I have been in a kind of funny place lately. I have been looking beyond the basics for Truth. Trying to decipher what I believe and why I believe it. Needing a little more depth to my theology. Today I tried to put that struggle into word over on Deeper Church. I hope that you will go read it and comment if it resonates so I don’t feel quite so naked.

Lately I have been trying to reconcile what I believe about well, things. You know? Things…big things, spiritual things, God things.

Heaven. Hell. The Father. The Son. The Holy Spirit. Sin. Grace. Atonement. The Nature of Man. The Nature of God. Read the rest here. 

You know the old adages…

There are two sides to every coin.

There are always two sides to every story.

At some point between adolescence and adulthood, these ‘truths’ because so engrained in each of us that we often neglect to see the error in their simplicity.  Quips that were created hope of advancing our perspective on life, and love, and conflict, left us believing that only two sides, two opinions, or two extremes need to be accounted for. Click here to read the rest at Deeper Church. 

We started our morning tucked in the back office of a school in a community in Dhaka to spend some time together in devotions. We read 1 Corinthians 13, the ”love chapter.” A passage that is read so often it is tempting to tune it out.

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love, I am a noisy gong or clanging symbol. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, then I am nothing. If I give away all that I have, and deliver my body to be burned but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy or boast. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up the childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall now fully, even as I have been fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

But reading it here, in Bangladesh, the words I know so well sounded different. Different because the scriptures were read in Bangla. And different because those words are what this trip is about. This trip is an expedition in 1 Corinthians 13. This trip is an expedition in faith, in hope, and in love.

Faith. FH has been in Bangladesh since 1972.  What started as a relief effort to get rice to starving Bangladeshis amid a revolution, has evolved over the last 40 years. A vision of FH’s faithful founder Larry Ward who wouldn’t let the overwhelming need deter him, “they die one at a time, so we help them one at a time,” has grown. Mountains have been moved. Lifes have been changed. In Bangladesh alone, the organization provides agricultural training; health, hygiene, and clean water programs; pastoral training; income generating groups; and education initiatives. All funded through child sponsorship. 

Photo by Esther Havens.

Hope. FH has been in the community we visited today since 1981. What was once a slum perched on a garbage dump has evolved into a beacon of hope. Its cornerstone, a self-sufficient school operated by former-FH-sponsor-kids like Sirajul, Menohad, Josef, and Esa. Their former teacher, Rony, now works on the FH Bangladesh executive team. And he beams as he shares how the young men he taught inspire him. They inspire me too. They glisten with hope.

Photo by Esther Havens.

The kids they instruct shimmer with it too. {I suspect if I found my way back here in 10 years I would meet a new generation of former-FH-sponsor-kids continuing the tradition of teaching the kids in their community.}

Photo by Esther Havens.

Love. As Logan pointed so eloquently shared this morning during our dive into 1 Corinthians 13, “while faith and hope are something that we have, love is something we can give.”

And gave it we did.

Today love broke down common barriers…citizenship, religion, language.

Today love was dolled out in heaps.

And today love left us all full. 

Photo by Esther Havens.

Photo by Esther Havens.

Photo by Esther Havens.

Photo by Esther Havens.

Photo by Esther Havens.

Photo by Esther Havens.

Photo by Esther Havens.

If you want to love on these kids, these communities, you can. It only costs $32 a month to sponsor a child. Through your sponsorship, you will help Food for the Hungry assist your child’s entire community to provide food, a better education, clean water and medical treatment to its children. Go here to sponsor a child in Bangladesh.

Go here to read the posts from the bloggers on this trip with me.

The Quotable Bryan Stevenson

We work with the broken, because we too are broken.

We are not defined by the worst thing we have ever done.

Brokenness can be healed by GRACE, brokenness can be mended by MERCY.

The biggest problem we have is the profound absence of hope.

The opposite of poverty is not really wealth but justice.

Justice begins when we recognize the humanity of every person.

Stone-catching is not an elective, it’s our calling.

Don’t miss Bryan’s TED talk for which he received the strongest standing ovation ever seen at TED.

 Perry Noble on The Frustrated Leader

No matter what we do, we can’t satisfy everyone.

David was the one of most extraordinary leaders in the Bible. David in 1 Samuel 16, was completely ignored because of the older generation. David learned, when no one was watching, a skill that propelled him to a place of leadership, how to sling stones.

There is no progress in leadership, unless we embrace the process of leadership. We have to get past yearning to get discovered and start yearning for God to develop us.

If you are gifted, you just use your gift, and the world will see you using your gift.

We all have been in a place where we think we are doing what we should be doing. But then you realize that people don’t like what you are doing or who you are reaching.

David was working for a leader that was very insecurity. He and Saul kept butting heads.

We don’t have to discover how to reach the next generation. They are going to discover how to reach themselves. God’s going to do something great with the next generation. We can either oppose it, and get passed over, or join it.

Here’s how we know David was a leader. He went somewhere and people followed. One of the greatest things about David, he NEVER dishonored Saul at any point.

The easiest thing to do when we are frustrated is to talk smack. But instead of talking about them, talk to God and ask him to MAKE you, to develop you.

I’m hanging out at Catalyst today and loving every minute. After missing the big Atlanta shindig last year, it’s so nice to be back, to be learning from such gifted leaders, to hang with friends from around the world and to rest, reflect and worship with 13,000 believers.

Since a lot of you couldn’t be here., thought I’d recap each day so you don’t have to miss everything! The theme this year is MAKE.

Andy Stanley – The Making of a Leader

When leaders tell their stories, they talk about what MADE them leaders.

Information and insight alone do not a leader MAKE.

When leaders tell their stories about what MADE them a leader,  very rarely do they mention podcasts, articles, or blog posts.

3 Things That MAKE a Leader:

• Unexpected Opportunity
• Unavoidable Adversity
• Unquestionable Calling

But it’s not only the opportunity, adversity or calling that MAKE the leader. It’s the response to those things that MAKE the leader.

You need to write a story worth telling. God is MAKING you a leader. Respond well.

You have no control over any of it, except for how your respond.

3 Significant Things That Shaped Andy Stanley:

• Growing up his father told him rover and over again. “God has a plan for your life and you don’t want to miss it.” There was a sense of destiny that was constantly spoken over Andy and his sister. His first journal entry as a 17 year old, “I need to tell my son at a young age that God has a plan for his life.” Not only is God making you but he’s making your children, your grandchildren, and other people that are watching. Actions can echo into the next generation. Your response to opportunity, adversity, and calling can have more impact than you could ever imagine.
• A college leader once said to Andy, “I have a postion and I have a title, but you have influence. I want you to use it. Because influence is more important that position or title.” This was important because it was the first time Andy was thrown into an arena and didn’t know what to do.  It was an unexpected opportunity and Andy felt unprepared. But he stepped up and started sharing the Bible with his peers.
• As a result of a growing tension between Andy’s church and the gay community, at 27 Andy preached a sermon  on homosexuality. It was the first subject he’d ever heard on the subject.  It’s better to MAKE a difference than a point. Every once in awhile you are going to be disturbed by something, pay attention to that tension. God MAKES a leader by stirring our hearts. Leaders walk into messes.

One of the things I am really excited about in this season is contributing to a new channel of Deeper Story, A Deeper Church. The writers that will be contributing monthly are friends, old and new, who love wrestling, engaging, and exploring stories to find common truths. I hope you will take this opportunity to follow along.

I was one of those kids who grew up in the church. Literally. Sunday School. Big Church. Summer Splash. Mystery Trips. Lock-Ins. Communicants Class. I grew up in The Church.

But in college, I began to wrestle. Not literally. The church lost its authority, its familiarity, and its appeal. I didn’t need the rules, the judgement, or the guilt. I figured that I could keep God around, but not necessarily as a Savior, more as a wise bet, a guarantee, that I wouldn’t spend an eternity down under.

Read more here. 

Sometimes I struggle with prayer.

Not the bow your heads as we all come together to close up this worship service type of prayer. Not the constant back-and-forth muttering, wrestling, surrendering to the Creator of the Universe type of prayer.

But the grocery listing of all the things in this world that are broken and need mending type of prayer. The begging for divine intervention type of prayer. And more specifically, the I have this deep and seemingly God-given desire to fall in love, get married, and have kids, and so I’m gonna plead with the Almighty One to find me a husband type of prayer.

My friend Bianca notices that I don’t seem to have much fight, at least when my personal interests are concerned. My friend Kyle wonders if I have issues feeling worthy. And my friend Joy fearlessly petitions Him on my behalf.

Their words, observations and prayers are of course appreciated but me, I still struggle with saying that prayer.

Yes, I wholeheartedly believe in an all-knowing and all-powerful God. I wholeheartedly believe that God has a plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. And I wholeheartedly believe that God can move mountains, He can heal the sick, and He can perform miracles on a whim.

But what I can’t seem to reconcile is that He wants to hear me groan about my singleness. That He doesn’t already know what my heart desires. And  that He would divert His perfect-for-me plan based on my fumbling attempt at words.

So yes, sometimes I struggle with prayer.

How about you? Do you struggle with prayer?

And…what are your thoughts on praying for a husband?

Don’t forge the rules. Be honest but only if you can do be honest while being kind, courteous, and respectful. 

While I, like everyone else, am sick of the ‘Christian Chicken Debacle of 2012′. I want to make sure that these grace-filled voices are heard above the thoughtless bickering.

So if you haven’t read these posts/articles, please take a few minutes to dig in and prayerfully consider what the unforced rhythms of grace might look like.

Rachel Held Evans’ When You Feel Out of Step With Your Religious Community…

Matthew Paul Turner’s 5 Reasons Why The Church Failed Yesterday

Jen Hatmaker’s In The Basement and The Basement Manifesto

Andrew Marin’s My Quick Thoughts on Chick-Fil-A

I’d love to hear your thoughts. {As long as they are respectful, loving, and kind.}

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30, The Message

Yesterday, I packed up what was left of my life in California.

In between errands and goodbyes, I stole an hour with my friend Jennie {yes, I reposted a guest post I did for her yesterday} and her husband Zac. They like many, asked how my transition has been, what I’m leaving behind and what I took away from this season.

Unpacking it all with them, I could see God’s hand woven throughout my zig-zagging story {no one ever said He only works in straight lines and wants us to take the easiest route from point A to point B}. Thought I’d take the time to document as much for me as for those of you who choose to follow along.

How has the transition been? 

The transition has been good.

Peaceful.

Crazy but peaceful.

Candidly, I am pretty worn out and can not wait for the day when I get to get dressed by choosing clothes from a closet instead of a suitcase. I’ve been traveling A LOT. When I have been in Nashville, I’ve been fortunate to have an incredibly welcoming friend open her house to me and the pup and make sure we felt right at home.

The new job, well it’s perfect…perfect for me I mean. 

Most of my goodbyes were said weeks ago so I was surprised at the rush of emotions that tracked me down on this quick trip back to Orange County to close up shop. I suspect grief, joy, and fear will continue to sneak up on me from time to time. It’s just part of it, just part of transition.

What am I leaving behind? 

Dear friends. The good news is that it is really just a “see you later” instead of a “goodbye.” And in many cases trips to Nashville are already on the books. But I would be kidding myself to think that those relationships won’t evolve and that the distance won’t make doing life together day-in-and-day-out difficult.

The ocean and just-about-perfect weather. The good news is that I’ll get to visit from time to time and on those trips I’ll soak them up. {In the meantime, I’ll try to keep my complaining about the Nashville heat and humidity to a minimum.}

Fish tacos. No good news on this one folks!

 What did I take away from this season?  

Looking back, my time in California was…necessary. I didn’t know it at the time but it seems obvious now.

2011 was a tough year for me personally.

There was a lot of loss…aching loss. Moving away gave me distance and allowed me to enter a season of rest, reflection and ultimately restoration.

People say that time heals all wounds. I believe distance helps accelerate the healing process.

So hopefully sooner rather than later, I can settle back into Nashville, a world that I LOVE, with a joyful and expectant heart, stronger, more focused, and more equipped to tackle what God sets before me next.

What have you taken away from the season you are in? 

A year ago {almost to the day}, my friend Jennie asked me to share my thoughts on some word prompts. The post is below. Crazy how my answers still ring true and my words speak reassurance to me in this new season of change. {PS – Jennie is the real deal. You need to be reading her book and following her on her blog and twitter.}

Years ago I began following a passionate young woman on twitter and on her blog: lindseynobles.com. I appreciated her honest, wrestling spirit. Now I am so happy to call her friend. We met just as she was departing Thomas Nelson into new uncharted territory. I so admired her faith in this new step, I wanted you to be inspired too.

I threw Lindsey some words and asked to share a little about them in her own life.