I see myself in those kids. Especially the little girl who is trying to get to the bottom of why her mother would wrap up a half-eaten peanut butter sandwich and call it a gift. She isn’t trying to be high maintenance or particular. She doesn’t want to be disrespectful. She doesn’t want to hurt her mother’s feelings. But clearly she just doesn’t get it and she can’t hide her questions, her disappointment, and her frustration.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful. I don’t want my disappointment to be misconstrued for lack of love, faith, or even trust. I don’t want to want what I don’t have.

I know that I have received gifts many people would die for. A great job. A welcoming community. A beautiful place to live. An opportunity to speak into the lives of others. But while they are more than I deserve, they aren’t what my heart so primally desires. And some days what my heart desires feels farther away than ever. To be known. To find a person to share my life with. To raise kids. To leave a legacy of love.

So here I sit, wrestling, negotiating, pleading. Wondering why He is withholding ‘the good stuff’? Wondering why the desire lies in waiting? And wondering why I can’t continue to feign gratitude about my ‘half-eaten sandwich’?

 What are you feigning gratitude about? What are you wrestling over? 

Instead I want to be someone who constantly feels blessed. Because in all reality I have everything I need, and more. So in honor of the season of Thanksgiving, I have decided to publicly express my gratitude this week on my blog for some of my many blessings.

I am thankful for  CrossPoint Community Church .

I went through a phase when I wasn’t sure about the importance of church. I have said stupid things like, “I am a spiritual person, I’m just not super religious.” I truly believed I could just do my thing with God and I didn’t need to be “plugged in” to a religious body. But honestly after a few years of that kind of thinking, I discovered I wasn’t really even doing “my thing with God.” I was really doing my thing with me. And when I did find myself back in church, I couldn’t get past the vast distance between me and God. I wasn’t adequate. All I could see was sin, my sin.

And then I discovered CrossPoint Church.

A church where people live out the founders’ original vision. A church where people are radically devoted to Christ. A church where people are irrevocably committed to one another. A church place where people are relentlessly dedicated to reaching the unchurched.

A church where believers are stretched to live faithfully. A church where religious lies are questioned. A church where people are striving to “be the church.” A church where character is valued above comfort. A church where pastors are not perfect and don’t claim to be. A church where lives are changing. A church where I am changing.

I have been abundantly blessed by CrossPoint Church.

Thank you to EVERYONE (Pete, Jenni, campus pastors, staff, elders, board members, volunteers and attendees) who make it so extraordinary.

What is one thing you are thankful for today?