Too Picky?

I am 34. And single.

So the question has been posed a time or two by friends, family, and complete strangers,

Are you too picky? Perhaps? Just a little? Too picky?

Honestly, I don’t know the answer to that one.

I know that I have finally stopped looking for a younger George Clooney, the captain of the football team, or the king of the frat house.

And I know that I have three things that are non-negotiables. (No, they aren’t a full head of hair, a six-pack, or a European luxury sedan.) They are as simple as this. I am looking for someone who is kindstrong, and funny.

Kind. I want someone who genuinely cares for others. And by others I mean not just those that it is convenient to love. I want someone who purposely builds into those around him. I want someone who chooses his words carefully and speaks gently even when having “tough conversations”.

Strong. I want someone who is protective of what is good and what is right. I want someone who makes me feel safe. I want someone who is confident in who he is and is passionately pursuing what God has called him to. I want someone who will challenge me to be the best version of myself. And I want (okay, maybe I don’t so much want this as need it) someone who will put me in my place (sometimes I can be a little too sassy for my own good).

Funny. I want someone who makes me laugh until I cry. I want someone who encourages me to be freakishly silly. I want someone who can enjoy Christmas, Disneyland, and adventures with pure unadulterated child-like joy.

If those three non-negotiables are too much to ask for, then I am will continue on finding contentment in the single life.

Maybe I am just too picky?


Singles: Would you consider yourself picky? What are the three most important qualities you want in a future partner? Be honest.

Marrieds: What were you looking for? What did you find?

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club. She spends her days (and some nights) laboring to end childhood hunger at Feed the Children and to gather, equip and unleash women at IF:Gathering.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Hi Lindsey. Love this post….Thank you for keeping it real.

    My 3 things:
    -Someone comitted to the Great Commission as evident in their top 3 priorities: (God, Family/other's, themself)
    -Loves Children
    -Sense of humour


  • I'm 28 and single and am definitely picky. It's interesting you mention this because just a few weeks ago, God had me redefine my list. I thought great. Another list. Just what I need, but it was exactly what I needed. Thanks for sharing yours 🙂 I like it!!!

  • I recently got married and I tell my single friends to NOT SETTLE. Some "married" days are really long and if I were to have settled just to get married by a certain age, I would be miserable right now. Luckily, I didn't and I got my wish list of a man. I don't think anything you listed is too picky – they are what you deserve. If you have to spend a few years looking for that, that is so much better than spending a lifetime with someone who doesn't give you what you know deep down you need and deserve.
    My recent post Bring on the turkey

  • Pingback: What Are You Looking For? | Lindsey Nobles()

  • Picky is good. Careful to not let it turn into some self-righteous, self-loving, I think I’m much better than I actually am – kind of attitude though.