If You Asked Me…

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“If you could have anything, ANYTHING your heart desires, what would you want?”

I’d struggle for a few minutes. But after some time, I’d sheepishly answer, “to be known.”

As hard is it is to admit at times, that is really what I’m after. To be known.

More than a successful career, more than abundant wealth, more than a room full of friends, more than a fancy new car, more the sleakest blog, and more than the loudest praise, I want to be known.

I. Want. To. Be. Known.

But you know what’s funny? (Funny-strange, not funny-haha.)

I act. I posture. I deflect. I avoid. I run. I hide.

I. Hide.

I hide from the people who are closest to me.

And I hide from the One who created me and knows me inside and out.

Now, what is that about?

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in! Psalm 139:1-6

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club. She spends her days (and some nights) laboring to end childhood hunger at Feed the Children and to gather, equip and unleash women at IF:Gathering.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • I know you (as a sister does) and I love you. And I'm thankful for you. And I'm proud of you and the light that is His that shines through you. Can't wait to see you tomorrow…

    -Marcie

    • Love you too Marc! And I hope you get some rest tonight because tomorrow night after dinner we are going to sneak out and see the new Twilight movie. 😀

  • That dear friend is the desire of my heart. To be known by Him. To leave nothing hidden from Him. To surrender it all. And yet, I continue to do the same things. Great post. You rock. Just sayin’.

  • Yes. I want to be known too and yet I don't make it easy to know me for the same reasons you listed, thus most relationships are not very satisfying because I'm always thinking, in the back of my head, that if they really KNEW me they'd think differently about me.

    • I know, me too. But everyday I learn that being real and transparent might not get me a lot of friends but it will get me the right friends. Thanks for commenting. I'd missed your voice in the conversation 🙂

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  • Wow… I jumped on a different open computer just to comment on your blog : FINALLY.

    Can I just say… I could have written this post. I so hide.. I deflect and even scare people away. People have even misunderstood me because of my tenadacy to hide. I want to ask a question though? We are both professional women in the corporate world. Do you tend to be a cougar in the workplace? meaning: are you more forth right , forceful, and even more demanding when it comes to your projects, schedules, and business associates? I am.. professionally wise,
    but sadly, when I do get a chance to meet someone or even someone I am even close too. I clam up, loose my grip, and control. like a school girl almost. i dunno.
    I love the psalm above. I pasted it in my journal tonight. thanks Lindsey~

    My recent post I dream a lot…

  • Great post Lindsey! I will have to admit that this is also my heart's desire…to be known…and more specifically for people to know the "real" me…to know my heart…. It's a continued goal of mine to become more authentic and to take off the masks and lay them aside. It's a process of learning the balance of authenticity.

    Be Blessed!
    S.
    My recent post Wordless Wednesday- Roots

  • The original blessing (being fully known) became the broken preocuppation of the hiding game – still played today.(Gen. 1-3) Thanks for the reminder to quit playing & once again pursue w/ God’s grace our original blessing of being known.

  • Do you think this is all of our greatest desire because it is also God’s desire? Doesn’t He just want to be known by us? And, because we’re made in His image we also contain that same desire. Community, connection, relationship. These are what’s important. And because of the introduction of sin into this world it is the main thing that was screwed up: our ability to know God and to know each other. Love this post Lindsey and how it made me think!

  • Deb

    Unlike others who said 'I could have written this post'?
    I *have* written this post. (ha – well, not in these words exactly, but….yeah….)

    I have people in my life who know and who love me anyway. They are, however, few and far between. They are, however, harder to find. But as you mentioned, it may not bring a 'lot' of people….but it will bring 'the right' people. (Although, I have to admit that I've been taking this in stages, especially given my own past. I'm more open than I've been in over a decade, but it's definitely happening in stages. 😉 )

    But you? You're all fabulous.
    So go for it! I think you'd be amazed at how many people out there will be honored to know you.
    😉

    deb

  • Hi, Lindsey! I'm from Brazil and I'm following you on Twitter. When I saw you had a blog, I came to see it.
    If I write something wrong, please forgive my bad english. I'm still learning your language.
    I loved what you wrote, it seems that many people have this desire: be known.
    Know that God knows us deeply inside, as the Psalms says, and He still loves us like His children, it's amazing, isn't it?

    I'll be here every time you write, ok?

    God bless you! Have a good day tomorrow!

    Hugs from Brazil.

    :o)
    My recent post

    • Thanks for stopping by and saying hello!

  • Lindsay

    Gosh Lindsey! I was sitting here, on the verge of having one of those "I wanna cry, but not sure why I wanna cry, maybe I should just eat some ice cream instead" fits, and then I read this. Realizing, that in certain ways, I've made myself a complete stranger to those I know and love… well, it's kind of exhausting. But it's also kind of wonderful. No more hide and (waiting to be) seek(ed). It's time for some show and tell. Thanks for posting!

    • You hit the nail on the head. I’m hiding and waiting to be seeked. What am I 5?

  • i totally get this. i so desire to know and be known, i so crave transparency… and yet i cringe from it all at the same time. it scares me as much as it empassions me.

    maybe this will sound weird, but hopefully you know my heart well enough… i want to know you, lindsey. you.

  • I love how painfully candid you can be, Lindsey.

  • Makeda

    Lindsey, you might as well have been inside my head and pulled this thought right out of my heart. I long to be known but like you, I run and I hide way more than I allow others in so I can be known. I think I'm protecting myself but in the end I'm losing. Thank you for sharing your heart so boldly today.

  • Carol Anne

    Amazing post. It can be so overwhelming sometimes. Being vulnerable enough to be truly known is scary. Rejection is tough, but worth the risk. Because in the end, we are surrounded by those who enjoy our authenticity because they are authentic themselves. I still hide, but now it’s for reflection and not fear of rejection. God knows me and my goal is to know Him more. Thanks for the post. It’s a great way to start my morning of reflection.

  • Oh my gosh – me too friend. Me too. I have been praying this all week for my marriage… that God would help John to know me because to be known means to be loved.

    Yet I push away people who want to know me. So much so that I wrote an entire bible study on it called the Princess Behind the Mask – I thought God was having me write it for others – turns out He had me write it so I would learn what it means to hide from love. Yet I still struggle w/hiding.

    There is a line in Crazy Beautiful that says, "He held up for me what was beautiful so I could see it…" That has resonated w/my heart for years. I need someone to come along side of me and hold up for me what is beautiful about me so that I can see it… because most days I can't. "To be known" to me means that someone comes and "holds up what is beautiful" about me to help me feel loved 🙂

    *sigh*
    My recent post What’s Love Got to Do with it Relationships 101

    • I need to rematch that movie…

  • I deal with the exact same thing, I want to be known for something but often forget that I am known by the ultimate creator of everything.
    Its amazing how I put my self worth and value in what others know about me and what I can do and not being known in Christ.
    My recent post 10 Summer Albums to Keep Your Ears Happy

  • i get this totally. i do. i'm right there with you.

    love you friend. =)
    My recent post Silenced

  • Great post, my friend. I’m right there with you. I listened to a powerful message from Tim Keller yesterday about being “known” intimately by both God and people called “Nakedness & The Holiness Of God”. Check that out. That is so my heart right now.

    • Thanks Grant. I’ll check it out!

  • Best post you've made in a long time. Well done.
    My recent post Kind of a Book Review- Pete Wilson – Plan B

  • Great post (yet again) Lindsey.

    Something I know I can relate to… and I suspect most others too!

    I even feel a series for church coming out of this post. Hmmm… must get to work on that.

    God bless and thanks for your amazing honesty.
    My recent post A Must See Video

  • Really awesome post Lindsey. I want to be known too. You couldn't have picked a more perfect Psalm. Thank you!
    My recent post The voice of reason…

  • Thank you for being honest and vulnerable. I think the need "to be known" is at the foundation of what most people understand to be their wants/desires.

    I could say I blog only for myself, to simply express thoughts and convert them to words on a screen, but that's only partly true (which also makes it a lie you could say). I want to matter. To make a difference. Even if it's some seemingly small, trivial way. I confess to often looking for validation in my interactions with others and it puts a lot of undue pressure on friendships.

    In reading Wild at Heart the author, John Eldredge, specifically addresses men trying to validate their masculinity through the woman (or women) in their lives, but this identity can only be found in God.

    You'd think after thousands of years we'd have this crazy thing called life figured out.
    My recent post Seeing Sin and Visible Vices

  • i think youre in my head.

    i could honestly copy and paste this and post this at my place.

    our desire to be known can be the most beautiful thing as well as the most scariest as well. thats what ive found at least. God created us for fellowship, to be known deeply. thats what i long for. yet, i dont like giving too much of myself away. at some point, i became guarded.

    one thing i do know…id like to know you better. am looking forward to the opportunity too.

    (and there really isnt any way for that not to sound like a cheesy pick up line. awkward.)
    My recent post and the award although there is really no award goes to…

  • Wow – beautifully written and so true.

  • Me too, sometimes. To both. Wanting to be known and hiding. I think sometimes the hiding is because of what we think we know about ourselves, and then we realize that we really never knew at all.

    My recent post Drifting And Dozing On The Shores of Lake Michigan

  • emilysutherland

    This new profile photo of you laughing seems to reflect the part of you that is done hiding. I just love it.

  • mddeibert

    I also want to be known, but in my casen I want to know others. I want to know I’m not the only one that struggles with certain issues. I also think ee want to be known because we want to be accepted, but we are so afraid of being rejected, we hide what we think is most precious. Yet God, knowing our fragility, takes and guards even that which is most disposable to us, and transforms it and uses it for his glory.

    Great post. I’m so glad I “met” you in twitter. 🙂

  • LES

    have you ever heard audrey assad's song 'known'. . .it's super awesome. . .you should check it out. . .