Sometimes it is easy to overlook the progress made over a span a time. Sometimes it is easy to focus on how far I have left to go and not celebrate how far I’ve come. Sometimes it is easy to convince myself I am stuck in a rut, when in fact I am speeding down the road oblivious to all the mile markers.

With the closing of 2010, I would like to recognize some strides I have made this year. This is my own little personal progress report.

I moved into a place by myself and I bought a sweet new ride.

I finished a half marathon and I ate some incredible food to balance it out.

I invested in my Church, my community, and myself.

I gained some new responsibility and I delegated, or deleted, some “not to dos.”

I made friends who bullishly enter into hard conversations and friends who fight for me, and for what is right.

I traveled domestically and internationally and I continued to nourish my Nashville roots.

I relaxed and I served. I learned and I shared. I worked and I played.

I grappled with hard questions and I pursued divine Truth.

I stepped out in fear. And I stepped out in faith.

What are a few things you did in 2010?

My “Blueprint” series is essentially a mechanism for me to start thinking through my life goals. And as hard humiliating as it is to admit some of the things I want to achieve in life, I am trying to be painfully honest because (for some crazy reason) I feel like I need to put them “out there.”

Part 1 – I want to get married.

Part 2 – I want to get fit.

Part 3 – I want to get my hands dirty.

Part 4 - I want to cultivate deep and authentic friendships.

Part 5 – I want to have kids.

Part 6 – I want to master the art of living.

I want to be able to differentiate between want and need.

I grew up surrounded by affluence. I grew up in a community where success was too often measured by the title on your business card, the size of your bank account, the car you drove, the places you had traveled, and the street you lived on. And oh, how I loved love the privilege that came comes with my affluence.

Truth be told, I am a spoiled brat by all practical standards. I have a hard time differentiating between want and need. I have a hard time understanding how much is enough. I have a hard time giving extravagantly because I am too busy living extravagantly.

Don’t get me wrong…I give. I sponsor two children. I tithe. I step out in faith (or in reasonable faith) when my pastor asks us to think about how we can help expand the vision of our church.

But what I still haven’t managed to do, with any success, is sacrifice. I haven’t managed to stop indulging in my long list of wants – eating out, extravagant vacations, a new pair of shoes. I haven’t realized that just because I WANT something doesn’t mean that I NEED it.

My goal is that over the next year I can make some real sacrifices so I can give extravagantly, instead of selfishly living extravagantly.

My “Blueprint” series is essentially a mechanism for me to start thinking through my life goals. And as hard humiliating as it is to admit some of the things I want to achieve in life, I am trying to be painfully honest because (for some crazy reason) I feel like I need to put them “out there.”

Part 1 – I want to get married.

Part 2 – I want to get fit.

Part 3 – I want to get my hands dirty.

Part 4 - I want to cultivate deep and authentic friendships.

Part 5 – I want to have kids.

I want to master the art of living.

Master the art of living?

Yep, it’s a pretty lofty goal and candidly one I could not begin to define until I read the following quote by James Michener.

“The master in the art of living makes little distinction between his work and his play, his labor and his leisure, his mind and his body, his information and his recreation, his love and his religion. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence at whatever he does, leaving others to decide whether he is working or playing. To him he’s always doing both.”

Michener’s quote radically changed my career aspirations, my life aspirations. I no longer want to work so I can afford to play. (Let’s be honest we all work entirely too much to simply “work for the weekend.”) Instead I want to blur the lines between work and play until there is no distinction. I want to go about my business pursuing one epic story after another. I want to master the art of living.

How do you define mastering life? Does the thought of blurring the lines between work and play excite you like it excites me?

My “Blueprint” series is essentially a mechanism for me to start thinking through my life goals. And as hard humiliating as it is to admit some of the things I want to achieve in life, I am trying to be painfully honest because (for some crazy reason) I feel like I need to put them “out there.”

Part 1 – I want to get married.

Part 2 – I want to get fit.

Part 3 – I want to get my hands dirty.

Part 4 - I want to cultivate deep and authentic friendships.

And today I am tackling a biggie….

I want to have kids.

(Please remember I am not a whiny girl who is unhappy with her life, with the cards she’s been dealt. Nothing could be further from the truth. My life is full. But if I am honest, before it is all said and done, I want to raise kids, to have a family of my own.)

Candidly this goal is almost impossible to verbalize, because it seems SO FAR out of reach. I don’t feel like I have “earned” the right to want kids. I am not married. Heck, I am not even dating anyone. And I am 33.

But I am coming to terms with this very real desire. And here is how:

I am only 33. With modern science, I could have a child well into my 40s. And even though 43 seems right around the corner, it is 10 years from now. 10 years is a long time, 10 years ago I was 23, and 23 feels FOREVER ago.

I don’t need to have a little mini-me or a little mini-man. I can adopt. This was something I had never thought about until I sat in Catalyst last fall and learned about the 143 million orphans in this world. Yes, that is correct, there are 143 million orphans worldwide. Seems awfully silly that I would walk around burying my dream of being a mother, when so many kids are mother-less.  And even though this is not something I envision myself doing in the next couple of years, it is something I would like to do. So right now, I need to save, so that when I am a little older (and more mature), I am a place where it is financially feasible to adopt.

I have a lot of kids in my life that I can invest in right now. I am “Lulu” to 3 adorable nieces, to my goddaughter, and to several of my close friends’ kids. I can work to be a loving and supportive constant in their lives. I sponsor children through WorldVision and Compassion. I need to do a better job investing in Deva and Workeeb through letter writing. And I just got a “lunch buddy” through Preston Taylor ministries. Each week, I am committed to spending an hour with Jaheem. He’s got a mother, but I can be a positive adult role model and a friend.

So…who knows? Maybe someday I will have kids of my own?

All I can do with this one is trust in His plan, pray, and be prepared if when the opportunity presents itself.

Have you buried any dreams because you don’t feel like you’ve “earned” the right to want them?

These “blueprints” are prompting me to think through what I want from life. They are merely a baby step in as I begin to traverse thinking through my life plan. I have already written on wanting to get married, wanting to get my hands dirty, and wanting to get fit.

I want to cultivate deep and authentic friendships.

I know everyone probably wants this on some level. But I crave this.

I vividly remember venting to a friend last year about how many “friends” I had, but how few people I had that were truly “on my team.”

Over the last twelve months that has changed dramatically, I have been blessed with some amazing friends. But still I have work to do:

I need to scale back. I too ofen find myself sacrificing quality for quantity.

I need to invest, really invest, in every one of my “VIPs.” Because I want them to have NO DOUBT that I am “on their team.” Relentlessly rooting for them.

I need to heal deep wounds left from decades of friendships gone awry. The last thing I want to do is leave it festering. Because I believe that “hurt people, hurt people.”

And I need to work on being authentic. Even when it is tough. That is where true accountability starts.

How are you working to cultivate deep and authentic friendships?

So here we go, Part 3…I want to get my hands dirty.

It is easy for me to dream of changing the world from the comfort of my living room couch but I lately I have felt called to do more. I want to go to the ends of the earth. And I want to get my hands a little dirty.

Last week at Cross Point, Pete Wilson was preaching about LOVE as a part of our Advent series “Rhythm.” He reminded us that we are called as Christians to love our “neighbor.” (And as inconvenient as it might be our “neighbors” are not just those who are in close proximity to us or those that we find easy to love.)  He said, “we can’t love like Jesus if we are living in a chronic hurry.” (Ouch. I realized later that maybe I live in a chronic hurry so I don’t HAVE TIME to love like Jesus. Double ouch.) He concluded by encouraging us to “schedule time to love on others.”

So that’s what I’m going to do. In 2010, I am going to commit time to love on others, both in my community and across the world.

I have NO IDEA what this is going to look like. This goal still needs to be fleshed out A LOT. I only know that it has been too long since I have gone on a “mission’s trip.” And even though I am fervently hoping that Africa is in my future, I need to see where I am led.

“My faith demands -this is not optional-my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I can, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.”

Jimmy Carter as quoted in The Hole in Our Gospel

Do you have plans to get your hands dirty in 2010? Have you read The Hole in Our Gospel yet? Did it leave you wanting to love your “neighbor” differently? (If not, you should put it at the top of your Christmas list. Take my word for it, top of your Christmas list.)

In the first post, I admitted I want to get married. So today I thought I’d tackle something a little less, how do I say it, well a little less humiliating. (Kidding. Kidding. In all honesty putting the whole marriage thing out there was so worth it. You guys were incredibly supportive and encouraging.)

I want to get fit.

I don’t know that I’ve ever actually been “fit.” I have been skinny. I have been fat. I have been an obsessive exerciser. I have been an award-winning couch potato. But I don’t think I’ve ever had the balance that would truly make me fit.

So that is what I am after, fit-ness.

I know that there is going to be some pain involved in this goal. And candidly I’m not a huge fan of pain. (I hate pain. Avoid it at all costs.) But hopefully it will be worth it.

I actually have a plan for how I am going to begin chipping away at this daunting goal, desire, dream. (Yay me!)

I am going to train for and participate in the Country Music Half Marathon with the Powered by Hope Team. Yes, I’ve finished two halves before.

But this time I will be different. This time I am going to stick with a training schedule. This time I am going to push myself past the pain. This time I am going to also be conscious of what I using as fuel. This time I will cross the finish line proud of the race that I have run. This time I won’t just be thinking about finishing the race. This time I will have a goal in mind, getting fit.

If you want to join me as I get fit and raise some money for an incredible and inspiring organization, visit http://whatpowersyou.org.

PS – I am hoping a by product of getting fit, is getting “sporty.” Because well…it is my favorite adjective. No lie…my favorite adjective.

Would you consider yourself fit? What does fit-ness look like in your life?

I’ve found that the most difficult thing for me is admitting I want things that I might not get, creating goals that I might not achieve, dreaming dreams that are just that, dreams.

Why should I give up without a good fight? Why should I let fear control my destiny?

I want to live boldly. I want to write an epic story. And it seems like the first step is putting pen-to-paper and defining what I want my life to look like down the road.

What better place to do that, then here, on my blog? After all, it is a place where I can say anything I want.

So WELCOME to the first in a series of posts called “Drafting Blueprints.” I’m going to try to dig deep, face my fears, tackle one “room” at a time, and dream big.

Here we go. The first one is a doozy…I want to get married.

Ughhh, did I really just say that? Those words are very practically impossible to admit.

Because when I hear people girls say that they want to get married, I think they sound PATHETIC. And I don’t want to be one of those girls, not even for a minute.

To be perfectly honest getting married is not really what I’m after. I don’t care that much about the ring, the white dress, the presents, the party (I said “that much). I don’t even dislike being single (well..sometimes I do, there is the occasional lonely Sunday night and the painfully awkward wedding party).

And I have no desire to spend the rest of my life with someone who is wrong for me. Because I already know that there is nothing worse than feeling lonely when you are not alone.

I want more than marriage. I want to marry someone special. Someone who I can love forever. Someone to build a family with. Someone to walk through life with. Someone to laugh with. Someone to cry with. Someone who will call me out when I am being a brat (yes, I can be a major brat.) Someone who will be on my team. Someone who will love me unconditionally, or as close as humanly possible.

As difficult as it is to admit… I do dream of getting married someday, of not being alone on this journey forever.

But if it doesn’t happen, I can live with that too.

“We are confident that God is able to orchestrate EVERYTHING to create something good and beautiful when we love Him and accept His invitation to live according to His plan.” Romans 8:28 (The Voice)

So how about you, do you have any dreams that are difficult to admit?