Still Processing

I woke up this morning in Sunriver, Oregon for the final day of The Building Champions Experience excited about the progress made on my life plan and vision but still struggling to process everything I have experienced over the last two weeks.

How does what I saw and experienced in Guatemala fit into my future?

What is God’s vision and purpose for my life?

How can I live more intentionally?

And most importantly, how can I live more faithfully?

I am thankful because I know what a luxury it is to have the time, the space, and the resources to be asking these questions.

For some reason this morning this illustration by Wilbur Rees popped into my mind. I thought I would share it because it has me thinking, and maybe it will do the same for you.

I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please, not enough to explode my soul or disturb my sleep, but just enough to equal a cup of warm milk or a snooze in the sunshine.

I don’t want enough of Him to make me love a black man or pick beets with a migrant. I want ecstasy, not transformation; I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth.

I want a pound of the Eternal in a paper sack. I would like to buy $3 worth of God, please. Wilbur Rees, “$3.00 Worth of God”

Do I REALLY want all that God has to offer? Do you?

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Lindsey has a sincere love for her precious dogs Molly and Maisy, a good red wine and the Delta Sky Club.

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  • Deb

    Oh. (ha) I'm on a bit of a rant today about this.

    Not you. 😉
    And I love what you've done going to Guatemala.

    But I'm questioning (sort of – ha) if we even really have the choice to ask whether we 'will' help the needy and the sick and the poor and the hungry. It's pretty much all throughout the Bible but we seem to either ignore it, or downplay it.

    I love the way you're questioning. And I'm in a process of wondering if I'm doing 'enough' or should be doing more or what that would look like and so on. And it's a tad bit frightening because it would mean….well….change.

    And I love that quote. 😉
    Thanks for sharing your journey and exploration in this direction, Lindsey. It's an awesome example to get us all thinking!

    • I agree it's not about IF I will help, it is about HOW I will help. I'm questioning what specifically that looks like in my life.

      • Deb

        (A confession: I've got the 'how' in the bigger vision. It's the getting there that scares me to death. Stepping out….but I think I'm quite possibly dipping my toe in the water to check the temperature when I should just…ya know….step. 😉 )
        My recent post Frustration to Peace &amp Why I’m So Not Where I Should Be

      • Yes! It's not an issue of "will" or "not now" — but whether we will obey — or not obey.
        Is there "a hole in our gospel"

        It's figuring out the how… waiting on God to show us the how and really listening for Him — even when He calls for the radical and yes — real change.

        I love the wrestling happening here in this place, Lindsey — I'm a struggler with you…

        All's grace,
        My recent post theres only a harvest when we break out of the mold

  • I think these are the questions many Christians are afraid to ask. As God has been changing me the past several months I find it frightening with my heart in such chaos even though there is a peace amidst it all. But what's even more frightening now is to not be changed by any of it. Thank you Lindsey for sharing your experiences these past weeks. They have definitely been used by God to continue growing me.
    My recent post Affirmation and Validation

  • I think that may be one of the hardest things about major life experiences. They fill us with inspiration and conviction, but making the translation into the reality of our "regular" lives is where the challenge lies.

    Sometimes I feel a bit like the apostle Paul. I know what I ought to do and do not do it. I know what I ought not to do and I do it anyway.

    Grateful for God's grace and mercy.
    My recent post IDEA- Not For Profit Gyms

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  • Hi Lindsey – the fact that you are continuing to wrestle with this is – I believe – very honoring to God because you are allowing Him into your heart and life to give you a different perspective on things. That is how transformation starts… too often we return from trips and don't take the time to process – we just jump right back in and forget what we saw. I am guilty of that…

    So I love that you are processing, and wrestling… often therein is where we "realize that this place we are standing on is holy ground… surely the Lord is in this place"

  • Lindsey, I read this post earlier and walked away from my computer. Now I'm back because I can't get the thought out of my head! Just wanted to re-read and tell you thanks for sharing this. I think I've been asking for $3 of God for far too long. The stories from Guatemala are moving. Praying you continue to process, and so grateful allow us to read about it.
    My recent post Blogging

  • As you wing home, Lindsey — any thoughts on how Guatemala figures into your future? How you fight the middle? How to say YES to a Billion-Dollar God who costs us something, who explodes our little comfortable lives and labors us into new life?

    I love the questions you ask here… I hope together we can pray for us all to find answers.

    God knows where we're at. What we long for. What our place really is. Is the first answer just the whisper, "Here I am, Lord. Use me."

    Praying and willing and waiting with you, Lindsey — I can't wait to read what the rest of your story holds! 🙂
    All's grace,
    My recent post theres only a harvest when we break out of the mold

    • Still no clue how Guatemala figures into my future. Have loved reading along as you process too and feeling understood. Thanks for the encouragement. You are such a blessing!

  • Whoa – that's an amazing quote that you shared there. Really socks ya in the gut!

    I'm definitely working on what I can do, all of these Compassion posts have really been challenging me – what have I, really, been doing and what should I be doing? I know alot more than I have been.

  • Just found your blog while following along with the Compassion trip. No real insight to offer; Just wanted you (all of you guy) to know that I am thankful that you have made yourself available to be transparent and molded by God through this experience. Other souls are being stirred because of your obedience.

    Thanks again. My continued prayers are with you.
    My recent post Hi-Ho- Hi-Ho- To The Coast We Go!

  • One of the best things you are doing for Guatemala is sharing your experiences here. Thanks for asking great questions and sharing the answers with us.

  • holy moly. $3 of god. yowzas. i don't even know waht to make of that. of course, i *want* my answer to your question to be 'yes' and then i think of all the times i say 'no' because of fear or uncertainty (ie, fear) or not trusting (ie, fear). it is so hard to get god outside of my little head sometimes and to fully trust, which is really what it boils down to me for me. but that's not a good reason anymore because i know better. i. know. better.

    so now what's my excuse?

    My recent post a little bit of extra-crazy

  • crazy. that rees section. that's amazing.

    that's kind of been a theme of mine for this past year: God does cost us something. he costs us everything, actually. and the kind of God that doesn't cost me my life, my heart and my desires is not worth worshiping.

    if i'm not constantly counting the cost then there is something wrong.

    love you nibs.
    My recent post invited to Dream

    • This is the line that kills me…I want the warmth of the womb, not a new birth.

      • I can not stop thinking about that either- its been haunting me since I read it in your post a few days ago.
        My recent post Knowing

  • That was such a great quote, such a good reminder. I am finding that oftentimes, we want a comfortable, safe God that will continue to let us thrive in our insulation. Especially in America, where naturally we have SO MUCH. It’s hard not to expect this same muchness and comfort from following God. We want Him, if we still get to live in the house we want, and get the dream we want, and have the kids when we want, etc. . . .

    And it’s a hard truth to grapple with–do we want HIM or HIS GIFTS?


    I am tasting a stripping of the “gifts” currently, and I know for me it has been a much, much harder process than I thought.

    Thanks for the reminder and for sharing your journey . . . and happy bday.

    Love from here,


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  • Thanks for sharing your story. I really want to go to Honduras through Compassion to see God's work there.