Moving can be hard. A thirty-fifth birthday can be hard. Together they became the double whammy that did me in…at least for a couple of days.

But sometime Wednesday morning the tide turned. And instead of grieving faraway friends, failed attempts at romance, and fruitless dreams, I started seeing the love that I often take for granted.

It was everywhere once I just opened my heart wide enough to see it, and receive it.

A hijacked blog. Love.

A Facebook wall and Twitter feed full of familiar faces sharing their birthday greetings. Love.

A Skype call with my three favorite nieces. Love.

Not one, or two, but three beautiful bouquets of flowers. Love.

A leisurely birthday lunch with a team of co-workers. Love.

A post-Rooted birthday tapas celebration. Love.

The perfect birthday dessert, a “colossal cupcake” from Crumbs. Love.

A weekend with a dear friend I’ve known for the better part of the last decade. Love.

Everywhere. Love.

Even in  the suddenly dulled aching of my grief. Love.

As my sweet friend Ann Voskamp says, “All’s grace.” Yes. Love is near. We just need to open our eyes, and our hearts, and delight in Him and His gifts.

Where have you seen Love lately?  

The bulk of the first two weeks was spent enjoying my three nieces who were visiting from their home in Raleigh. We had so much fun, experiencing a Texas safari, swimming every afternoon at the pool, and boating on Lake Texoma. Those girls have some energy. I have a new appreciation for moms everywhere!

And then last week was filled up with coffee dates {nope, not that kind}, lunch meetings, and the Echo Conference. One of the highlights was having the opportunity to introduce some friends to my parents, show them where I grew up, and serve them one of my dad’s famous margaritas. Good times.

The last couple of days things have settled down and I am getting ready to disappear for some much-needed alone time. Tomorrow I am heading to the lake for a couple of days to read, think, process, dream, and finally finish some homework a friend gave me in January {yep, just call me slacker}.

Then, Friday, Nashville.

Oh, how I’ve missed Nashville.

What’s going on in your world? Is your summer flying by too?

The more “free” time I have, the harder it is for me to get things done.

Since I left my job at Thomas Nelson three weeks ago, I have felt more behind than ever. My inbox certainly isn’t anywhere near zero. My blog has been for-all-practical-matters abandoned. And my life, and my home, are just plain messy.

I wouldn’t say I have been wasting time…exactly.

In fact, my priorities seem crystal clear.

For once in my life, I haven’t been all about “getting things done.” But rather “loving others well.”

And so I’ve chosen waiting in line in the Texas heat so that my three nieces can experience the magic that is an In-N-Out burger,  juggling two leashes and my favorite 3-almost-4 year old for an evening stroll around the block so that the dogs can go “poopie”, and listening to Macon {the 9-year-old skeptic} and Anne Shelton {the 7-year-old daredevil} recount their first-and-totally-epic trip to Six Flags Over Texas.

And hopefully the other things can wait…

Do you have a hard time getting things done in your “free” time?

Tomorrow I am packing up my car and my dog and heading to Texas for three weeks.

Three weeks.

I haven’t spent that much time in Texas in the last ten years. And of course, I pick three of the hottest weeks of the year. {I need to have my head checked.}

“Why would you submit yourself to such torturous heat and humidity?,”  you ask.

Well, several reasons.

First and most importantly, I am going to spend some quality time with the family. While my immediate family is typically spread across the Southern half of United States, for the month of July everyone is congregating in Dallas. And I realized this might be my only opportunity to experience a true “summer vacation” with my three adorable-but-growing-like-weeds nieces. I am stoked to be a part of their daily lives for several weeks.

I want to hang out with friends, old and new. There are a host of people in Texas that I love that I never get to see. I hope over the next few weeks I can change that.

I need to get out of Nashville and force myself to find some time and space to dream. So far, my job search has consisted of me reacting to one opportunity or another. Don’t get me wrong, I realize how extraordinarily blessed I am to have opportunities to react to. But I also know how desperately I need to pause, take deep breaths and allow myself to process through what I want my life, and my next career move, to look like. Even though it totally freaks me out.

And lastly, I am attending the Echo Conference. Some of my favorite creatives are descending upon Dallas, Texas, from July 27th to the 29th. And you all know, I am a girl who hates missing a good conference.

I am going to miss Nashville, my church, my friends, my people, but I am sure looking forward to my Texas-sized road trip.

So, the question of the day is, what music, podcasts and/or audio books do you recommend for my road trip tomorrow? 

Oh, and if you are in Texas. Look me up. I would love to see you!

I have been traveling the last five weekends.

I don’t how it happened exactly. I would have never planned it that way but…

There was a wedding of a close friend and co-worker in Dallas. There was a Women of Faith conference that my sister and Bianca could attend. There was a baby shower in Birmingham that I was helping host. There was Thanksgiving in Asheville with the whole family. There was a reunion of Compassion Bloggers at Deeper Still.

They all seemed like opportunities I could not turn down. So I went. Every weekend. For the last five weekends.

And it wore me out. My house is a wreck. My bills are piled up high on my desk waiting to be paid. My puppy has been neglected. My friends haven’t been properly loved on. My life is in general disarray.

But I learned a lesson. There is always a lesson.

I need to learn to say “no.” (Let’s practice it together…”nooooooo.”) I need to build more margin in my life. I need to build in down time so I can fully enjoy the experiences I say “yes” to. This is key…I found myself so tired last weekend in Birmingham that I couldn’t fully revel in the incredible opportunity at hand. (Shame on me.) I found myself knowing exactly what Beth meant when she said, “Our treasure gets lost in the same trash as our time. Where there is no margin, there is no treasure.”

In 2011, I am going to TRY to living with a new rule.

I will be in town at least 2 weekends a month.

We’ll see if I can do it. In the meantime, I am going to enjoy being in Nashville the next few weekends.

What kinds of boundaries do you put around your time?

Happy Thanksgiving y’all. I am in Asheville, North Carolina, with the whole clan. We have four generations gathered together to celebrate. And I am so thankful. Today I have a VERY SPECIAL guest-poster. My eight-year-old niece Macon is going to share about Thanksgiving.

Hi.  I am Macon and I am thankful for a lot of things, but I am only sharing a couple of all of those things today.  The definite thing I am most thankful for would be my family (including my Aunt Lulu a.k.a. Lindsey), 2nd would be may house, 3rd would be food (that includes drinks), 4th would be my family’s (My mom, dad, and sisters) compassion kid (her name is Sandra and lives in Guatemala isn’t that awesome?!!!), 5th is all the trips I’ve been on like Londen, Salzburg, Germany, Texas, and Alabama (that is where my aunt used to live), and so many more.

I think this holiday is called Thanksgiving because if you divide the word in half it should equal Thanks and Giving.  The part thanks means thank others and be thankful and the part that says giving means give to others.  So today remember to give and be thankful for the rest of the day.

That is sometings that I am thankful for and what I think thanksgiving means.  Remember to go to macroot919.wordpress.com to see my blog.  Bye!

I have always loved that Lyle Lovett song.

See I was born and raised in Texas
And it means so much to me
Though my girl comes from down in Georgia
We were up in Tennessee

And as we were driving down the highway
She asked me baby what’s so great
How come you’re always going on
About your Lone Star State

I said that’s right you’re not from Texas
That’s right you’re not from Texas
That’s right you’re not from Texas
But Texas wants you anyway

Because it is so true. People who aren’t from Texas just don’t get it. (Some of them want to get it. But most of the time they just don’t.)

There is something truly special about the beautiful Lone Star State.

Last week I got to go home and enjoy the best Texas has to offer…delicious Mexican food, extraordinary Spring weather, beautiful horses, glorious wildflowers, proudly weird Austin, and some extra-friendly folks. The trip was like food for my soul.

Thought I’d share a few of my favorite pictures from the trip!

I’m curious. Do you get why I’m “always going on” about my Lone Star state?

PS – I promise I will get to some of your questions soon

It is NOT PRETTY, but it is TRUE and REAL.

Yes, I know. I don’t really have ANYTHING to be grouchy about. All my fundamental needs are being met. I have a wonderful job, a loving family, and this fantastic group of friends. I belong to an incredible church. And I live in a country where I am allowed to dream of possibilities and work to make them a reality. I am set. Life is good.

But that doesn’t stop me from having days where the grouchy feelings cascade over me, mind and soul.

And today is one of those days where I am a little worn out with it all. Seriously…

I’m sick of being single. Sick, sick, sick of being single.

I’m sick of hearing that my friends wished they knew a man who was worthy of me. (I mean, what IN THE HECK does that mean?)

I’m sick of failing to find the right balance between doing too much and being really tired of being still.

But mostly, I’m sick of listening to myself complain.

So…

I am going to start thinking of things that make me smile. (Yes, I have probably seen The Sound of Music one too many times.)

I am going to think of things that are undeniably happy like…

Exploring the glorious Hill Country of Texas with my wide-eyed and totally precious nieces.

Waking to sunshine on a cool crisp spring morning.

Finding Van Morrison’s “Whenever God Shines a Light” when my ipod is on shuffle.

Absorbing the sites, sounds, and smells as one of my favorite bands take the stage at The Ryman Theatre.

Hearing spell-binding stories unfold as the Compassion bloggers report live on the ground in Kenya.

Enjoying a glass of wine on the beach as the sun sets with a close friend.

Watching one my best friends walk down the aisle before she marries the man of her dreams.

Now…what was I going on and on about before?

It’s your turn. Feel free to vent or share what makes you smile.

My “Blueprint” series is essentially a mechanism for me to start thinking through my life goals. And as hard humiliating as it is to admit some of the things I want to achieve in life, I am trying to be painfully honest because (for some crazy reason) I feel like I need to put them “out there.”

Part 1 – I want to get married.

Part 2 – I want to get fit.

Part 3 – I want to get my hands dirty.

Part 4 - I want to cultivate deep and authentic friendships.

And today I am tackling a biggie….

I want to have kids.

(Please remember I am not a whiny girl who is unhappy with her life, with the cards she’s been dealt. Nothing could be further from the truth. My life is full. But if I am honest, before it is all said and done, I want to raise kids, to have a family of my own.)

Candidly this goal is almost impossible to verbalize, because it seems SO FAR out of reach. I don’t feel like I have “earned” the right to want kids. I am not married. Heck, I am not even dating anyone. And I am 33.

But I am coming to terms with this very real desire. And here is how:

I am only 33. With modern science, I could have a child well into my 40s. And even though 43 seems right around the corner, it is 10 years from now. 10 years is a long time, 10 years ago I was 23, and 23 feels FOREVER ago.

I don’t need to have a little mini-me or a little mini-man. I can adopt. This was something I had never thought about until I sat in Catalyst last fall and learned about the 143 million orphans in this world. Yes, that is correct, there are 143 million orphans worldwide. Seems awfully silly that I would walk around burying my dream of being a mother, when so many kids are mother-less.  And even though this is not something I envision myself doing in the next couple of years, it is something I would like to do. So right now, I need to save, so that when I am a little older (and more mature), I am a place where it is financially feasible to adopt.

I have a lot of kids in my life that I can invest in right now. I am “Lulu” to 3 adorable nieces, to my goddaughter, and to several of my close friends’ kids. I can work to be a loving and supportive constant in their lives. I sponsor children through WorldVision and Compassion. I need to do a better job investing in Deva and Workeeb through letter writing. And I just got a “lunch buddy” through Preston Taylor ministries. Each week, I am committed to spending an hour with Jaheem. He’s got a mother, but I can be a positive adult role model and a friend.

So…who knows? Maybe someday I will have kids of my own?

All I can do with this one is trust in His plan, pray, and be prepared if when the opportunity presents itself.

Have you buried any dreams because you don’t feel like you’ve “earned” the right to want them?

So admittedly this random bunch of photos instead the beautiful gallery of my dreams but at least you will get to share in some of my favorite Christmas moments from 2009.

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I did. I loved being with my family. I loved watching the girls open up their presents. And I loved getting pampered at Pinehurst. (I know, it is about building character not being comfortable but a little pampering sure is nice.)

My favorite quotes were when my niece Macon told her father, “Dad, Lulu (that’s me) knows everything so don’t mess with her.” Yes, she is a brilliant 7 year old.

And I probably will get in trouble for this one but I thought it was hilarious. After having a conversation about using the Lord’s name in vain my sister reprimanded 5 year old Anne Shelton by asking, “do you want to be left behind?” I misunderstood and thought she was talking about “the second coming” and questioned her thinking it was a wee bit extreme. Thankfully she just was asking Anne Shelton if she wanted to be left out of the fun afternoon activities.

Any fun stories you want to share?