Lately I have been oddly intrigued by the idea of liminal space.

Liminal space is a place where boundaries dissolve and we stand on a threshold, getting ourselves ready to move across the limits of what we were into what we are to becoming.

It seems like there should be a finite moment between here and there.

But it is quite impossible to pin down. With no clear beginning. And with no clear end.

Sometimes I lay in bed and try to decipher when the threshold first appeared. Was it when life in Nashville began to get alarmingly comfortable? Was it my first trip out to California when God began planting seeds of friendship? Was it the conversations at Q that made me start questioning my purpose and His plan? Was it the coaching group that forced me week-after-week to revisit my restlessness? Or was it this summer when I decided to pack up and head to California to work with Project 7? When exactly did I start transitioning?

And sometimes I lay in bed and try to decipher when the threshold will be crossed, when I will have “arrived.” Because although I am physically here, I still can’t begin fathom who I will become, or what life might look like, in this next chapter.

Yet these questions are futile.

Surely I will slip across this threshold one day. Just as surely as another threshold will appear.

“We do not think ourselves into new ways of living, we live ourselves into new ways of thinking.” ― Richard Rohr

Are you in a period of transition? Can you pin down when it began or when it might end?  

The Moving Edition

Tomorrow morning I get on an American Airlines flight and head to Orange County to begin my new adventure. I am thankful that I will be greeted by a few familiar faces, that I have found a lovely place to lay my head {once my bed and all my stuff make their way}, and that I have a job that is sure to keep me quite busy.

Here is a quick list of things I have learned as I work my way through this transition:

1. I am terrible at goodbyes. Terrible. For the last two weeks, I have struggled to be present with some of my closest friends, to not allow myself to be distracted by the impending cross-country move, and it has been immensely difficult. How do you say goodbye to friends and mentors who have supported and championed you along the way? How do you leave a church that renewed your faith? How do walk away from families who have loved on you when you weren’t in a place to love yourself? Words don’t suffice. Finally Sunday after church and lunch, I got in my car, turned up the radio, pulled out of town and began to process through everything I was thinking and feeling.

2. Emotions are complicated. When we sit down and start sorting through what we are really feeling, we realize that the joy is right there with the grief, and the hope is right there with the fear. We need to give ourselves some time and grace to untangle them so that each is given the proper acknowledgment.

3. The world we exist in will naturally evolve in our absence. I realized this after making my last big move four years ago. Until that time, I operated under the freakishly naive assumption that my previous life would exist for me to step back in to whenever it was convenient for me. Not the case. I will change. My friends will change. My world will change. My friendships will change. Their friendships will change. Their world will change. I will never be able to go back and step into the same exact role I have previously played. But I will always be able to go back and meet everyone where they are.

4. As much as we try to invision our future, we have no idea what God has in store for us. Remember in January when I wrote this, I had NO IDEA {not even an inkling} that God would be preparing me for a move where I would do life day-in-day-out with these friends. I don’t think I can say it better than I said it then.

As hard as I try, as creatively as dream, I can not even begin to imagine what God has in store for me tomorrow, next week, or next year.

I know that there will be strangers who become friends, and friends who will become strangers. I know that there will be sadness and joy, love and heartbreak, death and new life. But I can’t begin to imagine the possibility that is in store.

So, here’s to 2011 and to a God who is weaving together a beautiful story that is simply and wonderfully unfathomable!

5. Road trips are for indulgences. And the ultimate indulgence de jour is the Nutter Butter Blizzard from Dairy Queen. I know that this seems a little out of place here but if you takeaway anything from this post, takeaway this…you need to indulge in a Cool Treat next time you pass a DQ. Life is too short not to.

What have you been learning lately?

PS – See you tomorrow California. Nashville, I miss you already! Thank you for being so incredibly wonderful to me.

Gosh, sorry I haven’t written since the big news. I meant to, but time has sort of escaped me.

How have I been doing???

Well, I have been a tad overwhelmed.

The logistics of moving to California are far more complicated than I imagined.  Figuring out where to live and how to get my self, my belongings and my car from Nashville to Orange County has been pretty much all consuming. Not to mention the plotting of a lot difficult goodbyes.

And, for the better part of last week I was gripped with fear.

Can I really do this? What was I thinking? Moving to Southern California…the land of earthquakes and Real Housewives?  Who am I? Without Nashville, my friends, my church, and my dog? {Yeah, I came to the brutal decision to send Molly to reside in Texas with my parents than force her to accompany me as I get settled. Brutal.}

But…things are looking up.

I am feeling more cool, calm, and collected as the plan begins coming together. And I know this sounds corny and perhaps a little hyper-spiritual but Sunday as I sat in church I couldn’t miss the little confirmations, the gifts of reassurance, from God that this is the right move. And that I am not taking this leap alone.

From the gripping lyrics of Healer, “Nothing is impossible with You. You hold my world in Your hands.” To Pete Wilson’s poignant message about what being radically devoted to Christ looks like. To watching the waves crash on a rocky beach as Merlyn Catron sang, “Where you go, I’ll go. Where you stay, I’ll stay. When you move, I’ll move. I will follow you.” To the perfectly timed text message from Tyler Merrick nudging the Project 7 team to, “Look for His details in the tapestry of your life today and this week.”

He won’t let me endeavor to think I am taking this leap alone.

Praise. The. Lord.

Enough about me. Has He sent you any gifts of reassurance lately?

So a week from today is my last official day at Thomas Nelson. How crazy is that? It feels crazy, really crazy. And I am still sorting through my plethora of emotions…sadness, happiness, excitement, fear, optimism, and of course grief.

As I read through the emails, comments and twitter encouragement after my announcement, I was struck by how many people are feeling unsettled in their careers. I think part of that is a tension that we should always live in, after all this is not the place are destined for, this is not our eternal home. But I also think that there is a time to be bold, be courageous and follow our hearts. That there is a time when in fact God is nudging us to make a move.

Once I knew it was time for me to make a move, I began to process through what it might look like to leave well. Because the last thing I want to do is blow-up four years of hard-earned trust and respect. Here are a few things I am learning about leaving well:

1. Have an open and honest conversation with your employer. As soon as you have made a decision about leaving, have a discussion with your boss or HR executive about what it might like for you to leave well. (Now I know that this won’t work for everyone, but I have a feeling you would be surprised at how smoothly this conversation will go if you are open and honest with your employer.)

2. Make a transition plan. Outline current projects and ongoing responsibilities and create a plan to bring them to completion or find someone to oversee them until permanent replacement is found. Try to prevent anything from slipping through the proverbial cracks.

3. Stay in touch. Make it clear that you don’t want to leave them in a lurch. Leave  cell phone numbers and email addresses and encourage colleagues to use them as need arises. Because 9 times out of 10, need will arise.

Have you ever left a job? What other things did you do to ensure you left well?

I wrote the following post a year ago today. (One of my favorite things about blogging is how it becomes a living record of where you have been, what you have done, and what you felt.)

In some ways I am still struggling with this sense of unease. And in some ways I am finally seeing what God was doing in me.

I don’t know really what it is. But something is definitely going on with me.

Probably the best way to explain it is to say I just don’t feel like myself. I feel like a stranger in my own skin. Or more accurately, I don’t feel like I am the same girl that I was last year, last week, or even last night.

I am smack dab in the middle of a season of change.

I am experiencing the pains that are representative of growth, but I can’t quite see the changes in the mirror. What used to fit now feels strangely uncomfortable like last year’s skinny jeans but I haven’t figured out what alternations need to be made to embrace the transformed me.

So here I sit in limbo land, not comfortable living in the past and not sure what the future holds, yet feeling strangely encouraged. Encouraged because I am confident that my discomfort is a road sign reassuring my path; my trepidation is a herald of the extraordinary adventure that lies ahead; my anxiousness a reminder that I am fully living in the present.

And I refuse to be a hostage to my past or my future.

“And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.” – 2 Corinthians 3:18 from The Message

Does any of this sound familiar to you? This kind of unfamiliar and scary, but exhilarating spell of change?

I knew I was going to have a crazy busy spring. In fact, a few months ago, I wrote that Spring was going “to send my calm, serene existence sailing.” But I had no idea just how depleted this season would leave me. I could have never have predicted that in the midst of back-to-back trips that I’d be struggling with flood clean-up and finding a new place to live. I didn’t know just how frenzied Spring could be.

Here we are on the cusp of a new season and I am in serious need of a reset. For the first time in my life, I am craving introspection and rest. Two things I typically avoid like a plague.

Here are 5 things I plan to do to rejuvenate.

I am going take a relaxing beach vacation. My last several  vacations have been fun, even rewarding, but not so much relaxing. On Wednesday, I am heading to the beach with a close friend, a ziplock full of sunblock, and a stack of books. I plan on doing some serious unwinding.

I am going to stay put. I have been traveling too much. For a season, I need to be in Nashville so I can recreate some healthy routines like exercising, cooking, serving at Cross Point, and enjoying time with close friends.

I am going to be more intentional about what opportunities I say “yes” to. I am one of those people who says “yes” to almost everything. Honestly, more often than not, saying “no” makes me feel guilty. But I am realizing that saying “no” allows me to say “yes” to something important down the road.

I am going to ask myself some hard questions. Over the last few months, I’ve realized that I don’t know myself as well as I’d like to. It’s time to do a little soul-searching. And hopefully I’ll uncover a handful of things that energize and inspire me.

I am going to blog more consistently. I know this sounds counter-intuitive, committing to post more, but I’ve discovered that blogging is therapeutic. It forces me to find time alone to process and to make sense of the thoughts spinning out-of-control in my brain.

Are you in need of rest? What do you do to rejuvenate yourself?

Probably the best way to explain it is to say I just don’t feel like myself. I feel like a stranger in my own skin. Or more accurately, I don’t feel like I am the same girl that I was last year, last week, or even last night.

I am smack dab in the middle of a season of change.

I am experiencing the pains that are representative of growth, but I can’t quite see the changes in the mirror. What used to fit now feels strangely uncomfortable like last year’s skinny jeans but I haven’t figured out what alternations need to be made to embrace the transformed me.

So here I sit in limbo land, not comfortable living in the past and not sure what the future holds, yet feeling strangely encouraged. Encouraged because I am confident that my discomfort is a road sign reassuring my path; my trepidation is a herald of the extraordinary adventure that lies ahead; my anxiousness a reminder that I am fully living in the present.

And I refuse to be a hostage to my past or my future.

“And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God center our lives and we become like him.” – 2 Corinthians 3:18 from The Message

Does any of this sound familiar to you? This kind of unfamiliar and scary, but exhilarating spell of change?

Seriously, dead on. Have you ever taken a moment to think about all the heartbreak that you have experienced? Heartbreak that was in fact a huge blessing in disguise? For some reason on my drive back from Birmingham, this is exactly what I was thinking about.

I came up with a long list full of unexpected “blessings.” Here’s a very short sampling -  job promotions deserved but not attained, relationships that ended too abruptly, loyalties betrayed.

A slew of things have happened that were terrible, tragic, and agonizing. Life-changing. A slew of things have happened that turned out to be what I never knew I wanted, what I needed, and the catalyst that forced me to make some long over-due decisions. Life-changing.

But these “tragedies” have brought me to where I am today. Even though in the midst of them, I prayed, begged, pleaded for a different outcome, now that I can clearly see that they are stitches in God’s amazing handiwork, I am so thankful for each of these unexpected “blessings.”

I always come back to this verse.

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. – Jeremiah 29:11-12

I hope and pray that next time “tragedy” strikes, I will remain faithful knowing that I am in great hands.

For instance, if someone’s tweets are constantly whines and complaints, I start to think they are negative. I start to change the way that I interact with them, in person and online.

And the reverse is true too. I feel myself drawn to friends on Twitter who are constantly encouraging and educating. I enjoy interacting with these tweeps. I am happy to pass along (RT) their tweets.

And I consciously think…I want to be more like those people.

And so Twitter has changed me. It has served as a daily gut-check. Am I being a person that people want to be around? Am I being the person that God created me to be?

If the answer is no (as it sometimes, alright often, is), I am taking time to try to get my head and my heart right.

This is just one more reason why I love Twitter…

How has Twitter changed you?

My first real experience with change was when I was elementary school. My family moved the summer between 3rd and 4th grade and I had to change schools. It was traumatic. I made the change, but there was plenty of kicking and screaming (Literally kicking and screaming, usually my classmates).  But life went on, I made new friends, and I realized that change wasn’t so bad. More recently, at my last employer, Books-A-Million, in five years I had five different roles (Special Events Manager, Assistant Buyer, Buyer, Director of Special Events and Director of Advertising and Promotions). Man, did we waste some business cards! But I learned a ton, worked for some amazing people, and the depth of experience I accumulated has been wonderful for my career.

Candidly, even though I embrace the process of change, sometimes I do not enjoy the effects of change. And when that happens, I really have to work at staying positive and trying to find the good in the situation. There is always good in the situation, whether it be personal growth or strengthened faith.

I realize that I am probably in the minority here. There are people who are hoping and praying that there world will stay exactly the same. Unfortunately for them, it just won’t happen like that. (You might have read that we announced some pretty significant changes at Thomas Nelson earlier today). So below are a few resources for dealing with change:

Who Moved My Cheese? - A wonderful allegory about dealing with organizational change.

Orbiting the Giant Hairball – My friend and former boss, Jeff Skipper, gave me this book before I started work at Thomas Nelson. It is a hilarious look at how to emerge from the impenetrable mass of rules and systems.

Managing Transitions – Deals with the human side of organizational change.

How do you handle change? Do you have any resources for those who are struggling in the midst of change?