Today’s “How He Loves” post is from Justin Davis. Justin and his wife Trisha are two incredible people. They know all about brokenness, restoration, and redemption. Through their ministry at Cross Point Bellevue and Refine Us, they teach others (like me) the power of authenticity, truth, and grace. I am honored to call them friends.
Read about 8 things that destroyed their marriage here.
Read about 8 things that restored their marriage here.
Find their blog here.
About a month after Trisha and I separated, we went to our counselor’s office for a very pivotal appointment. The first phase of forgiveness had taken place; trust had begun to be repaired; Trisha had allowed herself to be vulnerable again. The mission of this appointment was to confess anything that I had not confessed about the affair over the course of the previous thirty days. We walked in, and our counselor asked if I had anything to say. Unfortunately, I did have something to say. I had details that I had withheld for the previous month that I confessed right then.
Trisha freaked out. She got up and left me at the counselor’s office. I had to call the people I was staying with to come and pick me up. About an hour later, a lady from our church called to tell me that Trisha was filing for divorce the following Monday.
In that moment, I have never felt so unlovable. I have never felt so undesirable. In that moment, I felt so worthless and so invaluable.
Later that night, my counselor called me. He said to me words that I couldn’t believe at that time, but desperately needed to hear. “Justin, I have no idea if Trisha will ever be able to fully forgive you. I have no idea if your marriage will survive your choices and your sin. But I do know that your Heavenly Father loves you. He loves you as much in this moment as He loved you when you were leading the church or preaching sermons. He loves you.”
Singer/Songwriter John Mark McMilllan wrote this song that Lindsey has asked us share our thoughts about this week. I had heard the song, but had never seen the video until she sent it to Trisha and me. In the video he says this:
- The kind of love I’m singing about in that song is not a pretty, clean…it’s not a Hollywood, hot pink kind of love. It’s a kind of love that is willing to love things that are messy; the difficult and the kind of gross. (You can watch the complete video here.)
Maybe for someone today, your choices have you feeling unlovable; untouchable; unforgivable. Maybe you are not just questioning someone’s ability to love you, but you are questioning God’s love for you.
Can I just share with you the words that changed my life in my lowest moment: He loves you. Oh, how he loves you.
He loves you as much in this moment as He has ever loved you.
Is it hard for you to believe that God loves you unconditionally?