Unglued

Oh, I’ve been unglued.

I am not proud to admit it, but it’s true.

I’ve been unglued. I’ve been unhinged. And I’ve been unable to keep my crazy under wraps.

There was the time in middle school when two teenage boys were bullying a friend and me, that I slammed my fist down on a glass tabletop to get my point across {we will not be messed with} but all they heard was the sound of table shattering.

There was the time in my early twenties {right before my sister’s big day}, that I let a little squabble elevate into an full-blown family brawl. {Thankfully no food was thrown and we both made it down the aisle later that weekend.}

And there was the time a few years back when it felt like someone ripped my heart out and pulverized it with a wooden club, that I couldn’t fake a smile if my life depended on it and floodgates the size of the Hoover Dam couldn’t slow down my raging tears.

In each instance, my emotions got the best of me. I acted out. And I felt ashamed.

But as Lysa TerKeurst explains in her new book, Unglued,

The one who holds their tongue holds the power.

My feelings are indicators, not dictators.

And … I can face things out of my control without acting out of control.

These nuggets of wisdom {and the countless others that Lysa shares in her lastest release} should be required reading for those of you, like me, who from time-to-time find themselves coming a little unglued.

So without further adieu, go here to purchase a copy of Unglued. For a couple of you lucky readers, Zondervan has generously shared 2 copies with me to giveaway.

If you would like to enter to win a copy of Unglued, just leave a comment below about a time that your emotions got the best of you and you became unglued. I will pick the 2 winners on Thursday and notify them via email.

When was the last time you became unglued? 

Unglued Blog Tour

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dog Molly, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club. She spends her days (and some nights) laboring to end childhood hunger at Feed the Children and to gather, equip and unleash women at IF:Gathering.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Monica

    There have been several times in the past month that I have come unglued, much to my shame. ..My husband got a job in another town at the end of April. . .We put our house on the market and we are waiting for it to sell in a market area that is oversaturated with homes for sale. . .Waiting is hard and hard on the emotions as we live in limbo with a 10 year old asperger’s son that I homeschool. . .not quite there but not quite in our old place either. I’d love to read this book.

    • lindseyrnobles

      I have been living in the midst of transition and feel like I am constantly teetering on the edge of ungled these days. I so get it.

  • Robyn

    I cannot even count on my two hands the number of times I have come unglued over the years. The most memorable moments were when we struggled with infertility….the shots, the tests — feeling more like an experiment and a pin cushion than a woman trying to have a baby! My wonderful husband has always been my rock when I come unglued, but I do recognize that I need to control my emotions better – for him as much as myself. I would love to read this book and get started on doing a better job of that!!

    • lindseyrnobles

      I have friends walking down this path and know that it is hard. Glad you’ve got a good solid rock to lean on.

  • ConnieH

    My work has downsized and I am now answering phones in addition to my other responsibilities. Yesterday I received an automated message from the fraud department of our corporate bank asking us to hold for an operator. They wanted to verify some banking transactions that had taken place the past few days. After being placed on hold for 7 (yes 7) minutes, an operator finally came on the line and asked me why I was calling. I hate to admit it, but I came c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y unglued!

    • lindseyrnobles

      That would drive me nuts too! And I find that the on hold music just elevates how awful being on hold is.

  • Rene

    Just yesterday, I came unglued on my 9-year old boy over some homework issues. I was trying to show him how to solve a math problem and he wouldn’t listen. He just wanted to guess the answer instead of trying to work through it and when I tried to show him the correct answer, he wanted to argue with me and I just lost it. I yelled and made him cry. I felt so bad but was also so angry at the same time. I had resolved that 3rd grade would be so much better…that we were going to make this a stellar year but we haven’t even made it through a full week yet. Ugh!

    • lindseyrnobles

      We all have those days!

  • Scoti Springfield Domeij

    My son was killed in Afghanistan on his 14th deployment nine months ago. Unexpected things trigger “grief bursts”–driving past a corner where two businesses make tombstones, not something I ever wanted standing guard over my son, leaving two huge black mascara spots on the hem of the tablecloth as I watched my friend’s daughter and father first dance at a wedding, something my son won’t do with his precious daughters, seeing a couple with their small children, never wanting my daughter-in-love to be a single mom. I stop, lean into the pain, and give myself grace.

    • lindseyrnobles

      Tears. No words. Just tears.

      Praying for you, Scoti.

    • JWolverton

      Prayers for you Scoti. I cannot imagine your grief and the difficulties you have relying on faith to get you through. God is so gracious though, that even horrible tragedies have a beautiful and bittersweet purpose in the end. I thank you and admire you for raising such a brave son that fought for our country, and for telling your story to all of us. Love in Christ

  • JWolverton

    It’s been very easy to come unglued quite a bit lately. My husband and I got married in November and although we love each other dearly, things just keep getting thrown in our faces. A week after we were married, his grandparents moved in with us. At the time, I was still in school and was taking 19 hours of classes and working full time. Between the unexpected guests and the college costs, our finances became burdened. Now that I’ve graduated and cannot find a good paying job in the area of my expertise, I am seeing just how much of a mess our finances are and we are now at the point of either losing our home or fighting like mad to keep it. It’s stressful, heartbreaking, and frustrating all at the same time. Something we fought so hard for…. and now to lose it? It’s hard to not let this play a toll on our marriage. You see, my husband’s income is MUCH lower than mine due to child support on a child from a previous marriage and insurance for our family. Although I would love to see him be able to contribute more to our family, it just isn’t pheasible at the time. He could work a second job, but that’d take time away from us and time away from he and his little boy (that visits several afternoons per week). So, I am at the point that I’d love to just walk away from it all…. just to lower the emotions… just to numb the pain for a bit. I wanna go cry on my momma’s shoulder but I can’t because I’m so ashamed of the shape we’re in. I’ve always wanted to be a mom but am faced with putting that desire aside since we can barely afford to feed ourselves. With everything as it is… I still keep looking for a way to help others. A way to give to my community. So, I pray that God will bless me with more than enough so that we can give to others. I have faith that He has a plan for me. I KNOW that He is guiding my life and I know that He has desires to give me hope and a future. I know His promises….. It’s just difficult at times to push aside the raw emotions… and focus on the bold promises He’s made.

    • lindseyrnobles

      Wow. That’s a lot. But you are right. He does have a plan. He is in control. He wants you to prosper. It might not look like you think but He does. Sometimes I find Him just waiting for me to let go. Praying for you.

      • JWolverton

        Thank you so very much for the kind words and prayer. The funny thing about it all is, the God doesn’t wait on us to let go when things are good. That’d be too simple. The true test is if we can let go when we’re trying to hold everything in place. Sometimes, a shatter can be a beautiful thing.

  • Nicole

    I went through an unexpected break up last summer after 5 years in a relationship. Senior Pastor, 2 Associate Pastors, and my secretary all left the church within the past year (which means all new people took their place & that adds a whole new dynamic…. & I took on full administrative duties for my area when we didn’t replace my secretary) My boss transitioned to a new role in the church so I took on part of his old job (so now I’m doing my full time job, my secretaries full time job & part of my old bosses job) and I got a new boss who has a new vision and a huge learning curve… and in the midst of all that my sister (who up to this point has been one of my dearest / closest people) hasn’t spoken to me since May over something really hurtful & sad that got thrown on me without any warning.. a grudge she’s apparently been holding for years that suddenly exploded.

    All that to say, It doesn’t take much for me to be undone these days. :)

    • lindseyrnobles

      Yes. That’s a lot of change. A lot of change.

  • Wanda

    I love your examples! Most of us are convinced we are the only ones to come unglued.
    Once, I lost it with my kids over putting boiled eggs in the tuna salad. I yelled at all 3 of them (who just stood there staring at my crazy) and I got so frustrated that I went to kick an exercise ball….except I had a long dress on and my leg got caught on the skirt and flipped backwards.
    They love looking back and teasing me about that one.
    EMBARRASSING!

    • lindseyrnobles

      Haha. That’s great!

  • Ashley Davis

    I’m getting married in less than a month and last week I had the mother of all meltdowns that everyone around me saw coming. I thought I had dropped my ring down the sink (but later found it wrapped up in the sheets of my bed- still have no memory of taking it off there). The tears flowed and flowed. Then when I found it, they flowed again. I think the reality that life is changing is hitting me- even though its a wonderful change, it’s still overwhelming. I’m getting married at 31, and after living by myself for years (and I’m an only child too!) I’m gaining a husband who I love dearly, but also a cat, a dog, a camo recliner and an anter collection. LOL So I’ve been a little unglued lately. But it’s not all bad.

    • lindseyrnobles

      A camo recliner, huh? Awesome.

    • lindseyrnobles

      Ashely, Email me (lindseyrnobles@gmail.com) your mailing address. And I’ll send you a copy! Congrats on the wedding and winning the book.

  • Leah D

    I have a picture, somewhere, physical proof of my unglued-ness. Me, probably 9 or 10 sitting in the middle of the snowy bushes, red faced with a full scowl. (it probably didn’t help that my own mother was taking a picture of me at that time.). I remember it being playing and sledding in the snow that turned to snowball fights that turned to snowballs down the back that turned to teasing that turned into “Whoa, relax – we’re just having fun!” and finally into the whole world is against me. It’s interesting how it’s the smallest of thoughts or lies or looks or moments that we let slip in and grow so BIG. How one moment in our lives we are going along just fine and the next we are heavy and weighted and overcome by so much feeling and fear. Excited to read more of this book – thanks for sharing, Lindsey.

    • lindseyrnobles

      I had one of those moments as a 9 or 10 year old too. It started with teasing friends in the park and turned into me feeling ganged up on.

  • Cyndi

    There are four adult women living in my home along with one baby. It is hard to find a quiet spot or an unemotional moment. I came home from work one too many days to a video game being played while a baby cried in a messy house with no dinner started and I became unglued and said so much that I shouldn’t. It did not help. I just made an upset household.

    • lindseyrnobles

      Yep. But that’s a lot to manage in one house.

  • Leslie

    I come unglued in traffic more often than I care to admit!

    • lindseyrnobles

      Haha. Me too!

  • Rhonda

    Unfortunately, my four year old seems to get the brunt of my unglued moments and boy does the GuILT set in afterwards..I am so so afraid of breaking her spirits and also causing her the same anxiety characteristic. The last time I came unglued was this afternoon as my daughter was whining and tattling ;(

    • Guest

      Oh, the tattling, that drives me nuts too. :)

    • lindseyrnobles

      Oh, the tattling, that drives me nuts too. :)

  • Marinn

    Oh, how I can relate to this! I got married last October, had my first baby
    this January and I’m completely overwhelmed. Every time I look at my baby girl’s
    face, I fall more in love. That’s the
    good part.

    Every other week my husband’s two boys from his first
    marriage are here with us. They’re
    active, full of energy kids who eat so much. Doesn’t matter how much I cook,
    they eat it up. Then, when my husband
    comes in from work, there’s not much left for him. So, he gets angry and I’m definitely
    unglued then. I’m only 23 so I really
    don’t know how to deal with these 8 and 10 year old boys. I’m living three states away from my family
    and I don’t have anyone to fall back on.
    It makes me want to cry.

    This week-end I found out my husband had an affair just
    before we got married. How did I find
    out? Well, she had my husband served with a summins for child support for her
    new baby. We can hardly support his two
    and our new baby so I can’t figure out how he can send checks to her. He also
    never told me he was carrying on with her and it has just made me unglued!

    I need this book, like right now.

    • lindseyrnobles

      Wow. That’s a lot. A lot a lot. I’m sorry.

      Send me your address (lindseyrnobles@Gmail.com) and I’ll send you a copy of the book.

      And…I’ll be praying for you.

  • Melinda

    LOL! When wasn’t I unglued?! My youngest wants to be just like her older sister. My oldest doesn’t want to have anything to do with her. Yeah, lots of bickering and fighting in our family…I’ve become good at tuning them out…almost!

    • lindseyrnobles

      Haha. I was like that for awhile with my big sister. And she just thought I was a brat. Then I became a brat. Then one day we became friends. :)

  • Laurie Hilsinger

    Do I have to pick just one moment when I came Unglued? We have what’s sweetly referred to as a “blended” family. Such a nice phrase for something so emotionally complicated and wrought with unending opportunities to come unglued. But if I had to choose just one, it would be the time I totally lost it on my youngest step-daughter. She was 13 at the time. We had just gone through a rough time with her older brother, bringing their mother, my husband’s ex, sharply into view and “into” our house. In my usual manner, as we were working through the crisis with my step-son with “the ex,” I stuffed my emotions in an effort not to make matters worse for my husband. I should expain, at this point, that I had 3 teenage step-children, plus my husband and I had a toddler. I do not recommend raising teenagers and toddlers at the same time. Back to my ugly moment of crazy, I had come home from a long day of work to find the usual chaos at home. My loving husband was making dinner but I was so wrapped up in “poor me” that I didn’t even acknowledge it. As I started to review how everyone’s day was, my step-daughter began to share the typical drama that consumes every 13 year old girl’s life. In my unhelpful, pious way, I began to berate her for making “bad” choices and perpetuating the school drama. She shot back some unkind comment to me (of course, I have no memory of exactly what was said) and I completely lost it. I screamed. I waved my arms furiously. I got in her face. I slammed her door. I left irrereperable damage in my wake. As soon as it was over, I knew how wrong I was. I talked to my husband, who extended grace to me, but gently suggested I go back and make things right. I went back to my step-daughter’s room and asked for her forgiveness. I fought back the urge to add conditions to it – you know what I’m talking about: “I’m sorry but if you hadn’t…” I simply told her I was so sorry for the way I behaved, that no one should be treated that way and would she forgive me. It was a turning point in our relationship and a step towards progress. Real progress. I’m still working on it…

    • lindseyrnobles

      It’s interesting how some of our unglued moments are vehicles for us to apologize and create a new, real-er normal.

  • http://www.tammyhelfrich.com/ Tammy Helfrich

    Great post. I look forward to reading it!

  • http://www.tammygrrrl.com/ Tammy Perlmutter

    Thank you for sharing your unglued moments, it really helps me not feel so alone. And so crazy.

  • Bianca Perez

    I’m catching up on the blogs! So, this is late… ah!!! This past Labor Day weekend i def came unglued! I have never lived in the same city as my sister, nor have we ever been close until about 5 years ago. We’ve spent the last 5 years in different cities, our relationship slowly building. Everyone tells me she’s mean, i hadn’t experienced that yet. All i knew was that we got along and we understood each other. Well, this past weekend i saw what everyone was talking about. I got the meanest text from my sister and i didn’t know how to respond.. my iphone4 flew across the room and shattered. I couldn’t believe that i did that. Where did that come from? How could i let someone, and not just someone, but my sister, make me so mad and act out like that! I was shocked and hurt. I’ve forgiven her but there’s still the conversation of what happened that needs to happen. eek! Nervous about that. I understand where you are coming from. Lindsey, i appreciate your genuniness!

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  • TJ

    Get “unglued” when machines, ie computers, etc. don’t work the way they should.

  • BJ

    Last year, my husband started on his “we should get a divorce” thing. I had grown tired of being quiet or just saying, “because we had a disagreement. I yelled, I blurted out years of frustration. I don’t think I stopped for a half hour. Embarressing to think about it.