I’m Sorry I Just Can’t…

React the way you expect me to when my world is crashing in.

Pour anything into you because my tank is registering “empty.”

Say what you need to hear because it would be a bold-faced lie.

Take care of you and sacrifice taking care of me.

Keep up this non-stop pace of obligations when I am so desperate for some much needed restoration.

 

I sure hope you can find some grace to forgive me, while I struggle to just…be.

And if not, that’s okay too.

But you should know that the people-pleaser in me has finally decided to admit defeat.

I fear if I keep at it, this game will ruin me.

Your turn. Fill in the blank. I’m sorry I just can’t…

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club. She spends her days (and some nights) laboring to end childhood hunger at Feed the Children and to gather, equip and unleash women at IF:Gathering.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • keep calling and calling and calling hoping that you will give me a chance.
    Tired of being the person that has to always call and never get a return call.

    It is one thing to expect me to help you out and in turn you will lend me your time and ear for some mentoring, it is another when you are just using me to promote your brand and name….I’m sorry I just can’t.

    Ahhhh, now that feels much better

    • gosh, kyle, i am sorry. you so deserve more than that. hopefully i am not the person who needed to say that to you.

  • I’m sorry I just can’t……do what the world expects me do because it goes against what God expects me to do.

  • Keep supporting you while weakening myself to the point of collapse.

  • I can’t….take any more of your pressure. I’m done with it. The managing, the expectations, the building. I put enough on myself. More than you can imagine. I don’t need your second-guesses. I don’t need your questioning. I don’t need your voice to have a tone of failure towards me.

    I’m done with it.

  • I don’t think I have anything on my “can’t” list.

    But I have encyclopedias’ worth under “don’t want to.”

  • Oh Lindsey..I know exactly what you mean so I’m going to throw a big ME TOO out here. I recently had to say these things to my mother. My mother!! …who is a great mom, would give her last breath for me and would do anything for me…and it was so hard! She was at my house helping me out with some things and it was a low day for me. A low day for no good reason. Just a day that I was sad and i started crying and I know that she just didn’t know what to do, because she’s just never been where I am at. She just wants me to be okay. I know it kills her to see me like that and I don’t want her to have to see me like that, so I normally don’t let her see me like that. But that day, I couldn’t take care of her. I had to cry in front of her because the tears just wouldn’t stop. She mentioned anti-depressants, and not that I have anything against them at all because I don’t, but I had to tell her, “please just stop talking, I can’t just be okay because you need me to be okay. No pill is going to fix my broken heart, the healing takes time.”

    Boundaries…they are so important…Jesus had them and so should we. Take care of yourself. We can’t be the servants we are created to be if we are tired and run down and completely poured out until we are bone dry… Go get a big drink and rest! I’m proud of you.

    • allison…i know exactly what you are talking about. it’s hard when people want us to be okay…

  • Jo

    I’m sorry, I just can’t bear your negative outlook for my life. It’s hard enough to stay motivated as it is.

  • I’m sorry I just can’t…keep pretending things are fine the way they are. But I will because I haven’t learned not to yet.

    • ugh, sorry…that’s a tough one…

    • I feel you Anita! I struggle with the same thing. I tell myself I don’t want to be a burden, or a downer, that there are people worse off… But in reality, I’m beginning to see that it is my way of protecting myself. Of staying away from deep relationships that have the potential to hurt me.

  • I’m sorry I just can’t sacrifice excellence in my role as wife and mother to meet every need you want me to.

    I’m sorry I just can’t agree that God’s okay with whatever makes you happy, particularly when what you say makes you happy is contrary to the word of God.

    (I’m not sorry at all, though, that life has calmed down more so that I can comment here once again! :))

    • glad you had time to add to the conversation…good stuff…

  • (I love you, Linds.)

  • Anonymous

    Hang in there Lindsey.

    light gives hope
    for all to see
    endless grace
    for you and me….

  • Joshua B Young

    I’m NOT sorry that I can’t be Jesus to you.

    He’s so much better.

  • Jacky Fig

    Wow!! Truly powerful. This is so true for me as well in this season. Ill be praying for you sweet friend.

  • heather

    keep crying … it really makes me mad!
    keep holding things together with dental floss… i don’t even like dentists.
    keep burying what i really want to say.
    keep all this stuff…i need to be free of YOUR idol of things…

  • Hannah Borcherdt

    I could have written this…

    “I sure hope you can find some grace to forgive me, while I struggle to just…be.”

    I’m struggling to just “be” right now. Struggling to get through my obligations and burdens and battles — mostly my parent’s looming divorce or at the least separation. It’s especially hard when others lay down their expectations and demand that I carry those too. I’m wishing they would just accept me as I am and take this one day at a time with me. That in itself is a struggle.

  • i’m sorry i just can’t…..

    take pictures when i am not in the mood and teary eyed

    shake this feeling today

    go there again

    stop talking, missing, crying over africa.

  • I’m sorry I just can’t…..understand why we can’t fight harder for this. We can. You are worth the fight.

  • No need to apologize. Thankful to know this is where you are and thankful to know how to better pray for you.

    I’m sorry, I just can’t do casual relationships. I’m in it…all in it.
    I’m sorry, I just can’t spend my words and time on the fluff. I’m in it…all in it.
    I’m sorry, I just can’t pretend the hard things aren’t there to preserve your comfort. I’m in it…all in it…and you should be, too.

    (The “you” in those statements are general yous, not directed at Lindsey.) 🙂

    • I’m someone who is all in it too…I’ve had to make that apology lately. No fun.

  • Jo

    My first visit to this blog…WOW!

    I feel it. I say it all in my head while I look into eyes that see exactly what they want to see.

    And yet, I end up saying by my words or actions
    what they want to hear
    or what will keep things moving forward
    or what will keep peace within the team
    or what will build someone else up
    or what will make someone else’s job easier while making mine harder
    or what I hope will cause you to appreciate me
    but it never seems to accomplish that.

    What I really want to say but don’t have the courage is WHAT YOU SAID so well in this post. Maybe some day I will say it aloud…or blog it. Thank you.

  • Makeda

    ….keep feeling one thing in my heart and saying the complete opposite with my mouth. It is getting exhausting pretending everything is okay when it is not. So I too have decided to just declare that I can’t do it anymore. Thanks for sharing!

  • “I sure hope you can find some grace to forgive me, while I struggle to just…be.”

    From one people-pleaser to another…thank you for writing this. It helps me to take a deep breath.

  • Wow! What a courageous post! From one recovering people pleaser to another, I pray you find a space for rest and nourishment. May you take long, luxurious breaths. May you rest in the assurance that God will use the unfilled places in the lives of those you have “failed” to reveal Himself to them. And perhaps that is the greatest gift we can give to those we love, after all.

  • My life changed when I decided to focus on God and His absolute love rather than worry about what other people think of me. I constantly ask God for the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom that I need to relate to those around me in love and to insert positive words and actions into their lives.

  • One of my favorite quotes related to this is from Bilbo Baggins. “I feel like butter spread over too much bread.”

  • Brandon

    I’m Sorry I Just Can’t… allow myself to feel what You want me to feel…it scares me.

    Lindsey, I will be praying that this weekend you will find time to simply rest in the shadow of His wings.

  • I’m sorry. I just can’t …
    laugh at your jokes when they aren’t funny to me.
    hold your hand when the rage wants to be.
    kiss and you tell you it will be alright.
    snuggle up close when we are in a fight.
    listen to the complaints that irritate my soul.
    be someone I’m not while trying to be whole.
    take the blame for things I have not done.
    wrestle my weakness and say I have won.

  • Pingback: Favourite Links Friday: 9 fantastic posts to check out! | Shooting the Breeze()

  • I’m sorry I just can’t make it to your ________________ party. (Pampered Chef, Scentsy, Arbonne, Mary Kay, C Prime, Cutco, you name it)

    And I don’t give an excuse. My yes is yes and my no is no.

    “Is that rude?” she asked tongue in cheek 🙂

    • Cindy, I am so with you on this. I don’t need to go somewhere and eat free food and take on guilt for not purchasing something I don’t need!!! How’s that for rude!

  • Sharon O

    Not sure what is going on but I sense an overloaded heart and spirit and I am sad for you. Please know I will pray for your situation whatever it is. God is with you and will guide you through the rough places.

  • Wow. Great post, Lindsey!

  • Jo

    A bit late to the game, but:

    I’m sorry, I just can’t bear your blame anymore.

    I’m not the cause of my health problems. I never asked for this.

    I’m not the cause of your health problems, either.

  • What a powerful and beautiful post. I loved what Allison said about boundaries. It is so true and often so hard for us to do. Jesus did and in order to be able to fulfill His work in our lives we have to have boundaries too.

  • My I can’t list resembles yours… Perhaps another way of putting it, “I’m sorry, but I can’t carry your burdens anymore…I have my own heavy heart”

  • Lindsay, sorry to be so far behind, just catching up on emails this evening, but had to leave a comment. My husband and I have a blended family of grown children and grandchildren. Since marrying 7 years ago after 20 years of being single, I wanted nothng more in my life to be one big family. Well, after 6 years of having every event, every birthday party, attending every ballgame, besides holding down a full time job, it all came out with my feelings being very hurt (words that cut like a knife from a step daughter)! As I prayed to God, He spoke to me that night that He was the only one I needed! So I quit! I please God first, my husband next, my birth kids and grandkids and what energy that is left, attend birhday parties, ballgames, and babysit when “I” want to and have time. My love for them all is no different. I learned 2 things that night. 1) I was being taekn advantage of, and 2) they are gonna love me anyway! I realized that night that we would never be one big happy family no matter how hard I tried, none of the others really wanted it that way. I was crushed, but what a relief! I realized I was not “super woman” and I was making my life miserable. I was exhausted! Pray about it, I did, I’ll be praying for you too!

  • Amy

    I’m sorry I just can’t…. figure out the help that I need.
    I’m sorry I just can’t…. feel worthy.
    I’m sorry I just can’t…. figure out how to let Jesus love me.
    I’m sorry I just can’t…. keep smiling when my world is caving in.

    • It’s hard for me too, but I hope you know Jesus loves you, even when you struggle to accept it.

  • I’m sorry, I just can’t… peel back my heart as much anymore
    I’m sorry, I just can’t… do it all.
    I’m sorry, I just can’t… can’t.

    I’m sorry, I just can’t… help but say how brave and beautiful you are, Lindsey, and how you live the Gospel and I am praying with you tonight… Rest, Lindsey, and may He gently restore…

    More love than these thin letters can hold…
    Ann

    • Ann, Thank you so much for your word of encouragement. They mean so much to me. I miss my Canadian friend. Looking forward to April in Portland.

  • Isaac Montoya

    I’m sorry I just can’t…

    Be who I have become. Because it is who you want me to be. I don’t think it is who God wants me to be and I know for sure it is not who I want to be.

    I have changed. I am changing.

    I try to make you happy. And by you, I mean the world. My confidence lies in your affirmation when it should be about God’s admiration of myself.

    I worry. A lot.

    And I wish I was a different person.

    Sadly, I can’t change in front of you. But soon, I will. When you aren’t watching. And then I will be happy.