagles….

    you shall run and not faint….

    Ready… Set… Go!!!

    My recent post Ervin’s Story.

    • ready…set…go… i'm working on that boldness 🙂

  • Followed over from Tony's Blog, I have been experiencing many of the same things also, think it's the Holy Spirit saying "Get Ready", just not sure for what. I could use supportive prayers that I will give up self totally and be used however He wants me, that is what I need to do. Thanks, God Bless
    Jim http://blesseddad.wordpress.com/
    My recent post “Guilty Pleasure’s”

  • Hiya, This is my first stop by at your site. I have found it to be encouraging and hopeful and truthful and honest. Thanks for that. I am actually sitting right now at a coffeeshop in Chiang Mai. We moved here a month ago and it is my first “time out” alone without the kids to reconnect with Jesus, to write, to read. In this moment, feeling a bit lonely and isolated, so thanks for entering this time with me. I will be visiting again. 🙂

    • thanks for stopping by. so neat to meet people spread all over the world on the internet. i hope that your time away made you feel a little more connected. saying a prayer for you right now.

  • chris vonada

    Lindsey,

    my prayer request for be for PEACE… lots of unsettling events going on in my life at the moment, but staying close to God!!

    i hope you'll read my post from this morning, encouraging words about Faith.
    My recent post “Faith is the Substance of Things Hoped for and Not Yet Seen”

  • Ani

    A lot of people are where you are of have been. Good to share. You're in my prayers.

  • I understand completely… I'm where you are. Called to do something important, but largely clueless about how to get there. It's scary, yet exciting. It is a daily test of faith, which has inspired so much growth for me. I think it will for you too!

    Take each step with faith, knowing that He will be there to guide you. As long as you don't compromise your God-given values, you'll find your path. The key is to be bold and to own every single step, right or wrong. I'll be praying for you!
    My recent post Transparency in Business

  • I'm sitting in a blogging conference in Chicago, wondering the same thing… what is the next step? The main take away has been that I need to be real… get rid of the filters. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lindsey…
    My recent post SOBCON Day 1

  • I'll be praying for you, Lindsey. I know this season of a heavy heart will bring a lighter one in the future.
    My recent post Sing It Loud: Follow Friday The Musical 2

  • Lindsey, I totally understand where you're coming from. I've been there for a while now too. So much going on and yet so much unrest in my heart–although in the past few weeks I felt like the Holy Spirit has broke through to my dry and weary heart and has been changing it from the inside out. Reading 66 Love Letters and Plan B have helped along with my daily Bible reading.

    Praying for you girl!

  • After reading your last post I'm pretty sure you need to move to SoCal. Come on, Nibbles!

    I'm emailing you sometime next week when your life stops moving at warpspeed.

    Just want to tell you and Matt and I spoke about you over dinner and I'm chalk full of ideas… if you know what I mean 😉
    My recent post vlog: divorce, dating, dogma…

  • great words, full of faith and truth…thanks for sharing.

  • thanks john…i just missed you in chicago, left yesterday…

  • thanks jason

  • thanks…and i you…

    maybe i need to reread plan b 🙂

  • Amanda

    Lindsey, I just found your blog, but I will definitely keep you in my prayers…and am looking forward to seeing where God will take you!

    Casey, I just LOVE what you said…and may have to "borrow"/share it (I'll figure out SOME way to give you credit!). I am 30, single, AND happy which seems so hard for people to understand…coming back with a "just because I'm not where I thought I'd be at this point in my life doesn't mean that I'm not exactly where I should be" could also work as a gentle reminder to those who ALSO thought I'd be somewhere different, but "different" isn't necessarily "bad". Thanks SO much for the insight! 🙂

  • nibbles…can't believe that is sticking… lamest nickname ever 😉

    can't wait to read the email…funny how God put all these new SoCal friends in my path…i am missing everyone lots…

    hope you and matt had a great dinner…

  • Dingo

    Beautifully stated what I was experiencing last night. Thank you.

  • you put words to my heart so perfectly…

    just another reason i love you so!
    My recent post from start to finish

  • you put words to my heart so perfectly…

    just another reason i love you so!
    My recent post from start to finish

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