I can’t believe that a week from today I will be going to Guatemala with Compassion International. One week. I am hopeful, excited, and more than a little nervous. Post-Guatemala I have one day at home before heading to Oregon for the Building Champions Experience. As you can imagine, it is going be  crazy trying to get out of town for essentially two weeks.

So…I am going to take a brief hiatus from blogging. I just feel compelled to be quiet, to prepare my heart, and to refuel my soul. Things that don’t necessarily come naturally to me.

Until Monday friends!

I tend to be a control freak. (more control than freak hopefully)

Although I’ve always longed to be seen as carefree, spontaneous, even happy-go-lucky, I am more aptly described as responsible, steady, even predictable. Nothing scares me more than losing my sense of composure.

So it makes it quite interesting when I do things that force a loss of control like taking anesthesia.

I have only had a few small surgeries where general anesthesia was required but each time it has made me crazy. From when the IV is administered until I am “out” there is this gap of time where I wanted to control the process of losing control.

I still feel the same. Is this working?

This better be working because I don’t do pain well. At all.

Am I making sense?

Will I remember this moment? What about this one? And this one? And this one?

Suddenly the meds kick in and the next thing I know, I awake on “the other side” groggy yet mended, wondering what exactly I had missed.

If I am honest this is how I feel about my impending trip to Guatemala in two weeks with Compassion International. (Can we talk about how crazy that it is only 14 days away?)

I know that I am going to be changed. I know that seeing poverty firsthand and God at work is going to do a number on me. But I am fighting with every fiber of my being to limit the experience, to predict how I will feel, to know what God will say to me, and to control how I will respond.

And so this song by Hillsong United has become my prayer:

Take my life I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You oh God

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way (Arms Open Wide)

Do you struggle with control? Will you take a minute to pray that I will be willing to let go and give up control?

Six months ago, I wrote a post stating that I wanted to get my hands dirty.

(Interesting to note that I also wrote posts about other big hairy audacious goals like getting married and having kids. And unfortunately I’ve got nothing to report in either area. NOTHING.)

In the post I said,

It is easy for me to dream of changing the world from the comfort of my living room couch but I lately I have felt called to do more. I want to go to the ends of the earth. And I want to get my hands a little dirty.

And I referenced a quote by Jimmy Carter,

My faith demands -this is not optional-my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I can, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference.

So for the last six months, I have been more intentional about finding time to serve. Serve by doing whatever, wherever, whenever.

I have sought out opportunities to pitch in locally. I have become a ‘”lunch buddy” to the-cutest-kindergartner-ever through Preston Taylor Ministries and taken advantage of a handful of serving opportunities at Cross Point.

I even investigated a few opportunities to serve internationally but nothing really was coming together, that is, until last week.

Last week Shaun Groves reached out about the possibility of me joining him, Keely Scott and a team of bloggers in Guatemala in September. Without a moment’s hesitation, I agreed.

This was the opportunity I had been waiting for, the opportunity I had been praying about, the opportunity to get more intimately involved with an organization I am passionate about. My faith was demanding that I say yes. My faith was demanding that I go.

But between you and me, I am more than a little shocked that He is enlisting my help, that He is entrusting me with this opportunity.

Acutely aware of my insecurities and fear, I find myself running to Him for strength. And in a moment of clarity come to realize that this trip is not just about what He can do through me. This trip is also about what He will do in me.

Would you be willing to pray for me, for our team? Pray that over the next few months God would begin to prepare our hearts and our minds for the trip?

And bloggers, would you be willing to help spread the word by adding a little Compassion Bloggers banner to your site? Details here.

On Sunday morning, I was in Birmingham so I found myself at Church of the Highlands instead of being at Cross Point for the culmination of Faith, Hope, and Love. And candidly I was somewhat relieved because Pete Wilson has been packing each Sunday full of punches straight to my gut.

God has been seriously speaking to me this year about my finances, or as he keeps reminding me, His finances.

I grew up surrounded by wealth. (Really for those living in the United States and reading this on a computer screen, we all grew up surrounded by wealth.) And I’d be the first to admit that generosity is not something that comes naturally to me. Well that is not quite accurate. I am generous with my time and with my knowledge, but not so much with my money or my things. I tend to act all stingy, like they are “mine.” (more…)

As I said, Catalyst overwhelmed. The whole conference was amazing. But for me, one moment stood out. One moment broke my heart. And thankfully they caught it on video. So grab some kleenex, set aside eighteen minutes, and watch this. I promise you will be glad you did.

Catalyst 2009 Compassion Moment from Catalyst on Vimeo.

Something about Jimmy’s story broke my heart. But it broke my heart in a good way. Is that possible? Because Jimmy’s story reminded me that I can make a difference, I can help put an end to poverty in the world. But I need to DO SOMETHING.

I am still processing through the moment Catalyst so beautifully captured, still processing how I can make a difference in the lives of the children I sponsor through Compassion and WorldVision, and still processing what I should do with the knowledge and understanding that there are 143 MILLION ORPHANS in the world.

What did you learn from Jimmy’s story?

Have you ever broken a record before? Seriously a legitimate record? I break silly records all the time: most hours spent on the couch, number of tweets in a fifteen minute period, times using the word “hilarious” in a conversation. (I annoy myself with how much I use the word “hilarious” but I just can’t seem to stop.) But I don’t know if I have ever broken a legitimate record. Until this weekend.

This weekend at the Women of Faith conference in Dallas, Texas, I was a part of something pretty amazing. I helped break a record. And not just some stupid record, but one that I can be proud of.

We (that is me and the other 15,999 attendees of the conference) broke the record for the for the most WorldVision children sponsored at a Women of Faith Conference EVER. Over 1,500 kids were sponsored. Over 1,500 lives were changed.

I sponsored a little girl named Workezeb from Ethiopia. (more…)

Last week, before the Compassion Bloggers were even in flight to Kolkata, I sponsored a little Indian boy named Deva. Deva is 3 years old. Deva is 3 years old and adorable. Devi is 3, adorable, and he needs ME. (I am not going to lie, it feel great to feel needed.) He needs me to help provide his most basic of needs.

It will not cost me a lot of money, only $32 a month, $384 a year. But my sponsorship will allow the staff of UTTHAN Child Development Center to provide Deva with medical care, nutritious food, health and hygiene education, schooling, field trips, cultural programs, and Biblical teaching. Also, UTTHAN CDC will train Deva’s parents so they can generate more income to support the family. That is right $32 a month provides Deva with not only food, medicine, and education, but also with hope and faith. (more…)