Beautiful Things

Sometimes my singleness feels like a curse, a crazy-never-ending-not-sure-what-is-wrong-with-me-but-surely-it-is-something-obvious-why-won’t-anyone-tell-me curse.

But lately instead of pouting, struggling, fighting through this season of singleness, I have been dwelling on the opportunities this season provides. I have been shifting from a posture of doubt, frustration, and impatience to a posture of trust, privilege, and hope. I have been focusing on the possibility instead of the potentially shattered dreams. Because in all reality…

My season of singleness gives me freedom, time, and resources that I can invest however I choose.

My season of  singleness creates an aching hunger for intimacy with Christ.

My season of singleness is my constant reminder that He is in control, that He has a plan, and that He makes everything beautiful in its time.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (New International Version)

What season are you battling now? What does it make possible?

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Seriously, thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this. It is definitely encouraging people .
    My recent post Suck In My Gut

  • LOVE this post lindsay & i am so there with you. it's amazing how God can allow a perspective shift and a spirit of thankfulness to make this time of singleness such a blessing. from a "curse" to an absolutely beautiful, sweet time of life. here's to dwelling in this time and that God only makes our desire to know Him on such a deep, intimate level, that much stronger.

    ..and that song from Gungor is fantastic. i somehow have never heard of them so thanks so much for sharing!! 🙂
    My recent post all things love affair!

    • that song has been on repeat since guatemala…love it!

      • and i just realized i totally through an "a" in your name instead of the "e". my sincere apologies 🙂 getting ready to download the gundor album. have a goodnight!
        My recent post all things love affair!

  • I just bought the Gungor album. Beautiful.

    I also appreciate your transparency and watching you process this. It’s all good.
    My recent post Why Great Teams Tell Great Stories

  • LInds,

    I love your honesty in this post. Even though I am married now, I remember those feelings like they were just here. It can be so hard. The interesting thing that I'm finding is that the almost desperate longing pops up again even when the singleness is no longer a part of your story (and it won't be forever). I have those familiar feelings now that we are waiting to adopt our child. Sometimes I feel so restless, so desperate to be there and not be here. But, you list of "what this makes possible" applies to so many situations when we find ourself waiting instead of at the destination our hearts desire. Thanks for helping me to see my own "waiting room" an just as much of an opportunity as a burden. Love you!
    My recent post Risky Business- Only the Faint of Heart Need Apply

    • I miss you. I hear the familiar longing in your posts about adoption. I hate it for you…but excited about what God is doing in you through this process. It is beautiful to watch.

      Oh, and thanks for reminding me to put in a question. I meant to but got excited and hit publish 😉

  • It takes courage to admit your struggles. While I'm now (nearly five years later) a happily married husband and father there was a time when I truly hated being single. I'd look in the mirror and wonder what was wrong with me and felt forever trapped in the "friend" zone.

    It almost seems like that longing is the "eternity God has set in the hearts of men" [paraphrased] from the verse above.

    By the way, Ecc 3:11 was the verse at our wedding. 🙂
    My recent post IDEA- Not For Profit Gyms

  • Elizabeth

    If it's ok w/ you, I'm going to copy some of your quotes above…found them encouarging and reaffirming. While reading your post, I was uplifted and reminded my singleness isn't a bad thing but an opportunity and a sweet time in life.
    Thanks for the reminder Lindsey.

  • BillSpinks

    Hi Lindsey,
    Can only guess about lots of things in your life, but it seems you are remarkably competent, smart, pretty, have co-workers and superiors who truly value you…trust that the right relationship is out there for you…patience! I know this is not easy. May I recommend a book?…"Rowing the Atlantic" by a woman who took matters of her happiness upon herself, and made changes….Roz Savage.

    My season is sedentary aging…I can do nothing about the gerund, and battle the inertia of the adjective, with mixed success. I need to think about the possibilities…few come to mind.

    • I will check it out. Thanks for the recommendation. My book list is growing faster than I can read 🙂

  • I can totally relate to this! Thanks for writing it! 🙂

  • tfdopie

    I'm right there with you! Singleness presents both a unique set of challenges and opportunities. However, like you pointed out, when we take Michael Hyatt's advice and ask "What does this make possible?" it does turn the perspective positive. I find asking that question to be a huge help. Thanks for sharing. Not always an easy thing to do.

  • This is the exact kind of music I love. Thanks for sharing this. Acoustic music is so soothing.
    ~ Wendy

  • Lindsey, I love this post. Embracing the season I'm in, I'm convinced, allows God to work so much more freely in my life.
    My recent post The hottest Christian buzzword

  • um…can't wait to get home to download this album. i'm sorry…? excuse me…? this is so beautiful.

    i've had to come to the same place – recognizing and appreciating the season i'm in. for me, i have to be honest and say i've reached a place that i'm really okay anymore with the idea that i may not get married and have a family. i mean, i can believe it 'in faith' but…really? the reality is i have no idea, do i? meanwhile, mama still has to pay the bills. i don't feel less than or without purpose or like my life can't begin without that person. i have a calling to be fulfilled with or without someone.

    maybe i'm going about it all wrong. anyway, i really appreciate your list. and, of course, the song. love it!

    My recent post simple words and a mustardseed

  • Debbie Fowler

    Love your honesty… and your honesty has me thinking about the position of my own heart. I was married right out of college and often dreamed of being single again so that I could do the things I couldn't do because I was married. I was widowed at 30… single again, but not wanting the singleness now. I married again… another chance at this marriage thing… have two boys… everything should be great now… I'm right where I should be. But… as I watched from afar your trip to Guatemala I found myself thinking… If only I were singe like her, I could do those sorts of things for God… I could have those opportunities and experiences. Why am I never content with where God has me? Why do I not trust Him with my life?

    And I think of this quote by Leo Babauta, "Always remember: the journey is all. The destination is beside the point."

    Thanks for reminding me that He makes everything… and it is beautiful.

    • Unfortunately, I think we all struggle to find contentment in our circumstances. Guess that is why we need to find it Him?

  • I am going through this same season and struggle. I allowed the desires of my heart to take me into a depressive time in my life and I became stagnant in my walk. I finally decided to stop living in the fear of remaining single and put myself back out into the world and live. Now, I have to remind myself to live for Him and work on my relationship with him.

    Thank you for posting your heart on this.
    My recent post Dating- Parenting and Judgement

  • Lauire

    Just want to encourage you and other singles. I think your post resonates with so many singles out there. I recently married for the first time in my 40's. I had struggled, cried out to God, mourned my shattered dreams, expressed my desires to him and finally came to a surrender of acceptence of whatever his will was for me. My choosing acceptence grew into delight in serving him any way I could. At the risk of sounding trite, I think the Holy Spirit had to bring me to that point of faith in God's provision and goodness. It certainly gave me the time to heal, work out my "junk" and experience things that, I believe, have shaped me into a better partner and person in general. Jer 29:11 Y

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  • 1. This post was painfully uncomfortable for me to read.
    2. Your vunerability is refreshing.
    3. That song was friggin' amazing!
    My recent post expectations…

  • Great post! Thanks for helping me put things into perspective 🙂

  • oh my gosh, I so get this season… I have so battled these same things. It is why my heart still is passionate about singles – because I know in the church being single can often be the most difficult place, the most questioning place…

    I think I battle "why aren't John and I going to church together yet?" or things of that nature. But then I remember what a good man God has brought me and it lightens my heart.

    My recent post YOU-Create Romans 8

  • karyn

    What a timely post. I've been dealing with this myself and even just this very morning, wondering what is so wrong with me. It feels good to know that I am not the only one God has in a holding pattern.

    • Or maybe it is not a holding pattern at all? Maybe it is a pit stop at a different destination? 🙂

  • I love this song. Right now, I am in a season of being changed and made new. I am discovering God’s love. God is refining me to be beautiful. He takes me feelings of anger and hurt and turns them into a love a compassion that can never be stopped.

  • I have been trying to cling to those three truths this year. Since I don't know when or if my season of singleness will end, I'm determined that I will not waste this time by questioning God or waiting for something to happen. I want to make the most of the opportunities presented to me and seek out the ones I haven't even dreamed of yet. Glad to know we're on this journey together and that you have excellent taste in music:)
    My recent post Coco Avant Chanel

  • Ann Voskamp@Holy Experience

    You are brave and real and I love how you see the world — Your lens is an honest one and that is impossibly endearing…. Thank you.

    My week with you in Guatemala, I kept thinking: Why hasn't this woman been swept off her feet?!
    There some bachelors out there who are seriously missing out!
    I wished my brother (36 and never married) lived closer to Nashville! 🙂

    But you are the one who again has it right… God has you in this amazing season for a season and you are using it in eternal ways…
    Now is always a gift.

    And where I'm at?
    My season, 1/2 dozen kids, homeschooling, makes it possible for me to stay on my knees.

    I am not sure I wouldn't have seen it that way, expressed it so directly, simply… until you asked it this way. Till you helped me see. *Thank you* — I want to remember this.

    I am so *grateful* for all your gifts, Lindsey…
    You use the gold talents He gave you well….

    All's grace,
    My recent post good bye summer moon

    • Started your book this week and I have decided I am going to savor it. But I already know it is going to be one of those books that never leaves my bookshelf.

      I so love your heart, your spirit, and your words. Ann, you are beautiful inside and out. I think you so much for your encouragement and your friendship. It means so much to me to have this smart, stylish, and wise Canadian rooting for me! So thank you…

  • Kingsly

    Thanks a lot. This post helped me a lot.

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  • I’m loving everything about this post! Thank you for the very much needed reminder that instead of whining about the things I don’t like about my life, I really ought to use that energy to find opportunities in those “curses”.

  • Joe S

    Our church just two days ago hosted a discussion evening for singles to talk about single-ness. It was led primarily by the priest, but it was quite fascinating. He kept emphasizing that Jesus himself was single, that being single allows you to touch many more lives, and that the challenges we face in single-ness don't necessarily go away if/when you get married.

    Great post – way to be vulnerable.

  • I, too, fight the "Why Am I Single" Blues . . . underappreciation and undercompensation from those who have the power to change it . . . mystery health issues . . . but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I have greater reason to rest than to wrestle. God knows exactly where I am—and where I'm going. It's not always easy or enjoyable, but it's exactly where I'm supposed to be.
    My recent post What History Can Do

  • Oh, this does take me back! I got married when I was 38, and I remember this so well! Mostly, I remember the peace when I decided to forget about it, and live the life God had gifted me in the here & now, instead of hoping for the next steps. Blessings on you!
    My recent post Give-Away!

  • I often go through the same struggles, but then am quickly reminded by friends that I am doing things they cannot do. I am able to pack up and go, be available, and honestly, do things that I want to do.
    Not saying that I am super pumped that I have all that freedom, but sometimes I think I want the best of both worlds. I guess I have to really look at what I need to sacrifice for love.

    My recent post Questions for You