How He Loves, Tam Hodge

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So thankful to have Tam Hodge, aka @inprogress, sharing today.

I started following Tam on twitter awhile back and finally had the pleasure of meeting her and her husband Brent in February when they were in town for ReCreate. I instantly knew that she was someone I needed to know better. I sure hope she felt the same way, because she is going to have a hard time shaking me.

Find Tam’s blog here.

And her twitter here.

1987, 16 1/2 years old, i sat in an abortion clinic in southern california. alone and frightened. i didn’t show it. i couldn’t show it. i wouldn’t show it.

i no longer lived at home with my family. i had to be the big girl now. i had do the right thing. i had to look out for me.

at all costs.

fifteen months later…i sat in the very same abortion clinic waiting to rid my life of one more mistake.

how could God love me after ending two innocent lives? why would He?

i never thought then of the repercussions my decisions would have. not once did i consider the impact those abortions would have on my life or the lives of others.

and it certainly never occurred to me then that i would one day have to tell my own daughter.

when i look at my daughter, kassidi, i don’t just see my first born…i see my first chosen born. i see grace. i see redemption. i see mercy. i see Love.

kass knows about my abortions now. she has ministered to many girls in her high school because of what she now knows of the subject. this is God using my ashes to demonstrate His beauty and love.

Gods love has allowed kass to experience life. her life has allowed me to know Love.

i was 16 when i had my first abortion. my first born is now 16. and she sings today because He loves us…Oh, how He loves us…

How He Loves – Kassidi from Brent Hodge on Vimeo.

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June 14, 2010 in Faith,Life,Music with 73 Comments

About Lindsey: Lindsey recently joined Project 7 as their Director of Community. And is in the process of figuring out how to live life California-style.

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Pastor_T Pastor_T

    I love how Jesus pours from this family in the forms of blog and talent (to name a few). Love ya Tam!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      i just love that God lets us =)

      love you too, toby.
      My recent post you should be….

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

    It is such a joy knowing you. His love flows out of you…and out of your daughter…especially when she sings. Thank you so much for sharing….

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      honestly…im quite shocked, still, that you asked me to share here. and im quite honored. thank you, lindsey!

      cant wait to hug your neck soon!
      My recent post you should be….

  • http://charsteyn.blogspot.com Charissa Steyn

    What a beautiful post!! I love how God can redeem EVERYTHING mistake in our lives! Thank you for sharing your story Tam!
    My recent post Pregnant Bellies!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      i SO love that too! i went too many years without receiving that redemption all while it was staring me right in the face.
      My recent post you should be….

  • http://charsteyn.blogspot.com Charissa Steyn

    oops… I meant to say, "EVERY mistake in our lives!" :)
    My recent post Pregnant Bellies!

  • http://www.pensieve.me Robin ~ PENSIEVE

    Wow…

    I follow Tam on Twitter, but seeing a piece of her heart here? Beautiful story of redemption.

    God is SO good at that. We're so lucky (I know, I know, I'm supposed to say "blessed") to be recipients of that kind of love and grace.

    Thanks for introducing me to more of her.
    My recent post Every mom should earn a million dollars

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      whisper: i say "lucky" all the time. i have used "xmas" too for brevity. i'm pretty sure i'm a bad person.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      im a very 'lucky' ;) girl to have been asked to share here!
      My recent post you should be….

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/lightchild Grant Jenkins

    Wow!! This is so powerful! Redemption! Thank you for sharing this, Tam, and thanks Lindsey for featuring her story. How great is His affection for us!
    My recent post The Strength Of My Heart

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      His affection is certainly beyond what we deserve…

      can you imagine if we all really, truly, loved like He Loves?

      wow! everything as we know it would change….
      My recent post you should be….

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      My pleasure :)

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/davisfamily05 Justin and Trisha

    Wow! Trying to clean the tears off of my keyboard as I type this. HOW HE LOVES…so grateful for how He loves! Thank you Tam for this powerful post on grace and redemption.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      if lindsey hadnt asked me to write this i probably wouldnt have. im so glad she did. it brought out a different angle of my journey/story. im very grateful.
      My recent post you should be….

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      my personal goal is to see how much i can make you cry this week. 1

  • http://www.lifewithjding.com Ingrid

    Wow. An amazing story of grace & redemption reinforced by her daughters amazing singing. As I listened to her sing, my little ones came to hear what I was listening to and sang right along. Oh how He loves!
    My recent post Sunday Setlist (June 13, 2010)

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      i love that your kiddos sang along!
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://www.sarahmarkley.com Sarah Markley

    that
    is
    beautiful,
    friend.

    love you.
    My recent post Drifting

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      i love you, sarah.
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://redbackpack.wordpress.com Bill Todd

    Wow. Probably not cool to cry here in Cracker Barrel. Redemption changes everything, and makes life whole.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      awdang. sorry about that bill…..
      ;)
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/jennyrain JennyRain

    i listened to Kassidi's song this weekend and sent it to a friend of mine, but seeing it connected to Tam's story makes it all the more meaningful. Thanks for posting this Lindsey.

    p.s. I am so intrigued that the last two posts you have written are on love and am praying God shows you wonderful things about His love this summer :)
    My recent post Social Location: Finding my Tweeps

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      its so good to "know" you, jenny.
      My recent post How He Loves

    • http://www.lindseynobles.com Lindsey_Nobles

      Jenny, thanks for your constant prayer. I can feel it. :)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/joshuawhite joshuawhite

    1.) Hi Lindsey! I've put you in my reader now =)
    2.) Sweet mother, I love the #HodgeLodge
    3.) Props to Kass for using "sloppy wet" instead of Crowder's lame "unforeseen"

    • Makeda

      I agree! I'm glad she say sloppy wet kiss; works SOOOO much better :)

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      josh, kass gets the sloppy wet kiss line. she knows what she'd do if she were reunited with her loved ones after lifetimes. she's be all up in there biz with a bunch of sloppiness =D
      My recent post How He Loves

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      Welcome Joshua! Love your pictures.

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/kub3294 kub3294

    I never get tired of hearing ANYONE in this family praise the Lord through song. Through words. Through prayer. Through walking each day with their heads held high so they don't miss the forgotten. This whole family is the real deal. Now to meet them in real life!!

    OK, goosebumps going done. Well done, Kass. And, once again, well said, Tam.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      thank you, friend! wow. thank you.
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://www.compassioncan.blogspot.com JD in Canada

    How could we not worship God, knowing how beautifully He redeems, in ways only He can? He redeems in beautiful ways.

    Thank you for allowing us to see the vulnerability, the real side of life, in order to see a powerful reminder of how He loves us.
    My recent post 20,000 Breaths, 20,000 Deaths

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      "How could we not worship God, knowing how beautifully He redeems, in ways only He can?"

      yes. well said/asked!
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://learningfromsophie.wordpress.com laura anne

    Love ya Hodges!!! All of you!!!! And I can't wait to meet ALL of you in heaven, with my little Sophie girl in tow…
    My recent post A sofa day…

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      if we have to wait til heaven, i'll deal with that. but i'd much rather meet sooner!
      My recent post How He Loves

      • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/brunettekoala Laura Anne

        You say things like that, and you might have me sitting on your doorstep one day! :)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/JenniClayville JenniClayville

    love this song.
    love kassidi hodge.
    love tammy hodge.

    thanks for sharing this, lindsey!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      love YOU.
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/gritandglory alece

    tam, i so love your heart. i learn so much from how you've embraced God's restoration… and how you've instilled your amazing heart into your daughter. that i can call you both friends—no, family—never ceases to amaze me.

    kass, you know i love your voice and am always blown away by your musical talent. but you probably didn't know that this song has literally carried me through this past year. to see/hear you sing it? wow… i've got tears, sweet girl. thank you.

    My recent post monday morning confession

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      coming from someone whom i want to be like when i grow up…

      shaking my head.
      My recent post How He Loves

  • Makeda

    In a world that is not this one I left this comment already but clearly I have lost my mind because I did not leave a comment yet though I meant to :-) (I have serious issues). But seriously Tam this was such a beautiful post. Your daughter has a great voice and her singing this song was the perfect backdrop to your beautiful story of redemption. Thank you for sharing so honestly. Lindsey thanks for giving us another chance to hear Tam's beautiful heart.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      when lindsey asked me to write this week i thought all day about it. i knew what i'd write about, just not the 'how' part. then it occurred to me how fitting it would be for kass to sing this, those words, at 16 like i was. dang, God is so creative and good!
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/ckroboth ckroboth

    He does love us, and you are deeply loved by Him

    Oh and is ok that I listened to Kass first before I read the whole thing? ;)

    Peace and Love

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      carl, i wouldve done the same ;)
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://www.graceisforsinners.com Serena Woods

    I love it, Tammy. :)
    My recent post just enough

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      thank you, serena…
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/prudychick prudychick

    You both made cry. Beautiful.

    My recent post San Deigo Vacation: Riverside & Little Italy

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      i trust they were happy tears. so thats ok.
      ;)
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/gitzengirl gitz

    sweet girls, the love of Him that pours out of both of you is stunning. i'm so grateful to be a small piece in the grand life you live.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      gitz – you are a big piece of my life. youve taught me more than you know.
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://www.paulgardner.info/ Paul Gardner

    Wow, Thanks for posting this Lindsey
    My recent post Do You Trust Jesus to Transform?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/ffandhb Chrissy

    Tam, she is beautiful and so talented! You must be so proud.

    The most amazing thing about our Savior is that no matter what we do, His love is unconditional. There's no one else in the world who loves us like He does, no matter what we do to disappoint Him. Thank you for being a living, breathing reminder of that.
    My recent post Away…

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      im very proud of her. and amazed daily!

      and im so grateful that God allows us to be living and breathing reminders of His love!
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/JuliaKate JuliaKate

    hmmm… this is taking me to a very interesting place, a reflection and a hope of the potential life that lives on the other side of choice.
    Thank you.
    My recent post interview with a covert conspirator…

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      exactly. theres always life after choices. i guess its just our…. choice. but dang if it doesnt sometimes take us forever to make them. at least the right ones. at least for me.

  • http://www.anthemofpraise.wordpress.com Randi

    Two beautiful hearts.
    Thank you for sharing with us.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      thank you, randi….
      My recent post How He Loves

  • http://intensedebate.com/profiles/allm92 Heidi

    I love Tam's heart… It rocks me that this beautiful lady also had a broken past..
    why? cuz she is such an inspiration to hundreds (no exaggeration) of women and men who are trying to find their own way of restoration. She never has a condemnation about her, just a push, a whole bunch of love AND PRAYER…. and tells about hope and His steadfastness. That's what I love about her..

    Kassidi… amazing (tearful)

    My recent post Walking In With A Tangle

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Lindsey_Nobles Lindsey_Nobles

      I know. Tam is a breath of fresh air.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      dang, these tear ducts of mine….
      My recent post How He Loves

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/pinkhairedgirl Crystal Renaud

    I sure to do love those Hodges.

  • http://www.jewelsightings.blogspot.com/ Julie

    Sometimes I think about all the days that have passed. Sometimes I wish I could go back and have a "do-over" knowing then what I know now. Sometimes I think about how my children had been ruined by my poor parenting or my reactions to the things inside me that were unhealed at that time.. And it's then I see something profoundly beautiful. My story is my story. It's a story of redemption. It's the display of a life that was lived in legalism being set free…. a life lived in the flesh being restored. In this life that I have often made a mess of my children are getting a front row seat. They are watching the God of the universe who dwells inside their mother change her from the inside out. That comforts me when I remember all the regrets of my past.

    What a beautiful story, what a beautiful display of what I just wrote about above. As God is restoring you… He's revealing Himself to your daughter. Just stunning!
    My recent post The Interwoven Life of Us ©

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      your words captured my breath…..
      My recent post 2nd annual fort contest

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  • http://www.kendavis.com Ken Davis

    Thank you for this Lindsey, what a picture of grace. Tams honesty pours out the grace to so many others that need it. Amazing blog.
    My recent post Making Your Dream a Reality

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      oh wow. i kept wondering why your name looked so familiar. then i realized it because i met you in '09 in TN at the recreate conference. good ole randy…bringing people together from everywhere =)
      My recent post no to negative nelly

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/rosacola Rocco Capra

    Wow, I'm in tears.

    What a beautiful story of God's "No matter what" love. Thank you for sharing!!
    My recent post The Prodigal…

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      "no matter what" love…

      thats gonna stick with me, right there…

      so good!
      My recent post no to negative nelly

  • Carol Anne

    Absolutely beautiful!!! I knew girls who went through this. I am grateful you showed and shared your heart. A year ago I thought twitter was a crazy little fad. Now I believe in the purpose. My day is different and better because of you. Spreading God’s message and sharing your love and compassion, well, there can be no better purpose. Thank you!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/taminprogress taminprogress

      thank you, carol anne and youre welcome ;)

      dont you just love how much good can come out of social media?
      My recent post no to negative nelly