A Plea for Help

Late last week, my friend Trish called. She needed my help. Her plans had suddenly changed and she was scrambling to find folks to keep an eye on her three boys over the weekend. She asked if I would be willing to hang out with them on Sunday night. It was such an easy assignment. I told her, of course, I was more than happy to be able to help.

I hung up the phone feeling energized. I loved knowing that Trish trusted me enough to watch her precious sons. I loved knowing that I was on Trish’s radar as someone who could come through when she was in a pinch. I loved knowing, if for just one night, that Trish needed me. And I loved that I would have the opportunity to do a little something to show Trish how much her friendship means to me.

It made me realize something. I love helping others. But I HATE asking for help.

It’s stupid really…

I feel like I alone must assume responsibility for my sometimes overwhelming burdens.

I forget that I have friends and family who would love to feel trusted, seen, and needed.

I forget that I have a God that would love for me to come to Him, lay down my burdens, and celebrate real trust…and real freedom.

28 Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.   Matthew 11:28

How are you at asking for help? Is there anything I can help you with today?

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club. She spends her days (and some nights) laboring to end childhood hunger at Feed the Children and to gather, equip and unleash women at IF:Gathering.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • I’m *awful* at asking for help. I love that feeling of being helpful…but I want everyone else to think I’ve got it under control. My MIL is coming next week and I tend to get even more self-sufficient around her. Can you help me by praying that her visit goes smoothly and that I don’t offend her by refusing to allow her to help? That would be wonderful. 🙂 Hope you have a great day!

  • Such a great point. I don't ask for help well either and it gets me into all kinds of trouble. Will you help me with that 😉
    My recent post Monday Morning Musings

  • I know for me this is an issue of pride…I can be a good servant, though!!!
    Melissa, I'm the same with my MIL…prayer said for you and for her to accept all that you are in her life!

  • Lindsey…what a great post…the odd thing is, as we were driving to Florida, I told Trisha how proud of her I was that she was willing to ask for help. It is so against her nature to do so…and it really showed how far she has come. Sounds like you two are very much alike 🙂

  • I know what you mean, Lindsey. I've struggled with asking for help because it's so contrary from what we're taught even in Christian circles. (How sad is that?) It's awesome how you stepped up to help. My wife actually said to me today "we need to find a sitter for Julie so we can have a date tonight. Someone trustworthy like Lindsey Nobles."

    And…as for something you can help me on…I'm trying to really get the word out about The Home Foundation's benefit concert March 9th. A tweet or a post from you about it would be a big help. 🙂
    My recent post Blown away in 48 hours

    • Yes, I can RT about The Home Foundation. It's going to be a great event.

  • It seems that where my blog post gave some perspective on saying no; your blog post here has given me a better perspective on asking for help.

    I really struggle with asking for help because I want to be the answer guy. I want to be in control. I want people to come to me. But in reality I need people as much or more as the other guy.

    Thanks for the reminder that we need each other to make it. Great post!

  • Ali

    Oh, I am wonderful at asking for help, but I am not always the best at giving help. It has been so easy for me for years to depend on my friends to get me through difficult times because they are so patient and loving. But lately, I have realized that I am tired of always asking for and getting help. I want to be the one who helps others. And the more I stop talking about my "stuff"–meaning problems, issues, troubles–the more other people open up to me, share with me, and ask me for my help. And you know what? It feels wonderful to now be on the other side of the fence.

    And you have quoted one of my all-time favorite Bible verses. When I went through a difficult time recently, reading that verse over and over again really got me through–in addition to the kindness and compassion of those who love me.

    • I bet you are the helper more often than you realize.

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  • I do think part of the reason we don't ask for help is a control issue. We have to admit to ourselves we need help. I've learned that I may do a disservice to someone by not giving them the opportunity to serve.
    My recent post Of Close Calls and Frazzled Angels

  • i'm not very good at asking for help. the past 14 months of my life i've needed to be so dependent on other people… which should've made it easier to ask for help. but it hasn't. it's still really hard for me. but i know how much i enjoy getting to help others, and i've seen that joy in others who've been there for me… so it's something i want to get better at.
    My recent post monday morning confession:

    • baby steps…

      I need another visit to count down to. 6 weeks seems like a long time…

  • By far the best post I’ve read today. Keep it up. Hope to read more of the good stuff from your site.

  • I am SO THANKFUL for you! I delight in a God who has taught me to trust again and allow my heart to love friends deeply and yes…. even ask for help. Thank you for being one of those friends! My boys adore you AND your sweet MOLLY! 🙂 In the words of Elijah "YOU ROCK"!!!

  • I'm the same. Love to help but hate to ask for it! Well, it's not that I hate to ask for it per se, just that I feel bad imposing on people. But like Sandra says, I am just denying other people the opportunity to serve. I always wish people would allow me to serve them more. Got to lead by example I suppose!

    I am having a moderate to severe Crohn`s flare up. It`s pretty frustrating just not being able to do all that I`m used to doing (work, church, small group…etc). I saw my doc today and have to choose between two pretty serious meds tonight. I think I have chosen…and will have to learn how to self inject. Work has been pretty good about it all and I just pray they don't get weary. And I hope Canada doesn't decide to throw out my pending visa application cos I'm going to cost them too much! I would really appreciate prayer for all of this!

    Anything I can do for you in return? 🙂
    My recent post heart-quake and restoration

  • I'm the same. Love to help but hate to ask for it! Well, it's not that I hate to ask for it per se, just that I feel bad imposing on people. But like Sandra says, I am just denying other people the opportunity to serve. I always wish people would allow me to serve them more. Got to lead by example I suppose!

    I am having a moderate to severe Crohn`s flare up. It`s pretty frustrating just not being able to do all that I`m used to doing (work, church, small group…etc). I saw my doc today and have to choose between two pretty serious meds tonight. I think I have chosen…and will have to learn how to self inject. Work has been pretty good about it all and I just pray they don't get weary. And I hope Canada doesn't decide to throw out my pending visa application cos I'm going to cost them too much! I would really appreciate prayer for all of this!

    Anything I can do for you in return? 🙂
    My recent post heart-quake and restoration

  • Same here. I defitnately try to go it alone, much to my own detriment. Fortunately, I have a very collaborative work place.
    My recent post Time to Man Up

  • Same here. I defitnately try to go it alone, much to my own detriment. Fortunately, I have a very collaborative work place.
    My recent post Time to Man Up

  • I'm too much of a control freak to ask for help.

    It's horrible, because it is a major contributor to stress in my life. I have these massive to-do lists, and can hardly stand to relax because there is always something to be done.

    There's probably a pride element involved too, because, someone like me will always think that no one else can do what needs to be done 'correctly', which in most cases 'correctly' just means 'my way'.

    This has definitely got me thinking. Thanks for this post.
    My recent post First Step to Forgiveness

  • you know one of the biggest areas that is hard for me to ask for help in? requesting prayer. i feel like that should come easy as a christian. especially as one who says she values transparency and authenticity. but it's extremely hard for me to let someone know when i'm struggling with something and need prayer.

    must get better at that.
    My recent post monday morning confession:

  • Don't ever be afraid of asking for help! Needing help is a good thing because it puts us all on level ground and makes everyone feel good. I ask my high school students to help me all the time–I even ask them to catch my mistakes–and that has made a real difference in my classroom. I don't have to prove myself to anyone, but I do want to be true to myself. If I need help, then I need to admit it. Giving and receiving help is a tremendous power in our world.

    My recent post #32 THE DOING OF BELIEVING: REPENTANCE