You probably know this already but I grew up in Texas. In Dallas, Texas to be exact. And yes, I am one of those obnoxious people that truly believes that things are ALWAYS bigger and OFTEN TIMES better in Texas – cases in point: the state fair, hair, food portions, and even churches.

This year one of my favorite things is coming to Dallas for the first time.

May 11 – 13 the Catalyst Conference will be in Dallas. Attend and you can hear from leadership authorities including Andy Stanley, Matt Chandler, David Platt, Christine Caine, Donald Miller and Craig Groeschel , along with several innovative thinkers and practitioners like hip hop legend Rev Run, best-selling author Scott Belsky, International Justice Mission founder Gary Haugen, long-time activist Dr. John Perkins, ESPY winner Scotty Smiley, and charity: water founder Scott Harrison.

And be sure to get there on Wednesday to catch Catalyst Labs featuring innovative thought leaders like Michael Hyatt (my extraordinary boss and Thomas Nelson CEO), Mark Batterson, Scot McKnight, Mike Foster, David Kinnaman, Samuel Rodriguez, Esther Havens, Shaun King, Anne Jackson, Gayle Haggard, Jon Acuff, Lecrae, Margaret Feinberg, Chris Seay, Vicky Beeching, Eugene Cho and others.

Catalyst Dallas 2011 Preview from Catalyst on Vimeo.

The early bird deadline for registration is THIS THURSDAY so be sure to register before then. Oh, and you can use the RATE CODE FOB and save an additional 15% off your ticket prices.

What’s your favorite thing about Texas?

Mine: Easy. The food. Tex-Mex, hamburgers, chicken fried whatever…it all tastes better in Texas.

A couple of weeks ago, I sat across the table from a friend, pushed my barbecue chicken chopped salad around on my plate, and shared one of my greatest fears.

“I am just worried that life, that my circumstances, that my singleness, will make me bitter. I am terrified of becoming a bitter old woman.”

“You won’t. It’s just not you,” he reassured me.

But this morning as I sat and listened to two of my closest friends share on forgiveness, I realized how quickly and completely bitterness had crept into my world and begun to poison my heart.

I justified my grief, my anger, even my unforgiveness.

I was right. They were wrong. The apology was incomplete. I was still suffering. They were moving on.

I hadn’t for a minute realized that the resentment I was harboring was only poisoning one person. It was only poisoning me.

So today I am doing what it takes to make it right.

Today I am choosing forgiveness.

I might be broken. But at least I am free.

Are you choosing brokenness or living with bitterness?

I love to travel.

I come by it naturally, my parents passed along a serious case of wanderlust to me and my sister.

I love adventure. I love meeting people. I love seeing the world. I love experiencing different places and cultures. And I love trying exotic cuisines, unfamiliar restaurants.

I love the fresh perspective a trip brings. I love that when my travels are over I get to return to the best place of all, home. And I love that traveling is about soaking up life instead of simply getting it done.

Traveling brings out the best in me.

If only I LIVED more like I TRAVELED.

If only I put careful consideration into each of my companions.

If only I invested my time and my resources more selectively.

If only I relaxed, took deep breaths, savored each bite.

If only I concentrated on taking care of myself, getting adequate rest and exercise.

If only I focused on being present in the present, instead of worrying about the past and the future.

If only I sought out beauty, if I paused to smell the roses and watch the sun set.

If only I stepped out of my comfort zone and conquered my fears.

If only I ceased every opportunity to make a memory.

If only I spent less time making plans and more time trusting in the Lord to direct my path.

If only I remembered that this is not my home, that a beautiful Heaven beckons.

If only I realized that this life is not about the destination, but about the journey.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Today I am guest posting over at Deeper Story, Tales of Christ and Culture. It is an incredible collection of intimate stories from some of my favorite bloggers. Go check it out, and get lost. I am honored that they are allowing me to share from time to time.

A couple of months ago at the encouragement of some dear friends, I started seeing a counselor. In seasons past, I have gone to talk through a particular issue, to get unstuck, to patch up the tears in my heart. This was different. There were no major problems. My life was fine. I just wanted to better understand how I see myself. Because perhaps deep down there are some lies that I tell myself about who I am and what I can do. Lies that hold me back.

But as these things go, as you will read in my story, issues quickly arose. And even though it might not always be fun, it is always a gift. I feel so fortunate have a safe place to process. A safe place without expectation, without pretense, without judgment.

I woke up with so many excuses. The roads were still slick from Wednesday ‘s snow. I hadn’t been in the office since Monday. I had a handful of safe friends who lent an ear, and an opinion or two, as I recounted backwards and forwards my latest dilemma. I was talked out. And most importantly, I was fine.

I texted her hoping to give her the out I so desperately wanted.

“Are we still on for this morning?”

Click here to read the rest of the post.

Do you go to a counselor? How have they impacted you?

Why personalization?
Life is too short to see a static website.

But trust is fleeting. Only need to violate once.

Keys to Appropriate Personalization
1. Clear expectations.
2. Clear pathway to why and how.
3. Clear controls to turn-off.

I have been in Austin for South by Southwest (SXSW or “South By” as everyone seems to call it) since Saturday evening. Most people think of SXSW as a musical festival but over the last decade it has also become known for its gathering of filmmakers and well…geeks. The Interactive portion of SXSW lasts for 5 days. And it is a passionate gathering where people from all over the world gather to talk emerging technologies, enjoy Austin and geek out.

Here are my notes from a handful of the sessions I caught on Sunday:

(I’ll be posting the remainder of my notes tomorrow.)

Speaker: Tim Ferriss, author of The 4 Hour Body

Tim Ferriss is a fascinating fellow. He just thinks differently. I loved hearing his story behind The 4 Hour Body. He is certainly not afraid to get in the trenches and figure out a solution to a problem.

Tim’s 4 Rules of Behavioral Change…
1. Make it conscious.
2. Make it a game. And frame it so you can win.
3. Make it competitive. Use fear, shame & embarrassment to your advantage.
4. Make it small and temporary.

Keynote: Christopher Poole, 4 Chan

You are probably wondering what 4Chan is? That’s what I was wondering. (And be warned before you go about Googling it, the site contains some very explicit images.)

4Chan is the largest English imageboard on the web.

Two notable things about 4Chan are:
1. People post anonymously. Poole believes that anonymity breads true authenticity or unvarnished truth and it gives people freedom to fail.
2. There is no archive. Poole called 4Chan “a constant waterfall of content” and said that since only that which generates interest and conversation sticks around it is “survival of the fittest for ideas.”

I can’t help but wonder if sites like this encourage us to be the most primal versions of ourselves. Not sure that is the kind of authenticity we are after?

What have you been up to?

React the way you expect me to when my world is crashing in.

Pour anything into you because my tank is registering “empty.”

Say what you need to hear because it would be a bold-faced lie.

Take care of you and sacrifice taking care of me.

Keep up this non-stop pace of obligations when I am so desperate for some much needed restoration.

I sure hope you can find some grace to forgive me, while I struggle to just…be.

And if not, that’s okay too.

But you should know that the people-pleaser in me has finally decided to admit defeat.

I fear if I keep at it, this game will ruin me.

Your turn. Fill in the blank. I’m sorry I just can’t…

Listening to the myriad of speakers at Idea Camp expounding on Orphan Care, I was struck by the fact that we live in a fallen world. An ugly, broken, fallen, world. And even the best of intentions can be distorted into well, evil.

It breaks my heart. Really.

Before Idea Camp I over-simplified the problem and the solutions.

There are under-resourced kids desperate for parental care. And there are over-resourced people who want to expand their families and follow God’s not so subtle commandment to look after the orphans. We just need to implement system that is a win-win. A system that matches the haves and the have-nots. And remove all that sticky-red-tape.

But sadly it is not that simple.

We are too used to getting what we want, when we want it, in just the right package. Money exchanges hands. Children are plucked out of their homelands to start a new life.

Sometimes beauty is made from ashes. But, the alarming reality is that, sometimes families are not just created in the process, families are broken.

There are difficult questions the Church needs to be asking about how we ethically “do” adoption (I do wholeheartedly believe in adoption) and other forms of orphan care, about how we help without hurting, and about how we leave everyone we encounter confident in the the hope of the Gospel.

We must refuse to accept ignorance because it is easier, because it is more convenient, and because we are afraid of what answers we will unearth. Our efforts on behalf of the orphans need to be clothed in knowledge and in Truth.

I left Northwest Arkansas with more questions, more ambiguity, and more confusion, than I had when I arrived. But I also left with an ignited passion to learn everything I can about how I can best serve this important group of children that God loves so fervently. I consider myself blessed to have been a part of such an incredible event, and of such an open and raw conversation.

Did you attend or follow along with Idea Camp: Orphan Care? What were some of your takeaways?

So, I’m sorry. Really sorry. I STILL owe you a post on my ever-evolving thoughts on Orphan Care. Tuesday, I promise. My only excuse is that I got about half way through a draft and then got sucked into the craziness that is Catalyst West.

Orange County was absolutely beautiful. I ate In-N-Out Burger twice. The speakers were wonderfully challenging. I met several new friends and reunited with a ton of old ones. Catalyst West is definitely worth the trip.

Oh, and I had the opportunity to sit down with Bianca Juarez and Brian Wurzell on Catalyst Backstage and talk about…well, I will let you watch and see for yourself. Stick with it and you will see me go from winter white to a brilliant shade of red.

Click here to watch.

Were you at Catalyst West or did you watch along online? If so, what were your highlights?

Making my way towards California for Catalyst West and have finally found the first quiet time to begin to process, to deconstruct, everything I took in at Idea Camp: Orphan Care. What an incredible couple of days. I’m so glad I followed God’s nudging and ventured out to Northwest Arkansas (which surprisingly is a pretty incredible place).

I stayed with Amber and Seth Haines because they offered, and I have learned my favorite part of traveling and attending conferences is the relationships I bring home with me.  There is no better way to get to KNOW friends than being fully immersed in their lives. I loved waking up each morning and to non-stop questions from the 3 Haines boys. It took about a minute for them to steal my heart. Sadly the answer to “Lindsey, do you know what?” and “did you know?” always seemed to be “no.” But I left Saturday well-versed in all things Star Wars, Shrek 3, and even learned the difference between dying and “passing away”. You can’t get that kind of knowledge at a hotel!

And the conference, well, the conference was thought-provoking, mind-blowing, and perfectly overwhelming.

I went in looking for answers. (I always go in looking for answers.)

What are the different ways individuals can get involved with Orphan Care?

How can God use me to make a difference?

And even…Could I, should I, adopt a child…someday?

But left knowing only one thing for sure.

Conferences are not the place to go looking for answers. They are the place to go to encounter new people, to explore new ideas, and to stretch your preconceived notions.

When in search of answers, I need to look inside myself and to God and reconnect with who I am and where God is leading me.

In one rare moment of quiet and clarity, I heard God say, “Do the work. Figure it out. It’s all there. Dig for it.”

So that’s where I am.

Working, figuring, digging.

Are you like me and tend to look anywhere, everywhere, for answers that only God holds?

And for those who are interested in learning more about orphan care, tomorrow I will share my thoughts on what I heard from the experts who are in the trenches caring for orphans.