Today I’m guest posting over on (In)Courage. (In)Courage is one of the few blogs I get sent to my inbox every day. Some of my favorite writers, and friends, are regular contributors. And so I was extremely honored when they asked me to share something on the subject of Community for their anniversary.

Some people don’t get it.

They don’t get my fascination with communicating in 140 characters. They don’t get what compels me to expose my most intimate struggles, fears, and dreams on a blog. They don’t get my motivation for allowing strangers to become followers, and friends. (Click here to read more…)

Also be sure to check out today’s giveaway.

Saturday morning I flew out to sunny Southern California. I had been looking for a great excuse to escape the oppressive Tennessee heat and this really cool opportunity (more about that later) popped up at the last minutes to spend a couple of days with friends in Cali-forn-ia.  How could I say no to that?

So…

After several hours in the sky, I landed at John Wayne International Airport and a perfect day ensued.

I lingered over a LONG girly brunch with Bianca and Anne.

I got a haircut. And by cut, I mean CUT. (see exhibit A above)

I went to Mariner’s Church to see my friend Kyle Zimmerman lead worship.

And I heard a powerful message from Jeff Pries that felt like it was a not so subtle nudging,

“Lindsey, here’s how you deal with your terrible tally problem.”

Jeff said that a good relationship is one where people know their feelings (even the deep, dark, scary ones) and communicate them in humility and love.

He said that there is ALWAYS a gap in relationships between expectation and reality. And he said that you have to make a choice.

You have to choose whether you are going to expect the worst OR believe the best.

I am ready to make that choice.

I want to be someone who chooses recklessly, boldly, even naively, to believe the best.

I want to be someone who loves awkwardly.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF BEING WRONGED. It does not rejoice in injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is awkward.

How was your weekend?

PS – Here’s a link to watch the complete message.

Today I’m guest posting over on The Stubborn Servant. I met Nicole Unice through the world blogs and twitter. And when she sent me an email introducing herself further, we realized we had several mutual acquaintances. The world is so small. Nicole asked me to write on the word PLAN. So here’s what I came up with:

Some of my close friends make fun of me because I always have to have a plan.

We’ll bump into each other at a party and they’ll casually mention, “We don’t have much going on. Maybe we could do dinner one night next week? Whatever works for you.” But much to their chagrin I pin them down, “So we’ll do an early dinner next Thursday night?”

I just prefer to have a clear sense of what’s ahead.

Even as a little girl, I had plans. They might have been tentative. But they were plans.

I’d go away to school, meet eclectic friends, date some bad boys, travel to far away countries, and find success in a job I loved. By 28, I’d marry the perfect boy. By 30, I’d have a little girl named Reade. (Geez. I didn’t realize how much detail I’d crafted in my head until I wrote that down. So maybe I’m a little compulsive 

But here I sit, 33, single, childless, and learning the hard lesson that we never truly have a clear sense of what’s ahead. (click here to continue reading)

After a growth spurt (whether up or out), inevitably my clothes don’t fit in the same way. Sometimes they are too short, sometimes they are too tight, and sometimes they are just plain wonky.

Most of the time I am too stubborn to accept my current reality.

I naively stuff myself in, doing whatever it takes to seal the deal.

“They’ll stretch out. Surely, they’ll stretch out,” I whisper repeatedly in hopes of convincing myself. But inevitably as the day wears on, I realize that, they, in fact, WILL NOT stretch out.

And I feel foolish.

Foolish for not realizing that I have grown. Foolish for not realizing that my clothes have stayed the same size. Foolish for not realizing that it is time to say goodbye and move on.

Unfortunately, my issues go far beyond my bulging closet.

When I experience growth, whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual, I am reluctant to accept my new reality.

I continue to stuff myself into old behaviors and patterns. But just my gaping shirt, what used to be a perfect fit is quite snug, what used to be comfortable is now constraining.

And I feel foolish.

Foolish for not realizing that I have grown. Foolish for thinking I can still fit into old molds. Foolish for not realizing that it is time to say goodbye and move on.

Have you experienced what I now affectionately refer to as  ”growing pains”?

What if I woke up every morning and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was right where I needed to be?

What if I woke up every morning and realized that I had absolutely no control over the past?

What if I woke up every morning and understood that tomorrow is resting securely is in His hands?

What if I woke up every morning and became acutely aware of all the tools He has placed at my disposal?

What if I woke up every morning and decided to be relentlessly focused on the opportunities He has put in front of me today?

I wonder.

What could I do? Who could I be? How would I live each day differently?

What “what ifs” are you dwelling on today?

A couple of weeks ago I finished John Ortberg’s The Me I Want To Be. I LOVE this book. It got me thinking, brought clarity to the cloudiness, answered questions I didn’t know I was asking, and offered peace to replace some of my stirring. My copy is all marked-up with underlines and notes of promptings that need to be further explored. To force myself to do the hard work and dig into some of the dark corners of my soul, I’ve asked my extra-small group if we can read and discuss. I am so grateful that they agreed. This morning as I flipped back through the book, this passage stood out:

God has existed from eternity – but he has never had a relationship with you before. He wants to do a new thing with you. The problem many people face when it comes to spiritual growth is that they listen to someone they thing of as an expert – maybe the pastor of their church – talk about what he does, and think that is what they are supposed to do. When it doesn’t work for them – because they are a different person – they feel guilty and inadequate; they often give up.

God has a plan for the me he wants me to be. It will not look exactly like his plan for anyone else, which means it will take freedom and exploration for me to learn how God wants to grow in me. Spiritual growth is hand-crafted, not mass-produced. God does not do “one-size-fits-all.”

He goes on to say:

A spiritual discipline is simply an activity you engage in to be made more fully alive by the Spirit of Life.

So I’m curious, what do you that makes you feel most fully alive?

Here are a few of mine:

Going to hear a great singer-songwriter perform at an intimate setting

An impromptu afternoon drive with my windows down, music blaring

Sunday mornings at Cross Point (and the inevitable long lunch afterwards)

Spending time investing in (or being just plain silly with) my nieces and other favorite kids

Sunday night after spending an incredible day playing with family, eating a huge meal, and watching a fireworks spectacular, I came home and had my own little pity party. (I know, not how you thought that sentence was going to end?)

It has taken me a couple of days to understand where the seemingly random sadness and grief came from. And candidly I’m still not sure if I can put words to my feelings, but that is not going to stop me from trying. So here it goes:

Have you ever dreamed of a different life?

But it seemed that life was not within your grasp?

So you filled your days with compelling adventures? With amazing people, places, and pursuits?

And those people, places, and pursuits were fulfilling. (Really, they were.)

So fulfilling that oftentimes you convinced yourself that they were what you needed, even if not exactly what you wanted?

And over the course of time you buried your childhood fantasies?

But then one day you went to a far-away land where everyone seemed to be living out your perfect ending?

And your people, places, and pursuits suddenly seemed rather lackluster.

And you grieved those buried dreams?

Yeah, me too. Me too. Not fun.

Even fireworks can’t rescue a day like that.

But today I sit with some much-needed perspective…firmly in His grasp, appreciative of what I have, of what I’m learning, and of where I’m going.

“If you could have anything, ANYTHING your heart desires, what would you want?”

I’d struggle for a few minutes. But after some time, I’d sheepishly answer, “to be known.”

As hard is it is to admit at times, that is really what I’m after. To be known.

More than a successful career, more than abundant wealth, more than a room full of friends, more than a fancy new car, more the sleakest blog, and more than the loudest praise, I want to be known.

I. Want. To. Be. Known.

But you know what’s funny? (Funny-strange, not funny-haha.)

I act. I posture. I deflect. I avoid. I run. I hide.

I. Hide.

I hide from the people who are closest to me.

And I hide from the One who created me and knows me inside and out.

Now, what is that about?

God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I’m an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I’m thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I’m never out of your sight.
You know everything I’m going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you’re there,
then up ahead and you’re there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can’t take it all in! Psalm 139:1-6

Over the last two weeks, I’ve asked some friends to share their impressions about John Mark McMillan’s How He Loves. These posts have been so good for me. They’ve been food for my soul. I have loved each and every one. Their beauty lies in their uniqueness.

Yesterday, inspired by the series Bill Cahusac shared his thoughts on the song in a post called Loves Like a Hurricane. I read it. It is wonderful and inspiring. In fact, it inspired me to create a place where you all could share your reflections on the song.

Here are the song’s lyrics:

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

God loves us so incomprehensibly, so uniquely, so powerfully, so messily. Most of us have a story about how He has loved us or how we have been overwhelmed by His love. Share your stories of restoration, redemption, grace, and mercy. Share your stories of His love.

I just love that Stephen Brewster is wrapping up the How He Loves series. A few months ago as the Senior Director of Marketing for Integrity Music, Stephen introduced me to John Mark McMillan and the song that inspired this series.

Even more, I love that Stephen, his lovely wife, and beautiful kids just moved to Nashville last week to be a part of Cross Point. God is good. And the world is small.

Find his blog here.

And his twitter here.

How He Loves is  is a declaration. It defines our relationship with God in a way that few songs dare to attempt. The concept of love is not foreign, but the realization that we are required to accept love is another thing entirely.

He Loves Us…but have we accepted and embraced that love?
His grace is an ocean…but are we willing to get wet?
He loves like a hurricane…but are we looking for the evacuation route to a comfortable place away from the storms?

Love is a 2 way street. You can be love and the love not be returned. The real relationship takes place when the love is accepted, embraced, and reciprocated.

He loves you.
He loves you today.
He loves you because of your imperfections.
He loves you without pretense, prejudice, performance, or boundary.
He loves YOU. The real you. The sometimes hidden you. The you that can be, and will be, even if you have not yet been…that person…He loves you.

God is an artist. He creates amazing art every day. He deposits great art in people to be time released creatively over his people. Gods brush of choice is to use people. How He Loves may not be fundamentally “congregational”, but creatively it challenges the very core of every person with breath in their lungs…it challenges us to confront our desire to be accepted and respond by embracing the one love that will never fail, Oh, How He Loves…