Christmas is just around the corner. Literally 45 days and counting….

(Where exactly does time go?)

And now is the time to be downloading Christmas music so that you can start feeling all festive.

I need to know. What Christmas album and/or song do you consider required listening?

Here are mine, don’t judge.

Album: Kenny and Dolly’s “Once Upon Christmas”

Song: Wham’s “Last Christmas”

I told you not to judge. But if you couldn’t help yourself, please know that I love the ones that actually talk about the arrival of Christ too but there is something about these that take me back. Way back.

Oh, and if you are looking for something new to add to your music library, you should check out “The Essential Christmas Collection” with songs from Tenth Avenue North, Third Day, Matt Maher, Jars of Clay and many others. It is fantastic. Fantastic.

But lately instead of pouting, struggling, fighting through this season of singleness, I have been dwelling on the opportunities this season provides. I have been shifting from a posture of doubt, frustration, and impatience to a posture of trust, privilege, and hope. I have been focusing on the possibility instead of the potentially shattered dreams. Because in all reality…

My season of singleness gives me freedom, time, and resources that I can invest however I choose.

My season of  singleness creates an aching hunger for intimacy with Christ.

My season of singleness is my constant reminder that He is in control, that He has a plan, and that He makes everything beautiful in its time.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (New International Version)

What season are you battling now? What does it make possible?

Logically I KNOW that I have enough.

But my feelings never seem to be logical. (Oh, how I wish they were.)

So…I find myself haphazardly fluctuating between wanting more and feeling…just plain overwhelmed.

In my relationships, at work, with my piles of stuff, it’s never enough until…it feels like too much.

Oh, how I want to live life with a spirit of contentment, a spirit of joy, a spirit of peace, a spirit of hope.

Instead of…this endless restlessness.

Restless (Audrey Assad and Matt Maher)

You dwell in the songs that we are singing
Rising to the heavens
Rising to Your heart, Your heart;
Our praises filling up the spaces
In between our frailty
And everything You are;
You are the keeper of my heart.
And I’m restless, I’m restless till I rest in You, till I rest in You
I am restless; I’m restless till I rest in You, till I rest in You, oh God.
Speak now, for my soul is listening;
Say that You have saved me;
Whisper in the dark, the dark.
I know You’re more than my salvation;
Without You I am hopeless;
Tell me who You are;
You are the keeper of my heart
You are the keeper of my heart.
Still my heart; hold me close; let me hear a still small voice.
Let it grow; let it rise into a shout, into a cry.

Do you know this restlessness?

If you’ve been around here for awhile, you know I am a big fan of John Mark McMillan and his song, “How He Loves.” Big fan.

Such a big fan that I had 9 of my blogging friends share their thoughts on the song.

Such a big fan that I begged my friend Stephen Brewster to give me whatever John Mark McMillan tracks he had so I could feed the frenzy. And to stop me from pestering him, he relented and gave me a copy of The Medicine. And I’ve loved it. Loved it.

John Mark, is really talented. His music is different, in a great way. It is creative. It is risky. And it is ripe with emotions.

Here’s a link so you can check out The Medicine on iTunes.

But today, to celebrate the official release of The Medicine, I get to give away 10 copies.

So…would you like to win a copy?

If so, leave a comment below sharing a few words about a  song that you has moved you lately. I will randomly choose 10 commenters on Friday and will notify them via email that they will be getting a copy of  “The Medicine.”

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Update: Winners Selected and Notified on July 9th. Thanks everyone for your comments. Have a lot of new music I need to check out!

Yesterday, inspired by the series Bill Cahusac shared his thoughts on the song in a post called Loves Like a Hurricane. I read it. It is wonderful and inspiring. In fact, it inspired me to create a place where you all could share your reflections on the song.

Here are the song’s lyrics:

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
So Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.
Yeah, He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves us,
Whoa! how He loves.

God loves us so incomprehensibly, so uniquely, so powerfully, so messily. Most of us have a story about how He has loved us or how we have been overwhelmed by His love. Share your stories of restoration, redemption, grace, and mercy. Share your stories of His love.

I just love that Stephen Brewster is wrapping up the How He Loves series. A few months ago as the Senior Director of Marketing for Integrity Music, Stephen introduced me to John Mark McMillan and the song that inspired this series.

Even more, I love that Stephen, his lovely wife, and beautiful kids just moved to Nashville last week to be a part of Cross Point. God is good. And the world is small.

Find his blog here.

And his twitter here.

How He Loves is  is a declaration. It defines our relationship with God in a way that few songs dare to attempt. The concept of love is not foreign, but the realization that we are required to accept love is another thing entirely.

He Loves Us…but have we accepted and embraced that love?
His grace is an ocean…but are we willing to get wet?
He loves like a hurricane…but are we looking for the evacuation route to a comfortable place away from the storms?

Love is a 2 way street. You can be love and the love not be returned. The real relationship takes place when the love is accepted, embraced, and reciprocated.

He loves you.
He loves you today.
He loves you because of your imperfections.
He loves you without pretense, prejudice, performance, or boundary.
He loves YOU. The real you. The sometimes hidden you. The you that can be, and will be, even if you have not yet been…that person…He loves you.

God is an artist. He creates amazing art every day. He deposits great art in people to be time released creatively over his people. Gods brush of choice is to use people. How He Loves may not be fundamentally “congregational”, but creatively it challenges the very core of every person with breath in their lungs…it challenges us to confront our desire to be accepted and respond by embracing the one love that will never fail, Oh, How He Loves…

Today’s “How He Loves” post is from Grant Jenkins, aka An Idol Heart. Grant is a fellow Cross Pointer who I met via twitter and blogging several months before our paths crossed “in real life.” I admire how Grant publicly wrestles with finding peace, purpose, and self-worth in Christ. Alone.

Find his blog here.

And his twitter here.

jealous |ˈjeləs|adjective.
fiercely protective or vigilant of one’s rights or possessions

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight and wind of his mercy

I remember it like it was yesterday.

It was the week of January 11, 2010 when God, in His great mercy, allowed me to see the condition of my heart. The jig was up.

Finally, after 8 months of becoming increasingly aware that I had allowed my career to become an idol in my heart … after 8 months of trying to act like I could still make it work… after 8 months of trying to hold band-aids on an open wound… I broke.

I broke hard.

My chest was tight.

My breath was shallow.

My mind and emotions were in a tailspin.

What words I did speak were spoken through tears

The thought of taking one more step in the direction I had been headed was overwhelming.

What had I become?

Whatever it was, it was not pretty.

The part of me that knew this was coming was relieved it was finally here.  The part of me that wanted desperately to keep feeding the image monster and project the appearance of success was scared to death.

Who would I be now?

It didn’t matter. I just knew I no longer wanted to be THIS.

In what seemed like an instant, I deeply understood what God meant when He said Israel had “played the whore.” It wasn’t that they didn’t love Him.  It was that they didn’t love him MORE.  It was that they had placed him on a level playing field with all their self-made gods, and their affections were up for grabs.

In that moment, I vividly understood the picture God was painting by telling Hosea to go marry Gomer the prostitute.

“The Lord said to Hosea, Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord” Hosea 1:2

He was using Hosea’s story to show us how He felt loving His people. Marrying Gomer the prostitute wasn’t anything special in and of itself.  People get married all the time. The weight of the story is that he LOVED her. Those are two very different things. God wanted Hosea to know how it felt to love someone who was unfaithful, be committed to someone who wasn’t committed in return and to be a father to children he didn’t produce. He was teaching Hosea the righteous jealousy of an unfaithful, unrequited love that was rightfully his.

That was me.

On this particular day, for the first time ever in my life, I could feel the weight of my whorish heart in the light of the jealousy of God.

“You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God” Exodus 20:4-5

He was jealous for me.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love God…

It was that I didn’t love him MORE than all that other crap that I had allowed to accumulate in my heart.  It was that He was competing for my affections with what I thought made me look good and gave me the appearance of success. I had fallen more in love with what had been given to me than with the One who gave it.

I was at once both undone and done.  Completely.

It was a moment of lucidity I hope I never forget as long as I live, and one that continues to shape and filter my life each and every day.

Have you ever considered what it means for God to be jealous for you? He is the jealous lover of our souls, who looks on in bewilderment, confusion and disappointment as we flirt with and allow our hearts to be seduced by lesser lovers who have no legal or spiritual claim to what we are so quick to freely give.

He sees the way your heart flutters when it catches the gaze of the latest would-be suitor who speaks eloquently of security and promises hope; and He sees you lying broken on the floor in a pool of disillusionment, as once again, disappointed, dejected and detached, you struggle to pry your heart away from another broken promise and unfulfilled dream that you foolishly tried to replace Him with.  He sees it all… and yet He waits… and loves in spite of your whorish heart’s attempts to attach hope to something it can see.

God is not jealous OF you. He doesn’t want your stuff.

He is jealous FOR you. He wants your heart. It is His. He made it for Himself.

What is He having to dig through to get to it?

He loves us, Oh, how He loves us!

Today’s “How He Loves” post is from Alece Ronzino, aka Grit and Glory. As I have said before, Alece is seems well ordinary. She is as easy be around, smart, authentic, and sassy. She is a kindred soul. But at the same time Alece is extra-ordinary. She ventured to Africa right out of high school to be a missionary. She created a successful ministry in South Africa. And through her beautifully written blog, she manages to make sharing her trials and open wounds with practical strangers seem natural.

Find her blog here.

And her twitter here.

I keep thinking about the adulterous woman who was dragged before Jesus. Mainly because I can’t help but see myself in her.

The crowd was ready to stone her for her sin, for her failure. And then Jesus spoke. He looked the mob straight in the eye and actually challenged them to go through with it. Underone condition.

He called for the one without sin to throw the first stone.

I can only imagine the shift that instantly took place within the crowd. They knew they were just as sinful as the woman was. They were well aware of how stoning-worthy their own hearts were.

So one by one, the crowd slowly turned and walked away.

All of them.

Until Jesus was the only one left with the woman. Perfectly fitting with what He’d said… “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” He alone was sinless. He alone had a right to judge.

Yet the One without sin cast no stones.

Instead He barraged her with grace.

Just like He still does with me.

It doesn’t matter how many accusations are hurled at me. Or how many I throw at myself. It doesn’t matter how far I’ve run, how deeply I’ve messed up, how ashamed I feel.

He casts no stones. No judgment. No condemnation. All He casts is love.

Every single time.

Today’s “How He Loves” post is from Trisha Davis. As I said on Wednesday, Justin and Trish(a) are two incredible people. They know all about brokenness, restoration, and redemption. Through their ministry at Cross Point Bellevue and Refine Us, they teach others (like me) the power of authenticity, truth, and grace. I am honored to call them friends.

Read about 8 things that destroyed their marriage here.

Read about 8 things that restored their marriage here.

Find their blog here.

And Trisha’s Twitter here.

The older I get the more I realize that everyone has a story. Just writing those words I’m sure you are already thinking of yours. John Mark McMillan’s story of how he came to write “How He Loves” is a reminder of the power of one’s story. The problem with my “story” is that there are too many. If I were to sit down with you over coffee and share my life story I’m certain you would walk away thinking I was viably insane.

The sad reality is that most of my life’s stories really aren’t mine to own. Most of what I have been through has come through other people’s choices or unexplainable tragedy. I have stood on the sidelines witnessing others poor choices and in return deciding to make poor choices of my own.

But in the middle of the mess of my life God has always found me through music. Regardless if I am running or hiding from God, His truth finds me in a song. It has been a pathway into an intimate relationship with him that is often messy and unexpected. And in the end His message to me is always the same…

“He loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh How he loves”

It’s an undeniable truth that He doesn’t just love me but he loves US. He loves all those involved in my messy broken story. He loves me “in my anger, in my resentment, in my frustration. Despite who we are he wants to be a part of our lives”

“He loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh How he loves”

Grasping the depth of his love for others and myself has created in me a heart to lead reckless worship. Reckless worship is praising God through times of sadness, brokenness and tragedy when nothing seems to make sense. Reckless worship at its core is coming to grips that it is simply stupid that God would love such a messed-up person like me! Reckless worship screams out….

“So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart burns violently inside of my chest
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way”

“He loves us
Oh how he loves us
Oh How he loves”

I pray today that you would come to know and believe that no matter your story God loves you! He loves you and those in the mess of your story…Recklessly!

Next week we will have 4 more stories. So stay tuned!

Thanks again.

Lindsey