The bulk of the first two weeks was spent enjoying my three nieces who were visiting from their home in Raleigh. We had so much fun, experiencing a Texas safari, swimming every afternoon at the pool, and boating on Lake Texoma. Those girls have some energy. I have a new appreciation for moms everywhere!

And then last week was filled up with coffee dates {nope, not that kind}, lunch meetings, and the Echo Conference. One of the highlights was having the opportunity to introduce some friends to my parents, show them where I grew up, and serve them one of my dad’s famous margaritas. Good times.

The last couple of days things have settled down and I am getting ready to disappear for some much-needed alone time. Tomorrow I am heading to the lake for a couple of days to read, think, process, dream, and finally finish some homework a friend gave me in January {yep, just call me slacker}.

Then, Friday, Nashville.

Oh, how I’ve missed Nashville.

What’s going on in your world? Is your summer flying by too?

Tomorrow I am packing up my car and my dog and heading to Texas for three weeks.

Three weeks.

I haven’t spent that much time in Texas in the last ten years. And of course, I pick three of the hottest weeks of the year. {I need to have my head checked.}

“Why would you submit yourself to such torturous heat and humidity?,”  you ask.

Well, several reasons.

First and most importantly, I am going to spend some quality time with the family. While my immediate family is typically spread across the Southern half of United States, for the month of July everyone is congregating in Dallas. And I realized this might be my only opportunity to experience a true “summer vacation” with my three adorable-but-growing-like-weeds nieces. I am stoked to be a part of their daily lives for several weeks.

I want to hang out with friends, old and new. There are a host of people in Texas that I love that I never get to see. I hope over the next few weeks I can change that.

I need to get out of Nashville and force myself to find some time and space to dream. So far, my job search has consisted of me reacting to one opportunity or another. Don’t get me wrong, I realize how extraordinarily blessed I am to have opportunities to react to. But I also know how desperately I need to pause, take deep breaths and allow myself to process through what I want my life, and my next career move, to look like. Even though it totally freaks me out.

And lastly, I am attending the Echo Conference. Some of my favorite creatives are descending upon Dallas, Texas, from July 27th to the 29th. And you all know, I am a girl who hates missing a good conference.

I am going to miss Nashville, my church, my friends, my people, but I am sure looking forward to my Texas-sized road trip.

So, the question of the day is, what music, podcasts and/or audio books do you recommend for my road trip tomorrow? 

Oh, and if you are in Texas. Look me up. I would love to see you!

It is NOT PRETTY, but it is TRUE and REAL.

Yes, I know. I don’t really have ANYTHING to be grouchy about. All my fundamental needs are being met. I have a wonderful job, a loving family, and this fantastic group of friends. I belong to an incredible church. And I live in a country where I am allowed to dream of possibilities and work to make them a reality. I am set. Life is good.

But that doesn’t stop me from having days where the grouchy feelings cascade over me, mind and soul.

And today is one of those days where I am a little worn out with it all. Seriously…

I’m sick of being single. Sick, sick, sick of being single.

I’m sick of hearing that my friends wished they knew a man who was worthy of me. (I mean, what IN THE HECK does that mean?)

I’m sick of failing to find the right balance between doing too much and being really tired of being still.

But mostly, I’m sick of listening to myself complain.

So…

I am going to start thinking of things that make me smile. (Yes, I have probably seen The Sound of Music one too many times.)

I am going to think of things that are undeniably happy like…

Exploring the glorious Hill Country of Texas with my wide-eyed and totally precious nieces.

Waking to sunshine on a cool crisp spring morning.

Finding Van Morrison’s “Whenever God Shines a Light” when my ipod is on shuffle.

Absorbing the sites, sounds, and smells as one of my favorite bands take the stage at The Ryman Theatre.

Hearing spell-binding stories unfold as the Compassion bloggers report live on the ground in Kenya.

Enjoying a glass of wine on the beach as the sun sets with a close friend.

Watching one my best friends walk down the aisle before she marries the man of her dreams.

Now…what was I going on and on about before?

It’s your turn. Feel free to vent or share what makes you smile.

Eve said that when she turned 30 she sat down and created three lists: Very Important People, Very Draining People, and Very Negative People. Once her lists were complete, she intentionally figured out how she could invest more time and energy in her “VIPs.” Inversely she intentionally reduced her interactions with her “VDPs” and “VNPs.”

The minute I heard this I was completely energized. As I began to visualize myself scaling back on some of the painful relationships in my life, I felt instant relief.

I have no problem sitting down and filing people into these categories. Important. Negative. Draining.

But I just can’t seem to wrap my head around how to minimize my investment in people I find draining or negative.

Maybe it is because I am a COWARD?

Maybe it is because I want EVERYONE to like me?

Maybe it is because I am TERRIBLE at saying no?

Maybe it is because I don’t have any CLARITY about how this syncs up with our call as Christians to love our neighbor?

Maybe it is because I have created some FALSE assumption that the negative and draining people in my life NEED me?

I need your wisdom on this one. Have you done this with any success? How do scale back on relationships without too much carnage? How do you tell someone you love them but you just can’t do life with them anymore?

With all this traveling, another thing that has been neglected is my blog. So this is a quick play-by-play with some of my favorite photos, of course.

Bonnaroo Music Festival - I met several friends in Manchester, Tennessee, for a day and a half of music and catching up with old friends. I caught sets from Wilco, “The Boss”, Jenny Lewis, Nine Inch Nails, and my personal favorite Ben Harper. I reconnected with several old friends that had traveled from Tennessee and beyond to take in the festival. And although I admired how hardcore all the campers were, I was relieved to be able to rest my head and take a warm shower at Manchester’s new Comfort Inn. If you haven’t ever experienced Bonnaroo, I would highly recommend checking it out. It truly is a site to behold.

Rosemary Beach - For the last three summers, I have vacationed in Rosemary Beach, Florida, with one of my closest friends Kristie and her daughter Sarah Trammell, who is my goddaughter. This trip is good for me. It is good for me because not only to I get some quality-time with Kristie and her family, but also I get some quality-time with me. I sunned, I played, I acted like a kid at Big Kahuna, I enjoyed the quaint beauty of Rosemary, and I read and read. I finished two of the best books I have EVER read, Richard Stearns’ The Hole in Our Gospel and Donald Miller’s fall release A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and two uber-light beach reads.

Dallas and Lake Texoma – My sister Marcie lives in North Carolina. Each summer she packs up her three little ones and heads to Texas in the heat of the summer to spend two weeks with my parents. I flew down and hung out with the family one of the weekends that they were there. We enjoyed the two best things Dallas has to offer, good restaurants and sh0pping. And then fled the big city and had an overnight at Lake Texoma. Being on the water is the ONLY thing that made the Texas heat bearable. Oh and enjoying my adorable nieces. They make EVERYTHING bearable.

Elk River – Last weekend, twenty friends and I headed to a river house on the Elk (a tributary of the Tennesse River). We laughed, played card and board games, ping-ponged, skied, went on boat rides, inner-tubed, jet-skied, hammocked, jumped off the diving board, read magazines, sunned, swam, BBQed, drank and ate. (Actually we ate A LOT.) And we didn’t turn on the television once. Mostly we just enjoyed each other. It was a perfect weekend. (I just hope that someday soon the soreness from all the “river fun” will wear off. Because right now walking is challenging.)

Next up: A quick low-key weekend getaway to Raleigh, North Carolina, to hang out with Marcie, Stephen, and the girls. Thankfully this is my last trip of the summer (or it least that is the plan but I’m gonna be honest, I am not very good at saying no to adventure).

How has your summer been? What memories have you created?

Oh, I just realized I haven’t given you a clue of what I am talking about. Well, here it is…

So I finally did it! I finally created a profile on one of those internet dating sites. After I got all your feedback a few months ago, stewed over the responses, and had some free time at the beach, I decided to take the plunge and sign up.

I had no problem answering the questions about myself or opening up my wallet and dolling out the monthly fee, but unfortunately that is as far as I got. Or as far as I will get. But it is not a total waste, I did figure out one thing.

Internet dating is not for me, at least right now. And here’s why:

• I love meeting people, but I do not love reading (or more accurately judging) their profiles.
• I love getting to know someone slowly and learning about whether or not we are compatible, but I do not love reading someones carefully crafted answers to some fill-in-the-blanks.
• I love opening up to others (slowly as it is appropriate), but I don’t love trying to create a me that looks good on paper.
• Oh and most importantly, I don’t love rejecting communication from potential suitors when I have never spoken to them. But I have this feeling that I don’t want to ever speak to them. EVER.

So I am shutting it down for now.

And focusing on enjoying my days, building my character, being a loyal friend, all the while hoping/praying that someday I bump into “the one.” Because I trust that God has a plan for me. One that is better than I can imagine for myself.

Important disclaimer for this post. Mom/Dad – I am certain you have now read this post and have some opinions about it. I know that you are looking forward to sharing them with me this weekend. I know that you just want the best for me. And that you think I deserve a wonderful life filled with a wonderful man and some wonderful kids. But I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. I do not want to talk about whether I think there are single men in Nashville. If you must, share your thoughts with my sweet sister who can try to pass them along in a gentle sweet sisterly way. Oh, and I love you guys so much and can’t wait to see you too!

To make me feel better about all this, will you please tell me how you meet your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend?

Yellow

And as Michael Hyatt, would say it was a “wow experience.”

And it was not just a “wow experience” because I had low expectations. My Birmingham friends had certainly built the experience up during long play-by-play recaps on the phone and on Facebook.

Seriously here is a small sampling of status updates the day after their Birmingham show:

“Breathless. What an amazing show.”

“The most spectacular show to hit Birmingham since the Flaming Lips.”

“Life-changing!” (This was my favorite. I mean, I love live music. I love ColdPlay. But really life-changing? Give me a break.)

The ColdPlay concert was a “wow experience” because it rocked my already bloated expectations. It was truly spectacular.

From the first song to the very last, every moment was perfectly choreographed. I was emersed in the music. I was amazed by giant balloons, confetti, and video projections. I was mesmerized by the sheer energy of Chris Martin, Johny Buckland, Guy Berryman, and Will Chapman. And I was delighted to leave with a Left Right Left Right Left CD.

ColdPlay

I don’t know that it changed my life but it was one of the best concerts I have ever seen. And I have seen a lot of shows. If you have the opportunity, I would highly recommend catching a ColdPlay show. You won’t regret it!

What is the best concert you have ever seen? What made it stand out?

Allison, Sarah and I - Jordan Vineyard, Sonoma Valley, Memorial Day 2009

I never had much of a singing voice (actually I never had ANY of a singing voice) but those lyrics sung over-and-over again in a round stuck with me. But I am not sure that I understood what they meant until now. I never understood how important it is to value both old and new friends, because each are precious treasures.

But something about my trip last week to California made me understand the truth in those words. Something about hanging out with friends from different stages of my life – childhood in Dallas, college in Colorado, post-graduate life in Alabama, and my current world in Tennessee – gave the lyrics a whole new meaning.

The collision of these women, each from a special phase of my life, enabled me to fully embrace who I am, where I have come from, and where I want to go. I am so grateful for these and all the “real” friendships in my life. I treasure each one for its uniqueness. And as much as I loved the sunny weather, the beautiful vineyards, the decadent meals, and the needless shopping, spending time with “my girls” was the best part of my trip.

Have you reconnected with any old friends lately? Are you invested in making new friends? What have these relationships taught you about yourself?

My traveling companion is a good friend, Sarah, who I have gotten close to since I moved to Nashville. This summer Sarah is moving to Chicago – she got a fancy job to match her fancy degree from Owen — so this time with her will be exceptionally special. We will be joining forces with one of my best friends from Birmingham, Allison, who moved to San Francisco last year. I miss “Ali” so much and secretly pray that we will get her back to the South soon. Maybe I can convince her of this after a glass of wine or two? (Of course I am kidding, I would never do that )

Looks like the weather is going to be perfect. And by perfect I mean, high of 65, low of 55 and sunny. EVERYDAY we are there.

I was born a planner (hopefully this is not going to be a problem for my traveling companions) so we have a rough schedule working. There are a few things we have not ironed out. (Like when I will get to properly congratulate one of my childhood friends, Meredith, and her new fiancée.) But here is what we’ve got on the agenda so far:

Just a warning: I get really excited about restaurants, and we are going to one of the epicurean capitals of the World, so we’ll be carefully planning each meal.

Saturday - Arrive in San Francisco. Eat luch someplace fabulous (TBD). Take leisurely drive to Napa and enjoy some wineries. Dinner at Mustard’s. Spend the night in Napa.

Sunday – More wineries. More leisure. Lunch at Jordan. Maybe some shopping? Dinner someplace wonderful (TBD). Spend the night in Napa.

Monday – Wake up and head back to San Francisco. Sightsee. Eat. Shop. Dinner at Beetlenut with one of my best friends from college, Laura, who I have not seen since 1999 LITERALLY.

Tuesday – More of what we did on Monday. Dinner at Bar Tartine.

Wednesday – Catch a flight back to beautiful, and hopefully dry Tennessee.

Now do you get my uncontainable excitement? What fun trips do you have planned? What San Francisco must-sees are missing from our itinerary?

Last week the focus of the study was on Chapter 7, “Growing into an Emotionally Healthy Adult.” We talked about the importance of loving others maturely — treating them as human beings uniquely created by Christ instead of as a means to an end or an object. Easier said then done, right? During the conversation, Jenni Catron said, quoting Pete Wilson (who was perhaps quoting someone else but I have no idea whom – maybe this lady or maybe this man or maybe someone else entirely?), “Hurt people, hurt people.”

And something about this really simple statement provoked some really complex thoughts.

Because the statement implies, “Hurt people, hurt people, hurt people, hurt people…” Unless we stop this chain of hurt, it is endless. To you this may be painfully obvious, but I challenge you to spend some time thinking about it. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

I am starting to explore some of the darker areas of myself, areas that I have tried to ignore, areas that I have hoped to leave behind, areas that I am embarrassed to acknowledge. I am wondering, “how am I hurting?” And I am trying to take responsibility for healing these old wounds, in hopes that I can avoid inflicting my pain on others.

Also, I am giving those who have hurt me the benefit of the doubt (or making a valiant effort to). Acknowledging that they are probably hurting makes them relatable, and not just the source of my irritation.

We only have one more chapter of Emotionally Healthy Spirituality before this study ends and are looking for another book to study. Any recommendations?