Can I Just Say?

Posted By on Mar 4, 2010 in The Life I Live | 64 comments


Sometimes I am just plain GROUCHY.

It is NOT PRETTY, but it is TRUE and REAL.

Yes, I know. I don’t really have ANYTHING to be grouchy about. All my fundamental needs are being met. I have a wonderful job, a loving family, and this fantastic group of friends. I belong to an incredible church. And I live in a country where I am allowed to dream of possibilities and work to make them a reality. I am set. Life is good.

But that doesn’t stop me from having days where the grouchy feelings cascade over me, mind and soul.

And today is one of those days where I am a little worn out with it all. Seriously…

I’m sick of being single. Sick, sick, sick of being single.

I’m sick of hearing that my friends wished they knew a man who was worthy of me. (I mean, what IN THE HECK does that mean?)

I’m sick of failing to find the right balance between doing too much and being really tired of being still.

But mostly, I’m sick of listening to myself complain.

So…

I am going to start thinking of things that make me smile. (Yes, I have probably seen The Sound of Music one too many times.)

I am going to think of things that are undeniably happy like…

Exploring the glorious Hill Country of Texas with my wide-eyed and totally precious nieces.

Waking to sunshine on a cool crisp spring morning.

Finding Van Morrison’s “Whenever God Shines a Light” when my ipod is on shuffle.

Absorbing the sites, sounds, and smells as one of my favorite bands take the stage at The Ryman Theatre.

Hearing spell-binding stories unfold as the Compassion bloggers report live on the ground in Kenya.

Enjoying a glass of wine on the beach as the sun sets with a close friend.

Watching one my best friends walk down the aisle before she marries the man of her dreams.

Now…what was I going on and on about before?

It’s your turn. Feel free to vent or share what makes you smile.

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/JasonWert JasonWert

    I know what you need. You need a very solid dose of Barney Stinson. DM me on Twitter and I'll send you a link to all the episodes online and you can pig out on the Barnacle. If that doesn't get you laughing and make you feel better then nothing will.

    Or get a bag of Swedish Fish. A big one. The red ones only. ;)
    My recent post Blown away in 48 hours

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      I love How I Met Your Mother. Great show!

  • Carol Anne

    Been there. I stopped looking for someone worthy of me and found someone I was worthy of. I love your fearlessness. It takes alot to admit that you are human. You bet that you have it great, but that doesn’t mean you are without troubles. Being single only stinks if you are restless inside and have no one who understands. I got so tired of “working on me” and finally enjoyed the life I was living. That’s when I met my husband. If that is what you desire – to be married – it will happen. God knows your heart and delights in your willingness to be married to “the one” He chose for you. I can hardly wait until you share that day with us.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      Carol Anne, I so appreciate your words.

  • http://www.timothydeanmills.com Tim

    Very well said. Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest.

    –Tim
    http://www.timothydeanmills.com

  • http://www.takingheart.net Erin

    Hey, it's your party and you can cry if you want to!
    You are fearfully and WONDERfully made! FULL of wonder… embrace the good and gripe about the not so good once in a while… and then just say, "my ovaries made me do it!"
    My recent post A List to Live By

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      Thanks Erin! Need the reminder.

  • essica/nu2htown

    I always say my problems are not the worst problems, but they are MY problems. I also agree with JasonWert Barney Stinson to the rescue. I would say Grey’s, get some inspiration from Yang, but inevitably every ep makes me cry at some point.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      I watched Grey's and Private Practice. Why am I liking Private Practice more than Grey's these days?

  • Musicgirl77

    As soon as you start seeing your life without the want of a man, he will come. Your deep-seeded desire is a radar as bright as the Northern Star to guys and it scares them off. You sound to do a very good job of having a social life and a great career. But you need to become good with the idea of a life on your own. Trust me, my own experience and those of MANY friends has proved it a reliable theory.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      Really??? I am. You can ask my friends. I am not a whiney girl. I am fine (scratch that) good being single. But if I am honest I have days. Where I am OVER it. Just like if my married friends are honest, they have days where they are sick of their life.

      • Musicgirl77

        Please don’t misunderstand!! I’m not saying you are whining AT ALL!!! You seem to be doing so much better than I did at your age. I didn’t have all the social outlets you enjoy. I obviously didn’t say what I meant to say well at all. Just take heart and know that He knows your heart’s desire.

        • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

          I can totally appreciate that. I know that God has a plan. Trusting in that. Whatever it looks like. :)

  • http://pathfromtheheadtotheheart.wordpress.com Chrystie

    I'm telling you, I totally woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I was even grouchy during my bible study. Sheesh! I snapped at my husband, several times. All day long I have felt pinched by the crazy demands of my schedule. I absolutely cannot seem to keep my head above water. And to top it all off, I have a new study group starting up tomorrow that I have already bailed on once and am seriously thinking I am going to have to bail again. So, all that just to say…I am with you my friend.
    BUT – we are so blessed. We have food to eat, warm beds to sleep in, clean water to drink, clothes to wear and freedom to worship God openly without persecution and fear.
    AND – some days the difference between sick and tired and grateful and content is a good nights sleep and a prayer of thanksgiving. I am praying that I will wak up with a better attitude and outlook on life tomorrow.
    Once again, I love how you keep it real! Praying for you!
    My recent post Joy Unspeakable

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      And you get to meet Alece soon! That is going to be great fun.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Cindy_Graves Cindy_Graves

      When are you meeting Alece? Are you coming to Atlanta? Could we all meet? I'm about to bust!!! Online friendships are good but I want to talk to you face to face! I've missed chatting with you lately. Sounds like you've been very busy and I know that feeling well! Take care…
      My recent post Comfort Isn’t Always #1

      • http://pathfromtheheadtotheheart.wordpress.com Chrystie

        Hi, Cindy!!! I would love to meet up for a cup of coffee! Alece and I were going to meet in Commerce, but we had to reschedule. I have missed chatting with you too. My time online has been greatly decreased lately. And it is likely to only get busier. Whew! We need to pick a date to meet up…
        My recent post Joy Unspeakable

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/vonchris7 Chris Vonada

    Lindsey, i stumbled across your blog from Michael Hyatt's… that's funny you wrote this today, I'm a new blogger but I think you'll find mine interesting…

    http://wp.me/pKJeD-16

    My recent post Cooking up the Dream that Delivers a Smile

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      I'll go check it out.

  • http://www.livelaughloveaw.blogspot.com april walker

    Oh i soooo needed to hear this today. I'm a total grump-a-saurus this week for a lot of the same reasons. The "single" topic is making me slightly crazy. Maybe it's that I have a birthday sneaking up on me next week that puts me closer to 30 or the fact that I'm smack dab in the middle of trying to step out and explore a career change and opening my own photography business and i just keep catching myself being completely fearful of doing it all by myself. Then i start to think about what i DO have & how much i've been blessed with and then feel guilty for being a grump… sometimes it can be such a vicious circle.

    Sorry… that was more of a vent :)

    When I do stop to enjoy that visit from my 2 year old niece, bask in the sunshine in my car on a chilly day, enjoy a good mat kearney cd, or have a great night with friends though… life is good :)
    My recent post {new.music.tuesday}

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      April, I am enjoying my thirties so much more than my twenties. I promise. Aging is a good thing. But I know what you mean it would be nice to have your future all worked out so you don't have to worry about it. But the funny thing is…it is all worked out. God's got a plan for each of us…right? That's what I keep telling myself.

      I got to see Mat Kearney Saturday night. And it reinforced my LOVE of his music.

  • http://www.menoflife.com Mike

    I think sometimes the enemy loves to keep us so entangled in our own 'stuff' that we miss all of the things that make us smile. John Eldredge does a teaching called 'spirit of the age' where he states that satan's message to his legion is to 'run us' …. to wear us down. to keep us so tied up and busy that we have no time to enjoy all that God has for us. i think when we are at a weak moment, the enemy sends that message to us…. and it takes us out every time….. thanks for your openness because i'm sure if we are all honest, we know exactly what you are saying because we live there too….
    by the way, thanks, i had to get home and put on some Van Morrison…. love that song
    My recent post Boot Camp Photos

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      such a great song!

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/bahava bahava

    mmm, SO with you on this just being a grouchy day…all day I just thinking and here we go again hello failure, but thank goodness I stumbled upon a song that keeps reminding me that His mercies are new every morning and that even when I run away His love never fails. thanks for being real.
    My recent post Up, Up and Away

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      glad you found it encouraging.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/moweezle moweezle

    100% Yes, Yes, Yes!!! I too am soooo sick of being single, but I am also soooo grateful and happy for all I have! The one thing that made me smile big today was waking up to heat and sun :)

    (its so nice to have someone to relate to today)
    My recent post Moving day… Again?!?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      (so nice to have someone to relate to)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Cindy_Graves Cindy_Graves

    Oh yeah, I can be a grouch with the best of you guys and gals! Sometimes I think of changing my middle name from Ann to Oscar (from Sesame St. not Hollywood)!

    But I've always heard, just as you've written here, that counting your blessings is the best way to chase away the grouchies. However…to be honest sometimes I just like being grouchy – for a little while. Then I feel guilty for the people I hurt or attacked. And I'd rather not have to apologize, right? So next time the little green grouch monster wants to surface, I'll just start counting happy things and blessings. That'll teach him!

    1. Wonderful Family
    2. Wonderful Friends
    3. Wonderful Job
    4. Wonderful Life!
    My recent post Comfort Isn’t Always #1

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      poor little green grouch monster not getting his way today…

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jcatron jcatron

    You know I relate to this too well :)

    Can I be the friend watching the sunset with you at the beach? I'll have tea. You have wine. Seriously, let's book it!
    My recent post When Do You Pray?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      seriously, let's book it!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/scottdwinter Scott D. Winter

    Thanks, Lindsey. I am really grumpy this morning. REALLY grumpy.

    This helped provide a little perspective.
    My recent post What the iPad is NOT and Why Knowing Will Make a Difference if You Want One

  • http://www.kevindeshazo.me kevin

    I could vent for about 472 straight hours. But I won't. What makes me happy/smile?
    1. My son's laugh.
    2. My son's smile.
    3. Relaxing with my wife.
    4. Good coffee.
    5. Brian Regan comedy
    6. Really good music, preferably live

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      7. Lost

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/kevindeshazo kevindeshazo

        Dangit! How could I forget that? You suggesting it just means you are that much closer to watching it. Victory.

  • http://twitter.com/cr8stories @cr8stories

    Nothing wrong with a dose of Grouch once in awhile! It lets you know something is abit off and time to remember or get a happy moment in your day again! I'm single too and so get that the advise from well meaning friends can bring a stronger dose of Grouch! I can be grateful, though, that I have great friends.__My number one mood lifter is definitely my favourite music blaring from my Ipod earphones or my car stereo. Then I say a little prayer of thanks for being able to listen in the first place. And thanks to you for writing, and being in my world, adding a smile to my day.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      This reminds me of what Jenni said at Cultivate Her Friday, "God uses frustration to shape our vision." I love that!

  • http://learningfromsophie.wordpress.com Laura Anne

    Sick of being single sometimes too.

    Sick of all my stuff falling apart and having no money to replace it.

    Sick of living with my Mum and Stepfather. I want a place of my own that I can bring people back to, have visit etc like I did when I was a student/newly graduated with a Full-time job.

    Sick of being so tired all the time – and worried about how I could ever work full-time again.

    Fed up of looking like well…crap. The hair that hasn't been cut since last August. Falling apart clothes. Eyebrows that well, are now scare-brows. Cos frankly serving God comes before beauty. But why can't I serve God and look presentable like all the other Christian women around me?!

    But…
    I have some lovely friends
    American TV Dramas available online so I can chill out!
    Still have a working iPod – music gets me through
    I live in one of the most gorgeous countries in the world.
    Thankful I live in a country where access to medical care is "free". (it's not really because most of us pay National Insurance and I don't mind).
    I have an un-used Starbucks gift card which I can use to get a yummy caramel hot chocolate or cinnamon swirl :)
    I have a roof over my head and it comes with free internet access.
    My recent post South Africa Fortnight…Liam & Rachel Byrnes

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      I so get your grumpy list. And I love your happy list!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jskogerboe jskogerboe

    Lindsey, You're wonderful. God broke the mold when He made you. He's a genius. You're proof. Bless you. :-)

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      So kind.

  • http://www.prudychick.com Prudence

    I wake up grouchy occasionally as so many do. People at work pissing me off, the guy driving too slow in front of me. Things just not going how "I" think they should.

    Things that make me smile?

    My little boy chihuahua (Zeus) ferociously wagging his butt off when I get home from work. A Starbucks latte. Less weight registering on the scale. The warm, safe embrace of my husband. When my nephews want to say hi to me on the phone. Sleeping in.

    I'm praying for you. I battled the whole singleness. All around me friends were getting married and I didn't have a boy friend. It sucked. Through some time and waiting God brought me the greatest guy. Praying that He does that soon for you.
    My recent post Being Uncomfortable

  • http://www.givinguponperfect.com Mary

    I'm actually feeling rather grouchy myself today, so your grouchiness made me smile. You're right, though – focusing on the GOOD is the best way to cure all that!
    My recent post Losing It – Week 2

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      Glad I could make you smile :)

  • DeWayne

    Good post. For me, it never helped when others encouraged me to count my blessings – I had to come to that point myself and sounds like you are there.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      Dewayne. Last night when I was talking to someone about the grumpies – she asked if I had been exercising lately. She was trying to be encouraging but it just made me grumpier. Funny how we just want folks to hear us and not fix it.

  • Catie

    You just opened my heart and poured it onto the internet. . .it's been a rough week by all definitions.

    But I am happy –
    Because I know, one day, my longing will be fulfilled (Prov. 13:12)
    Because the birds woke me up 3 minutes before my alarm
    Because my nieces and nephew really think I'm cooler than their mom
    Because I am blessed with friends (even on my lonely nights – they still exist)
    Because I am moved by music – and music makes me move
    Becuase there is sunshine.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

    Glad my grouchies could offer perspective. ;)

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/gritandglory alece

    i love you even when you're grouchy, linds.

    and i get like this a lot. thank you for the reminder to shift my gaze elsewhere. to "lift my eyes to the hills".

    now… about that beach sunset with wine in hand… just tell me where to meet you.
    My recent post four-minute friday: tight

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/rebeccannb rebeccannb

    Your post sounds like what I have been dealing with all week! I started out the week being overwhelmed and am now trying to find all the wonderful things to focus on. Thanks for sharing this post….

  • http://www.frugalcreativity.com Melissa

    I hear you. This week has been rough, all around. Because of that, yesterday I wrote a list of things that make me happy: baking for family and friends, working on our new church ministry, writing. And carbohydrates. :) There are more, but those are the highlights.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      I love me some carbohydrates.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/gritandglory alece

    i had to come back to tell you something else.

    you know what my thought was when i read this? it sounds like a psalm… so many of the psalms start with questions and doubts and frustration and fear, and then end with thankfulness and praise.

    i'm smiling thinking about how your heart is like david's.

    and his was like God's, so…
    My recent post four-minute friday: tight

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      you are good to me, nice…and kinda sassy. thanks for being you!

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/thelmabowlen Thelma Bowlen

    It's just one of those days/weeks/seasons, Lindsey. :-)

    I personally reach for chocolate anything to pull me through. (That and doing a David by commanding my soul…)

    Remember, it gets harder before it gets easier and then the surprise of "beyond what we expected" hits. That's the amazing part!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      great counsel. Thank you!

  • Bianca Juarez

    Ohhhhh, I FEEL you! The worst line is, "No one is good enough for you." Oh really? Try me.

    Ugh.

    Love your honesty!
    My recent post Friday Video Post: a social gospel…

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      Thanks Bianca!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/trishdavis Trish Davis

    Oh my kindred spirit! Good thing our "grouchy days" we not on the same day! We might have either ended-up in jail or taken over the world! :) But I have to say that sometimes in our willingness to be vulnerable with our struggles helps bring perspective into light and let's others know they are not alone. Thank you for your reminder to think of things that make me smile… I'm starting with you!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      I am so thankful for you and your family. And you and your family. And you and your family…. God has blessed me abundantly. My heart feels full today. Thank you!

  • http://elainaavalos.blogspot.com Elaina

    I so relate to much of what you're saying. Especially the sick of being single thing. But I think you're totally right that the best way to combat the grumpy days (since they inevitably come) is to focus on the awesome things around us. Hard to do at times but I think it's worth it!
    My recent post I love a man who knows how to handle his . . . limes.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      It is totally worth it!

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