Today I am featuring a guest post from my friend Greg Darley. Greg is a young go-getter. A few years ago he started BackStage Leadership, a coaching network that let’s you get behind-the-scenes with some of today’s most influential church leaders. This month he is releasing his first book, Passion is Not Enough. Here’s a quote from the book:

“Good intentions don’t change the world. Ideas alone will change nothing. Desires don’t feed the hungry. Ambition won’t stop injustice. Enthusiasm alone will not reach the lost. Wishing changes nothing. To change the world, we must have more than passion.”

You can read Greg’s blog here.

And follow him on twitter here.

In my research for Passion is Not Enough, I discovered something that I know I will be thankful I learned early—most people that change the world never make the news. I don’t have a scientific study to backup this fact, but its still true. For every person you see on the news making a huge impact in the world (i.e. Bill Gates donating millions of dollars to a charity), there are tens of thousands of others doing work that’s just as important.

Most of them are quietly going about their lives, making a difference where they can. They don’t have fancy websites or worldwide ministries. They help how they can when they can. These are the people serving at soup kitchens or tutoring kids after school. These people clean up neighborhood parks and help a friend who’s sick. They may not be raising millions of dollars, but its still amazing work.

The great majority of them don’t even worry about making the news either. They don’t work for the publicity or notoriety. They don’t need to make the front page for their work. Most world changers never make the news–and that’s ok by them.

Some questions to consider:

·      Will I keep pursuing that vision even if I don’t get the attention I probably deserve?

·      Will you write that book if only 100 people buy it?

·      Will you stay with that church plant when only 20 people show up?

·      Will you work at that after-school program that affects just 3 students?

We all want recognition.  We want to know that the work we do impacts people. We all want the pat on the back.  This is normal. But, for those that are seeking to change the world, you need to realize that you may never receive the credit you deserve.  It’s better to know that going in than getting frustrated in the process.

A quick side note.  Take some time today to encourage those that are changing the world and don’t get the recognition they deserve.  Send a thank you note, an email, or a quick text to someone that’s impacted you.  That encouragement could be the thing that keeps them working.

Greg has generously offered a special discount, 20% off Passion is Not Enough, for this week only for my blog readers. Simply use the coupon code “Lindsey20″ at checkout.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all. I am in Asheville, North Carolina, with the whole clan. We have four generations gathered together to celebrate. And I am so thankful. Today I have a VERY SPECIAL guest-poster. My eight-year-old niece Macon is going to share about Thanksgiving.

Hi.  I am Macon and I am thankful for a lot of things, but I am only sharing a couple of all of those things today.  The definite thing I am most thankful for would be my family (including my Aunt Lulu a.k.a. Lindsey), 2nd would be may house, 3rd would be food (that includes drinks), 4th would be my family’s (My mom, dad, and sisters) compassion kid (her name is Sandra and lives in Guatemala isn’t that awesome?!!!), 5th is all the trips I’ve been on like Londen, Salzburg, Germany, Texas, and Alabama (that is where my aunt used to live), and so many more.

I think this holiday is called Thanksgiving because if you divide the word in half it should equal Thanks and Giving.  The part thanks means thank others and be thankful and the part that says giving means give to others.  So today remember to give and be thankful for the rest of the day.

That is sometings that I am thankful for and what I think thanksgiving means.  Remember to go to macroot919.wordpress.com to see my blog.  Bye!

Me, in a tweet:

Who are you, in a tweet?

You know the rules, 140 charachters or less.

Go.

Today’s “Pruning” post is from Eve Annunziato. Eve works for Mercy Ministries as the Church Relations Director and is a close friend. She is wise about a lot of stuff, about parenting, about God, about pursuing your passions, but she is especially wise about relationships. So thankful to have her speaking into my life.

Follow Eve on twitter here.

What an honor to post for my dear generous, loving, selfless, and fantastic friend, Lindsey.  Isn’t she incredibly amazing!?  Linds asked me to guest blog today to discuss pruning your relationships.  And, when Lindsey Nobles asks you to do something, well, you don’t hesitate!  None-the-less, after pondering the topic, I thought about the last time Lindsey shared my views about this exact subject right here, and honestly it was rather controversial.  And much to my chagrin, many folks frankly took what I was saying out of context.  So I decided this post would take a more positive point of view.  So here it is…  But first, I will respond to the naysayers from that last post: it’s NEVER EVER healthy to surround yourself with draining, negative people who bring you down and make you depressed – even if you’re a Christ follower.  However, we must graciously pray, love, forgive ALL people, including the crazies – but from a distance.

Topping my list of goals for 2010 is to live in the present, go second, and maintain work-life balance by focusing, loving and being grateful for my VIPs (Very Important People).  I want to ensure my relationships with my VIPs are a priority.  In times of busyness, I used to have tendencies to shelve my healthy relationships and focus on generally unhealthy so-called friends who didn’t really like me – my VDPs (Very Draining People) and VNPs (Very Negative People).  NOT ANYMORE.  Why put an effort toward folks that suck the life out of you and form only conditional, one-way relationships? I call those people, “Flavor of the month friends!” They use you for a season to get what they need and then move on to other relationships…

As all of you know, the effect of relationships in our lives simply cannot be overemphasized. When they are in a positive healthy state, tranquility is easy to find. When they go sour, stress, depression and even physical fatigue can result. Because it’s so important to foster our relationships with those with whom we care most about, our VIPs, we should purposely place a higher priority on them.

Author Gary Chapman makes a very pivotal point for relationships when he writes, “When your spouse’s emotional needs are met and he or she feels secure in your love, the whole world looks bright and your spouse will move out to reach his or her highest potential in life.” Right then, it hit me: It’s not just enough to think about how much I love my most valuable players in life, I have to make sure and tell them.  It’s a daily decision to often put the emotional needs of my spouse, children, mom, dad, sister, nephews and best friends before my own.

There’s a healthy way to love, to be loved, and to be intimate.  Quality relationships require patience, consistency and attention. Too many times, because the rest of life wears us out, we just don’t have the energy to put toward the commitment. In reality, you’re likely going to have to rearrange schedules, drop some activities and not commit to so many other things that keep you from putting your full energy into your family and other significant relationships. Studies have shown 85% of our joy comes from our nourishing relationships.

Ask yourself this after a conversation with your fav peeps: “Did I make that person feel better or worse about themselves about their life?” After all, people are already besieged by doubt and surrounded by negativity that can affect us profoundly on an emotional level. One of my top goals is to make certain that after every VIP conversation, the people I love, admire, and respect feel more confident about their situation; about their life. As we head toward a very chaotic (that at times makes us neurotic) holiday season, make a concerted effort to spend quality time with your loved ones and it will fill your emotional tank and your heart!  This is exactly the reason why I try to spend as much time with this girl as possible!

Abraham Lincoln said it poignantly, “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” Amen, Abe!

Let’s start putting some life back in YOUR years by spending quality time, appreciate and love your VIPs with all of your heart and soul.

Today’s “Pruning” post is from Brad Ruggles. I have followed (gosh, sometimes that sounds so creepy) Brad for quite awhile, but finally met him last year at the Blogger’s Meetup before Catalyst (which he graciously organizes). Brad is one of the guys that has both passion and talent and uses is them to make a difference in world. I have nothing but respect for him and his wife, Lisa.

Find Brad’s blog here.

And his twitter here.

Lindsey asked me and a few other bloggers to guest-post on her blog on the subject of intentionally cutting back in life. I told her that in all honesty, I really don’t have things figured out in this area. I still struggle with finding the right balance between work and family time. I constantly battle with the desire to do more work for God instead of spending more time with God (sounds like the premise for a good book to me).

God is definitely still working on me in this area but I can say this – I’m better now than I used to be.

My Crash And Burn Story

My own story of forced “pruning” happened about a year ago, although the circumstances that led up to my crash actually took place in the year or two before. I was on staff at a great church doing something I loved – actually several things I loved. I was an expert at wearing and changing hats. The problem was that I loved the hats I wore and had a hard time taking them off. My wife kept asking when I was going to cut back and, of course, I kept saying, “Soon. Let me just get through the next couple of weeks.”

For a serial over-committer, weeks can turn into months before we know it. I was pushing myself and my schedule to the limit and loving every minute of it.

It took God moving me down to a new city to slow me down enough to listen to the people around me. It wasn’t more than 6 months after we moved down to Indianapolis that the crash happened. For the first time in many years I didn’t have the hectic schedule of ministry or the constant string of commitments so my body had a chance to slow down. It was kind of like that feeling you have after rollerskating for a couple of hours (hey, I’m a product of the 80s!). Once you take the roller skates off and try walking you find that you keep wanting to push off with your feet even though there are no wheels on your shoe.
My health and energy went downhill. I went to a Doctor and found out that I had a condition known as Adrenal Fatigue. My cortisol and hormone levels were all out of whack. The way my doctor explained it to me, I had operated on overdrive for so long that I burned out my adrenal glands sending my energy level down the drain.

Recovering Commitment Junkie

I began a journey to recovery that was long and slow.

God used that time in my life to adjust my priorities. I finally learned a lesson many workaholics and church-rockstar-wannabees try to ignore: when we keep ourselves too busy in life and ministry, we squeeze out any margins God has to work in. The truth is, I liked being busy because it made me feel more important. It did something for my ego to know that there were people and projects out there that needed me.

So now, I’m a recovering commitment junkie. I definitely don’t have this figured out but I’m getting better at recognizing the burnout warning signs and listening to the people God put in my life.

It’s not easy. In our increasingly connected society we’re bombarded every day with everyone’s accomplishments on Twitter, Facebook or blogs. That constant barrage of “Look what I’m doing!” begins to make us think  we should be doing more. Our culture shines a spotlight on busy people. No one ever won an Oscar for taking the year off.

One of the things I learned is that God puts people in our lives to let us know when we’re pushing too hard or stretching ourselves too thin. Those people are in your life right now whether you know it or not. You might not be listening to them but they’re there. The biggest advocates for down-time is your life may be your wife or family but it might also be your friend, counselor or parents.

We all have someone who has looked us in the eye at some point and asked us, “Are you doing ok? You look a little stressed out.” If you’re like me, you probably are good at making up some kind of excuse about why you’re tired or how things will ease up once you get this next project finished. The truth is, we’re lying to them and, worst of all, we’re lying to ourselves.

Still Waters

I don’t know if you can relate to any part of my story. I hope not. Hopefully you’re able to manage your schedule better than I did. I hope you’ve learned how to say no and not over-commit yourself. But chances are many of you have been where I was. Maybe your body hasn’t suffered because of it (yet) but you’ve been there. You’ve tiptoed on the tight-rope of overcommitment and flirted with burnout.

Can I just challenge you to step back and examine your life right now? If you’re so busy that you have a difficult time finding margins you might want to ask yourself why you’re running so fast. You could be that little hamster running like mad on his little wheel but going nowhere. Give yourself permission to step off the hamster wheel and slow down. Follow the example of our Savior and set aside intentional times to recharge (Matt. 14:22-23, Mk. 6:30-32). Don’t put it off, set aside that time right now. Pencil it in your calendar and ask  your friend or spouse to hold you accountable.

Our God promises rest for the weary and restoration for the burned out. He is the good shepherd that leads his sheep into times of rest beside the still waters. Let him breathe new life into your weary soul today.

Are you a commitment junkie? How do you manage your time to keep healthy margins in life?

Today’s “Pruning” post is from Amanda Moore Jones. Amanda traveled with me to Guatemala on the Compassion Bloggers trip in September. We had an immediate connection over authentic Tex-Mex and J.D.’s Chippery cookies, and a forever connection after stepping out of our comfort zones together. Amanda has a gentle spirit but at first encounter you will realize that she fiercely fights for her beliefs, and her loved ones. So honored to have her share her heart here.

Find Amanda’s blog here.

And her twitter here.

We have a TV in our house that we jokingly call “The Precious.” When we moved into our home two-and-a-half years ago, I was really excited about getting a desk for my new home office, upgrading to a king-size bed, and finally having legit dining table.

My husband could not have cared less about all of that. The one thing he wanted was a high definition TV. As soon as the dust settled from the movers dropping off our boxes, we jumped in the car and drove straight to Costco to get our new TV.

Curtis had big dreams for watching March Madness and his beloved Duke Blue Devils on the new flat-screen. And we couldn’t wait to watch our Thursday night comedies nestled on the couch in its shadow. We had always loved watching TV together and this would be the ultimate!

When Hurricane Ike loomed in the Gulf of Mexico and our city was expected to take a direct hit, I got my husband to board up our large living room windows by saying, “But what about The Precious?” Thankfully, the worst thing that happened to our property was that our neighbor’s roof and tree shed shingles and leaves into our yard. The Precious was spared!

It’s been two years since Hurricane Ike hit Houston. There aren’t many traces of it left around these parts, but there are some major signs that Hurricane God’s-Pruning-Shears just blew through. And this time The Precious wasn’t spared.

We have known for a while that our love for The Precious was keeping us from the fullness of Christ. It sucked a lot of time that could have been better spent, but more importantly, the things we loved to watch on it were quenching the Holy Spirit in us. And it seemed to get worse with every episode. We countered feelings of conviction with denial, excuses, and constantly saying “I swear I will never watch this show again” and not following through. God was trying to take us from glory to glory (2 Corinthians 3:18) while we fed ourselves shows that displayed ever-increasing wickedness (Romans 6:19).

About a month ago I had one of the most fulfilling days of my life. I’d gone to a prayer gathering that night and afterward had been given some very encouraging news. I was so excited about what God was doing in my life. When I got home, I flipped to my favorite show on the DVR. Within three minutes I was faced with the most offensive thing I’ve ever seen on TV. I turned it off immediately. I’m done! I am no longer supporting this show, I thought. The same thing had happened the week before and I was just so bummed. As strongly as I felt in that moment, it only took about three minutes to talk myself back out of it. I watched the rest of the show and went to bed.

Maybe you can guess how I felt the next day. Defeated? Yes. Sick? Yes. Sad that I had quenched the Holy Spirit after such an incredible day of fellowship with Him? Definitely. The Lord has delivered me from much worse bondage than this battle with the TV. We have worked hard on some things. Was I really going to continue letting something as meaningless as entertainment limit His work in my life?

That day He gave me the grace to say no. No, I will not exchange intimacy with Christ for my favorite TV shows. I told my husband I thought we should get rid of the TV and, holy cow, he agreed! Ten minutes later he was on the phone with our cable company canceling everything. For whatever reason, in our home we can’t just plug in the TV and get the basic channels either. TV was gone.

There were some things we didn’t think through at the time – like March Madness. I still don’t know what we’ll do when Duke plays. I guess that’s what friends are for. Also, I’m a mom and I know there are times when I’ll need to pop in a DVD for the kids. For that reason, The Precious is still in our living room. But its power over our life and our walk with God is broken.

Please do not hear me saying that I think everyone needs to ditch their TV. It’s because we are weak, weak people that we had to go to this extreme. Stronger people can make better decisions in the moment. Maybe we will get to that place and be able to watch TV in our home again one day. God knows if that will ever happen.

We have been incredibly blessed during this pruning season. After the kids go to bed – get this – my husband and I actually talk! It’s not just chit chat and family management conversations, but meaningful discussions. I’m also on my third book in a month, which is saying a lot for me. I finally braved my first visit to the library with my preschooler and my toddler and we’ve been back many times since then. My son is learning how to read and I’m fully engaged with him in it. Spiritually, we are no longer trapped in the ugly cycle of laughing at something one night and then having to confess it to God the next day. The freedom is so refreshing.

Honestly, there are days and nights when it’s hard and we miss being able to just veg in front of the TV. But it’s actually been much less of a sacrifice than I thought. The fruit that resulted from the pruning tastes good. Very good. And I’m thankful.

Have you pruned any distractions like The Precious? Did you find the pruning lead to more fruitfulness?

Today’s “Pruning” post is from Justin Davis. Justin, his wife Trisha, and their three boys are such a blessing to me. They are a living testament to how God restores and redeems our brokenness. Through their ministry at Cross Point Bellevue and Refine Us, they teach others (like me) the power of authenticity, truth, and grace.

Find their blog here.

And Justin’s twitter here.

I’ve been a Christian long enough to know that you never arrive. I’ve also been a Christian long enough to know how easy it is to have a sense of arriving. There is a tendency in all of us to think that our relationship with God has arrived. It’s not that we think we are done growing, it is a sense that we don’t think we need to grow anymore.

This isn’t something we would articulate to anyone, it is this feeling we have inside as we go to church; compare ourselves to others; evaluate where we are now compared to where we were 3 years ago. It is easy to have a sense of “I’m good. I’ve arrived.”

I guess to some extent, that is the season I’ve been in. My marriage is better than it ever has been. My relationship with God has a nice rhythm. I’m being intentional about developing my relationship with my boys. I have good friends that I enjoy spending time with. God has blessed me richly to give me a second chance in ministry.  I didn’t even realize how much I was struggling until about a month ago. Our family was on vacation in Florida, and Trisha and I just started to read together The Me I Want to Be, by John Ortberg. I had heard so many good things about it, that I was a little nervous that it wouldn’t live up to the hype for me. Be careful what you wish for.

After reading the first chapter, Trisha and I were sitting at the table talking and she said to me, “The first chapter is you, right now. You know that right?” Tears started streaming down my face. I knew that the life I was living wasn’t the life that God had in mind for me. I had a diminished sense of joy and peace in my life, and I didn’t know why. I said, “I’m not the me I want to be.”

We continued reading and at one point, I said, “I just feel like crying. I feel like mourning the life I pretended to have.” She said she wouldn’t think I was crazy if I just cried. So I did…for a while.

Through some very grace-filled, heart-felt conversations that week, I realized that I had not dealt fully with my parents divorce last year. I had not processed and mourned the news I was given last year that the man I thought was my dad, wasn’t and I was adopted. I wasn’t pursuing deep, meaningful friendships in a way that brought life to my heart.

God is not done with me. I have not arrived. I am in a season of pruning. I am in a season of refining. I am in a season of preparation. I’ve come to understand that God uses pruning and refining in our lives to prepare our hearts, our faith, our minds for a renewed call and responsibility. It is our choice to engage it or not.

In the past, I had been more than willing to embrace the expanded call and responsibility, without embracing the pruning and refining. What happened as a result was I had more responsibility than my character could withstand. I pretended for a while, but eventually imploded.

In this season, I am giving God full reign. Peel back every layer. Uncover every hurt. Walk me through every flaw. I surrender to the pruning. I want to become the me HE wants me to be. Not arriving has never felt so good.

Are you content in not arriving?

My Catalyst 3DM coaching group is studying Building a Discipling Culture by Mike Been and Steve Cockram and has spent the last few weeks talking about rhythms and pruning. I have found our discussions around pruning particularly enlightening.

Here is what the huddle guide has to say on the topic.

“Bearing fruit is the most natural thing in the world for a branch. It doesn’t do it by straining to push out a grape. Looking at our lives, however, it would seem like producing fruit – making disciples – is strenuous. If fruit-bearing is not coming naturally in our lives, could it be that we have not spent the proper season abiding? Could it be that we have become overgrown branches, too weak to support a single grape, let alone a bunch?

Pruning is not the fun part of life. You can often recognize pruning as a painful, stressful, or challenging time – but if a grapevine is not pruned regularly, the branches grow spindly and weak. The branches need abiding time to gain strength for the growing season. Pruning is not always a sign of God’s discipline. Sometimes even healthy growth must be trimmed in order to make room for future growth.“

The book is right. Pruning is not fun. It can be painful, stressful, and challenging.

I, for one, am terrible at it. Terrible. At. It.

I am over-committed. My life is busting at the seams, and not only do I not have any room for future growth, but I often find myself tired, cranky, and a little burnt out. I am in a season where pruning is critical.

So this week I’ve asked a handful friends to share their thoughts on where they’ve been called to cut back. I sure hope you enjoy their perspectives. And if you, like me, find yourself needing some pruning, I hope this be a catalyst for change in your life.

Is there an area of your life where you are feeling called to prune?

Christmas is just around the corner. Literally 45 days and counting….

(Where exactly does time go?)

And now is the time to be downloading Christmas music so that you can start feeling all festive.

I need to know. What Christmas album and/or song do you consider required listening?

Here are mine, don’t judge.

Album: Kenny and Dolly’s “Once Upon Christmas”

Song: Wham’s “Last Christmas”

I told you not to judge. But if you couldn’t help yourself, please know that I love the ones that actually talk about the arrival of Christ too but there is something about these that take me back. Way back.

Oh, and if you are looking for something new to add to your music library, you should check out “The Essential Christmas Collection” with songs from Tenth Avenue North, Third Day, Matt Maher, Jars of Clay and many others. It is fantastic. Fantastic.

My first Catalyst experience was at Catalyst One Day in the spring of 2009. I obviously enjoyed it, as I have now been to 3 of their other events. Below is a post I wrote about that experience, “Making An Investment in Myself.”

Last Thursday, I attended Catalyst One Day with some folks from Cross Point. I was desperate to get out of the office, network, and have some professional leadership training. And Catalyst One Day was an investment I could afford to make in myself. And I am so glad I did!

Here are just a couple of reasons why:

1. I learned so much from Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel. They both are excellent communicators.

The focus of the day was Momentum – something we all need to manufacture in these tough economic times. Here are just a few of the nuggets I walked away with:

• Momentum is NEVER triggered by tweaking something old. It is triggered by introducing something new.
• To reach more by doing less, you must focus on what no one else is doing — how can you reach the people that no one else is reaching? You must refuse to keep doing things based on false assumptions.
• Innovation is born out of limitation. Remember, if you have what you want, you might not see what you need.
• It is important to be more committed to your mission/vision than your tactics. “Don’t fall in love with a tactic and defend it forever. Instead decide once and for all if you are in market or not.” Seth Godin, The Dip
• Do the unthinkable. “If we got kicked out and the board brought in a new CEO, what would he or she do? Why shouldn’t we walk out the door, come back in, and do it ourselves?” Andy Grove, Only the Paranoid Survive

2. I had a wonderful time interacting with new friends. I love meeting new people, but I often get stuck in my comfort zone and don’t put myself out there. I made the trip with Jenni Catron, the Executive Director of Cross Point, and her little sister, Jessica. Our trip together was the perfect way to get to know them both on a deeper level.

Have you made any real investments in yourself lately?

If you live in Phoenix this might be just the opportunity for you…

Catalyst One Day is coming to Phoenix! Next Thursday, November 18 at Christ’s Church of the Valley in Phoenix, Arizona. Join Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel for a one day leadership event focusing on the topic of Momentum. How to create it, how to sustain it, and how to implement systems and tactics in your organization that will fuel momentum on a continual basis. This practical leadership experience includes Q and A, dynamic worship and music, and a full day of practical insight from two of the principal voices on leadership in the Church today.

Visit www.catalystoneday.com to register to attend. Use special Rate Code ONEDAYAZ to receive a discounted ticket price of $99.

And Florida Folks, be sure to mark your calendars, there is a One Day for you in February…