A couple of months ago, I had the pleasure of attending the wedding of one of my best friends. Since I was in the wedding (and since there is no notable boy in my life), I went by myself. Not a big of a deal. I’ve done it dozens of times. Really, not a big deal.
Well, kind of a big deal.
Mostly because as I’ve gotten older, I have realized that anyone who is married, has been married, or once had a dream about getting married, sees a single 30-something at a wedding and thinks, “I need to bestow my wisdom on this poor individual.”
And without a date, I am utterly defenseless.
So they begin, bombarding me with advice on how to find a man, and keep him, like it is their divine calling.
Here are a just a few of the priceless nuggets of wisdom I’m talking about:
“Have you ever thought about internet dating? I would never have been bold enough to try it, but I hear it worked for ____ and _______. You should do it. It would be fun.” – Um, okay. Thanks. I’ll get right on it. I was just waiting for your stamp of approval.
“Don’t settle. Be choosy. You only get one chance to do it right.” – Great advice. But do they realize I’M 33 and single? Don’t think settling is MY issue. THEY were the ones who got married before passing “Go.”
“_______’s single.” or “_______’s recently divorced.” – Really? What am I supposed to do with this? I mean what am I supposed to do with this BESIDES file it away on that list of single men I keep in my journal 😉
“I really wish I had someone to set you up with. I would never dare set you up with (enter spouse’s name here)’s friends. You are too good for them.” – Call me crazy, but I just don’t understand the math on this one. The skeptic in me thinks that as I listen, scan the room, and nod in agreement, the married dudes are saying the exact same thing to their single buddies.
So I’m curious…
Singles: What “helpful” advice have you gotten at the recent wedding?
Married folks: What “helpful” advice do you love to impart? OR what crazy things have people said to you about having babies, living happily ever after, etc.?
Author’s note: I write this in jest. Nine times out of ten, the advice is as endearing as it is frustrating. I actually take great comfort in knowing that people want to help me in my quest to fulfill all my dreams.