My “Blueprint” series is essentially a mechanism for me to start thinking through my life goals. And as hard humiliating as it is to admit some of the things I want to achieve in life, I am trying to be painfully honest because (for some crazy reason) I feel like I need to put them “out there.”

Part 1 – I want to get married.

Part 2 – I want to get fit.

Part 3 – I want to get my hands dirty.

Part 4 - I want to cultivate deep and authentic friendships.

And today I am tackling a biggie….

I want to have kids.

(Please remember I am not a whiny girl who is unhappy with her life, with the cards she’s been dealt. Nothing could be further from the truth. My life is full. But if I am honest, before it is all said and done, I want to raise kids, to have a family of my own.)

Candidly this goal is almost impossible to verbalize, because it seems SO FAR out of reach. I don’t feel like I have “earned” the right to want kids. I am not married. Heck, I am not even dating anyone. And I am 33.

But I am coming to terms with this very real desire. And here is how:

I am only 33. With modern science, I could have a child well into my 40s. And even though 43 seems right around the corner, it is 10 years from now. 10 years is a long time, 10 years ago I was 23, and 23 feels FOREVER ago.

I don’t need to have a little mini-me or a little mini-man. I can adopt. This was something I had never thought about until I sat in Catalyst last fall and learned about the 143 million orphans in this world. Yes, that is correct, there are 143 million orphans worldwide. Seems awfully silly that I would walk around burying my dream of being a mother, when so many kids are mother-less.  And even though this is not something I envision myself doing in the next couple of years, it is something I would like to do. So right now, I need to save, so that when I am a little older (and more mature), I am a place where it is financially feasible to adopt.

I have a lot of kids in my life that I can invest in right now. I am “Lulu” to 3 adorable nieces, to my goddaughter, and to several of my close friends’ kids. I can work to be a loving and supportive constant in their lives. I sponsor children through WorldVision and Compassion. I need to do a better job investing in Deva and Workeeb through letter writing. And I just got a “lunch buddy” through Preston Taylor ministries. Each week, I am committed to spending an hour with Jaheem. He’s got a mother, but I can be a positive adult role model and a friend.

So…who knows? Maybe someday I will have kids of my own?

All I can do with this one is trust in His plan, pray, and be prepared if when the opportunity presents itself.

Have you buried any dreams because you don’t feel like you’ve “earned” the right to want them?

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Something about Jimmy’s story broke my heart. But it broke my heart in a good way. Is that possible? Because Jimmy’s story reminded me that I can make a difference, I can help put an end to poverty in the world. But I need to DO SOMETHING.

I am still processing through the moment Catalyst so beautifully captured, still processing how I can make a difference in the lives of the children I sponsor through Compassion and WorldVision, and still processing what I should do with the knowledge and understanding that there are 143 MILLION ORPHANS in the world.

What did you learn from Jimmy’s story?

This weekend at the Women of Faith conference in Dallas, Texas, I was a part of something pretty amazing. I helped break a record. And not just some stupid record, but one that I can be proud of.

We (that is me and the other 15,999 attendees of the conference) broke the record for the for the most WorldVision children sponsored at a Women of Faith Conference EVER. Over 1,500 kids were sponsored. Over 1,500 lives were changed.

I sponsored a little girl named Workezeb from Ethiopia. She is 11 years old and I can’t wait to get to know her better. She will be a wonderful addition to my “family.” (I sponsored a 3 year old boy named Deva from India through Compassion this Spring. Gotta spread the love.)

I also gently suggested that my parents sponsor two WorldVision children. (Okay, I put on the hard sell, but don’t judge me because it worked.)

But really how could they say no? For $35 a month (less than dinner for two at a fancy restaurant), they could dramatically change the life of a child. They choose two little girls, one from Rwanda and one from Malawi.

And today I can say proudly, “Together, my parents, a lot of new friends, and I broke the most important record that I can imagine.”

Do you sponsor a child through WorldVision or Compassion? If not, what is stopping you?

Oh, more to come on my incredible experience in Dallas at Women of Faith. Still trying to figure out how to describe such an extraordinary weekend.