Yesterday was just another day, in a series of REALLY LONG DAYS.

It was just a tactical conversation, really. A conversation about needing to consolidate my “stuff” in the garage. The thing that set me off. The final straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back.

I rushed into my temporary “home”, a room that is about the size of a closet. I slammed the door, turned off the light, crawled into bed and wept.

I wept for an hour…at least. I wept out of shear exhaustion. I wept because I couldn’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep in my incredibly comfortable queen-sized bed. I wept because I couldn’t seem to handle one more to do. I wept for Nashville. I wept for Bellevue. I wept for Crosspoint. I wept out of fear, anger, pride, pain, guilt, thankfulness, and love. I wept because I finally hit my wall.

Have you hit you wall yet?

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

Last Friday I wrote that I had a heavy heart.

Today I am just spent. Spent. Literally I’ve got nothing. Nothing.

Around noon on Sunday I returned to Nashville to be greeted by a few inches of standing water in my basement apartment. My roommate and I spent the better part of the day futilely sweeping water and salvaging items that might be affected if the water rose dramatically.

Monday, thankfully, the waters began to recede and a team of friends appeared to help move all my stuff to a temporary home and to tear out carpet and flooring. We got everything clean and ready for the professionals to takeover, but it became obvious that the space won’t be livable for awhile. Bummer.

Here is what I know:

I have a lot I need to figure out. Most importantly, I need to find new place to live. Quickly. Like by May 15 quickly. (If anyone has any ideas I am looking for a 1-2 bedroom place in Nashville that allows a medium sized dog.)

The next few weeks are going to be filled with uncertainty. Unfortunately uncertainty isn’t really my strong-suit.

I am blessed because the majority of my things are safe and dry. There are thousands of people who lost everything.

Our community is amazingly generous and resilient. I have never been more proud of my church, my neighbors, and my workplace.

And lastly…I am spent. Oh, I said that already…twice.

If you’d like to help flood Nashville flood victims, Cross Point has teams of folks meeting at the Bellevue campus and working everyday this week from 9 AM to 4 PM. For more information, visit here.

Out-of-towners, you can help too. Cross Point has set up a flood relief fund. Donate here.

Sometimes it is easier to focus on the things I don’t have. But I’ve found that’s no way to live.

Instead I want to be someone who constantly feels blessed. Because in all reality I have everything I need, and more. So in honor of the season of Thanksgiving, I have decided to publicly express my gratitude this week on my blog for some of my many blessings.

I am thankful for  CrossPoint Community Church . (more…)

Have you ever sat in church and felt like your pastor, priest, or minister is speaking directly to you? Or actually that God is screaming at the top of His lungs at you through your pastor, priest, or minister? And instantly a gut-wrenching conviction bombards your soul. Unfortunately, I know this feeling all too well. Selfishly I so wish I could sit through just one message and think, “I am so on top of this, God. I’ve already got this one covered.” But somehow I doubt I will ever get there.

Last Sunday at Cross Point, Pete encouraged us to take a moment and ask God if there was something, anything, He was asking us to do that we were neglecting. Painful question, right? Because of course, several things came to mind. Several things that I knew God was calling me to take care of and I was avoiding. Or maybe I wasn’t completely avoiding them, but I wasn’t quite doing them either. Several things God was asking me to change, but candidly I was still trying to negotiate the deal with God (But I guess that is not really how it works?) (more…)

This Spring in my Crosspoint Community Group, we have been studying a book called Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero. Big title, right? It’s a big study too. It is the kind of book that makes you dig deep, ask tough questions, and work through your issues – and let’s face it we all have issues.

Last week the focus of the study was on Chapter 7, “Growing into an Emotionally Healthy Adult.” We talked about the importance of loving others maturely — treating them as human beings uniquely created by Christ instead of as a means to an end or an object. Easier said then done, right? During the conversation, Jenni Catron said, quoting Pete Wilson (who was perhaps quoting someone else but I have no idea whom – maybe this lady or maybe this man or maybe someone else entirely?), “Hurt people, hurt people.” (more…)